The pairing I had in mind have some age difference (one is about mid-30s, the other is mid to late 50s), and I wanted to write a slow romance sub-plot, but I also wanted to get some realistic possibility of 'will it work or not work due to age gap' discussion. (The idea came from a thought while showering, surprisingly). Sorry, it’s not much detail that you wanted.
Not surprising at all, all my fic ideas and plot twists basically happen while I’m showering and I’m positive there must be some sort of chemical reaction / psychological activity going on behind it)
Don’t worry, I can work with that =) I was actually thinking they would be much younger and that would have implied taking into consideration aspects such as different stages of maturity, the older portion of the relationship abusing the younger one (not physically, but with a position of having power over them), manipulation, etc…
Writing age difference has no middle ground - it can be a minefield or it can be nurturing.
For the age difference that you are mentioning, the first thing that came to my mind was an old picture of my grandparents (my grandpa was 15 years older than my grandma) - granted that society has changed and those bonds would seem inappropriate/extremely difficult to handle today, but their story helped my contemporary mind to understand that the love they shared was real and a part of me is still conflicted with the thought that such a feeling can be circumscribed to a limited time period.
By the case you are presenting I can assume the younger character is fully capable of their own choices and while ignoring the age difference is not something I would recommend, there are some basic understatements that can be tricky:
It would be easy assume that their life experiences differ because the older person has “lived more” - this is erroneous, completely erroneous. However, this point has the potential to become a very interesting beacon for argumentation: perhaps the older person feels entitled to feel superior, to give advice? Maybe this can help fuel the dynamics of the pair (not in an unhealthy way, of course), but it can lead to them opening up and sharing; the younger part can expose their views on the matter.
Another very interesting thing is that someone in their fifties is definitely going to have a completely different view on age difference (remember what I said about my grandparents? to this person, they would be their parents so proximity plays a big part here and all the good or bad memories still clinging to their nostalgia will strive to somehow mold their views on the subject) - the younger one can have a different idea, maybe an entirely different conceptualization of age difference and I believe this is where you actually have potential for this pairing to be successful: to address their differences and explore them, procuring ways for them to work things out when necessary.
The bond between them does not necessarily have to run smoothly but the age gap between them does not have to be the only reason for that to happen. If you build a healthy bond between these characters, given their ages, their bond can feel pretty organic. There are some other bonds, of course, that can be unhealthy, especially when certain psychological aspects come to play (such as trying to fill an empty space, neglecting the affectionate side of the bonding in order to hold on to a missing or extrapolated paternal/maternal figure, and like I said before, manipulation and abuse.)
But all things considered, this age difference can actually work for a healthy couple. Just make sure the age gap is yet another aspect of their complex bonding dynamics and not the very (if not sole) element that defines it.
