writer ramble... ive been in this game for a few years now but something that always shocks me is when readers tell me one of my comics made them cry. like???? some of my most treasured childhood memories are crying over a good book, or a tv show. as an emotional creature, i have always found fiction highly evocative, which is why i like to make it myself. but having someone cry over something i wrote feels like a stretch goal out of reach, eeeeven though im pretty sure it has happened plenty by now. idk its just. flattering. immensely so, haha.
so, uhhhh. whats a moment from one of my comics that made you cry? im curious what my most cry-worthy stories and scenes are.
There's one thing I hate about being a writer. (Really there's many, but this one is bothering me the most)
I've been sucked into this adventure story my muse has decided we're writing. Like, we're so fucking entuned with this story. I think the last one I was this absorbed in was perhaps...Hill Manor, with all the background history and accuracy to the Pendle Witches.
But this story, has archaeology, ancient civilizations involved, one I have to create on top of it! It's adventure, mystery, romance etc.
However, I'm terrified that it won't get off the ground. Esp, since the Henry fandom is in a bit of a spot. (We won't go into that! plz)
Though, I know I'll still funnel all of my energy and writing talent into it, then post it and my amazing followers will read it and give me the love they also do, even if it's only a few dozen notes. It's who I am and the appreciation I feel from you guys is what keeps me going and posting.
Someone please tell me how my brain goes on these different plots out of just small one shots???
I made an AU where Miles' Dad wasn't dead and so he was there to stop Dahlia from manipulating and using Phoenix and now my brain comes up with this convoluted plan of how it's now Phoenix as a prosecutor and Miles as the defense attorney. I wish I could have come up with it before I was starting work tomorrow. Oh well, it'll be a nice distraction during lunch sometimes I guess lol.
Many of you have heard my rant that there’s no way Insomnia was founded “2000 years ago” -- and that’s simple math. Noctis is the 114th king. You cannot fit 114 generations in 2000 years. You just can’t. SO, my current project when my brain is not wanting to fanfic is figuring out (roughly) when the Lucian Monarchs were born, ruled, and died. I will share this when I’m done.
In the meantime, it has occurred to me, comparing their world to modern day re: medical technology / lifespans, that say, 200 years before Kingsglaive / FFXV + DLC ... the lifespans were akin to 1700. From my research, the upperclass (specifically, because of better access to food and medicine) would live into their early/mid forties.
Now, of course, by the time of canon you have people like Jared and Cid who are somewhere 70+ and doing fine.
And yet, Mors died likely somewhere in his 50s at best. (I have him at 51, but we’re never given a canon birthday.) Regis would have probably died in his fifties as well, if left to his own devices.
Here’s the kicker as to why:
Because the wall, held ever since The Wise, Optimus Lucis Caelum, 108th King of Lucis put it up.... drained their lifespans. The civilians and even the rest of the Lucian nobility, began living into 60s, 70s. 80s, 90s -- but not the kings. They’re still living literally into their 50s but also aging rapidly. (Regis does not look 50 in Kingsglaive, imo.)
Noctis never knew his grandfather. Regis likely never knew his. This is their normal. This is the price of the Ring, and Lucis’ wall.
There’s a thing about writing that people don’t really talk about, and it’s driving me nuts.
At some point, you will likely want to share your work--whether because you write professionally or because you just want other folks to read what you’ve written.
And you are going to fail.
You’ll share your work with people who don’t know how to give constructive feedback. You’ll try to promote your work and then feel horribly icky because Marketing Is Gross.** You’ll start comparing what you’re putting out there with what other better people are putting out there.
Enter all that rhetoric about how Failure Leads to Success and Just Look at This Author Who Got Five Million Rejections Before Hitting It Big Time!
To be fair, I do think there’s some validity in looking to big-time success stories for motivation.
But let’s not gloss over the fact that that advice about how Failure Is Awesome is coming from people who are not currently failing. Of course they can see it as just one part of the road to success; they’ve already moved past it!
And that’s where I think there’s something vitally important that’s missing in the writing world: namely, a sense of transparency about the process itself and how you actually deal with failure when you’re in it.
Because wow, is that the hardest part. The part where a lot of folks drop off and never hit their creative goals.
I guess what I’m saying is, I want more stories from the trenches. People who haven’t “made it” yet but are working their butts off to get there. People who keep creating, keep learning about the craft, keep sharing their stories over and over until they get to the readers who really need them.
People who fail but keep going anyway. Even in the face of uncertainty.
There’s value in an Extremely Successful Expert’s advice, of course. We need teachers, people who have been where we want to go.
But sometimes it’s hard to find any real comfort from an expert who’s so far past where you are with your writing, they don’t remember the finer details of the struggle. That’s when we need to hear from our fellow awkward but driven creatives, the ones who are still looking for their voices and figuring out where they belong in the grander scheme of things.
TL;DR: Experts are great and all, but in the midst of creative failure, it would sure be nice to hear more from people who are right there with you.
**Words can’t even express how wrong this thought is, but that doesn’t mean you won’t have it.
Me: I'm so glad that I'm done with the Duskfallow's Tomb side story in WCtS, that was so much more work than just filling in blanks in the canon.
Also Me: Lys was absolutely right when she said she expected Bangar's forces to rile up the Renegades and attack Ebonhawke first because they extra hate that the Commander is Ascalonian. I should write that ...
I just had to -- HAD TO -- swing by and give you infinite kudos for your fic "Picket Fence". I read the whole thing the other day and it was??? such a freaking joy???? It's such a creative concept! You did an amazing job of the subtle differences between the klances, based on their universe and circumstances. And the domestic klance was, of course, ADORABLE. Fantastic job, my friend!! I loved it from start to finish!!
Listen, this is the second random Picket Fence compliment of the week and I’m about to combust over here from the compliments. COMBUST.
I’m ecstatic to hear you enjoyed it, and just want to give you a big hug for this sweet note acknowledging the work that went into it. If I could just ramble for a tick - not every story I write has major notes piled up before or during the writing process, but this one - listen, this one had PAGES of notes - I eventually had to print them out so I could physically look at them instead of scrolling up and down my word documents (yeah… more than one document even - one for each world) - just to do my best to have certain attributes appear in both klances, while keeping up with canon versus not-canon thoughts and behaviors. I love that story and I loved writing it, but it was a task and your note reminds me that it was all worth it.
writer ramble... when it comes to writing neurodivergent or mentally ill characters, i find it difficult to balance acceptance of the current symptoms and recovery from those symptoms. on the one hand, a lot of neurodivergent conditions have no cures. there will never be a day that an autistic person is no longer autistic, that a schizophrenic person is no longer schizophrenic, etc. most of these things end up being chronic conditions that have to be managed across the lifespan. but on the other hand, it HAS been shown that with the right treatments, like meds or therapy, mental illness or neurodivergent conditions can be improved a lot, and the person's quality of life can increase as the more debilitating symptoms are decreased.
i think treatment and recovery are awesome things. i think working through some form of treatment is important for almost any form of mental illness one can have. but i am ALSO aware that the push to make ND people more neurotypical, to make us more palatable to neurotypical peers, to remove from us what makes us different... is like, not one of society's best impulses? ^^;;; most find it offensive, for example, to suggest that autism should be ameliorated by forcing the autistic person to act more neurotypical. this is the major criticism of ABA.
when it comes to real people, i have a personal rule to accept people exactly as they are. i refuse to wait for the "better" version of a person to come around... if i don't like the person as they are, ND or not, then I don't associate. if i DO like them, then i accept them for all the mental illness or other symptoms they may come with. i never keep friends on the crux that they will like go to therapy and improve themselves. i refuse to make that a requirement of having a relationship with me. if i can't take you as you are, i'll abstain and save us both the grief. if i CAN take you as you are, then you're my friend no matter how depressed or suicidal or obsessive-compulsive or personality disordered you may be. we weather the storms together. we stick together, whether at our best or our worst.
characters are a bit trickier. there's no real necessity to accept a character as they are because they aren't real and thus can't be hurt by me pushing them to improve, narratively or otherwise. but if ND narratives are overly focused on recovery and undergoing treatment, is that like... not a great message for all the ND people in the audience??? but if we refuse recovery, if we refuse to better ourselves or our QOL in any way, aren't we ultimately just hurting ourselves? couldn't it be a good thing to show ND people conquering their most debilitating symptoms and leading better lives?
it becomes a line that i find pretty difficult to toe in my stories lol. i want my characters to improve as people and find healthy ways to cope with their symptoms... i DON'T want to advertise that the right way to live as a ND person is to become more NT. it's hard hahaha!
something that i try to think about, at least, is to look at recovery from the perspective of the ND people who have whatever condition, and try to define recovery not by NT standards but rather by the standards set by that ND group itself. for example, when it comes to plural folks and people with dissociative disorders, a lot of them tend to forgo final fusion (a historical "treatment" for dissociative disorders) in favor of "functional multiplicity," in which the system learns how to function well and cope with their multiplicity, usually done in therapy, and start to use the hidden advantages plurality provides to their own benefit. i think that's a beautiful way to go about one's treatment, and i think (hope!) that similar initiatives could be found for other ND people with different types of conditions. the focus is removed from eliminating the mental illness, in favor of asking how ND people can be supported without having to eliminate what makes them different.
but it becomes a real head scratcher trying to figure out how to apply all that wisdom to fictional character arcs LOL.
