May 27, 2025
Morticia: Wednesday's at that very special age when an Addams has only one thing on their mind.
Esther: *scoffs* Homicide?
Wednesday: *ominously* Your daughter.
seen from Germany
seen from United States
seen from France
seen from T1
seen from United States
seen from Russia
seen from Netherlands
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Brazil
seen from Italy
seen from United States
seen from Belarus
seen from Germany
seen from United States
seen from Brazil
seen from Mexico
Morticia: Wednesday's at that very special age when an Addams has only one thing on their mind.
Esther: *scoffs* Homicide?
Wednesday: *ominously* Your daughter.
Enid: Be your own psycho, Agnes. Trust me, you’ll be good at it.
Agnes: 🥹
– Many years later. –
Wednesday: Mi lobita, guess who’s back on the FBI’s Most Wanted list for deranged acts of truly ingenious mayhem?
Enid: Please don’t be Agnes please don’t be Agnes please—
Wednesday: *proudly* It’s our Agnes.
Enid:
Enid: *furious* READ MY LIPS, WEDNESDAY! NO MORE Mmmph!
Wednesday: *quite thoroughly reads Enid’s lips*
Enid: *tries valiantly to not melt into a puddle*
Wednesday: *finally releases Enid, her own cheeks flushed*
Wednesday: Just as I expected. Gibberish.
Bianca: You know that wasn’t what she meant.
Wednesday: *scoffs* She made the demand. I simply chose to read them in Braille.
Bianca: In that case, why did you use your lips instead of your fingertips?
Wednesday: Cello callouses.
Bianca:
Bianca: Fair.
Enid: 🫠💕
Wednesday: *glaring at Enid’s phone* That is most certainly NOT me.
Bianca: I dunno, you’re both cold-blooded.
Ajax: And got mad skills with string instruments.
Agnes: And have a thing for unapologetically ostentatious blonde divas with no volume control.
Enid: *beaming* See, babe? It’s unanimous, this gif is totes you!
Wednesday:
Wednesday: I despise you all.
Gif in question:
In their shared room, Wednesday stands next to Enid’s wastebasket, holding up a broken branch and a box marked One Wish Willow.
Wednesday: What… What have you done, Enid?
Enid: I did it for us, Wednesday. Because I love you.
Wednesday: *hisses* You took away my free will!
Enid: I HAD to! You left me no choice!
Wednesday:
Wednesday: So everything that’s happened this past week, the changes in my behavior, in how I feel… they’re all because you… you wished for…
Enid: For you to stay hydrated.
Wednesday:
Wednesday: I will admit, the newfound clarity and reduced lethargy are not entirely unwelcome.
Enid: SEE? And your skin has never looked better!
Wednesday: *pouts and takes a grudging sip from her water bottle*
At Enid and Wednesday’s wedding reception.
Enid: 🤨⁉️
Enid: Dearest wife, why the heck did you bring our silver engagement dagger?
Wednesday: Senior year, third weekend of first semester, girl’s night.
Enid: Huh?
Wednesday: I kissed Divina at our bachelorette party. I have successful married you. That leaves one obligation to fulfill, and an Addams always makes good on their promises.
Enid: Huh??
Wednesday: And speak of the Devil… *turns*
Esther: *walks up with a disdainful sneer* Well, Enid, it looks like you got your way in the end. I suppose it takes a freak to love a disappointment.
Enid: *distractedly* Hang on, Mom. Kiss, marry…
Enid: 😲‼️
Enid: Ohmygod, duh! It’s KILL! Kiss, marry— WEDNESDAY NO!
Wednesday: *scoffs* Please, I do not need to outrun a bear.
Bianca: *eye roll* Let me guess, is it because you’d only need to outrun the person next to you?
Agnes: *admiringly* Or because you carry a poisoned dagger perfect for incapacitating large animals?
Wednesday: Not quite. It’s due to the fact that my fearsome fiancée is an indomitable supernatural apex predator—
Wednesday: —with an inexplicable talent for befriending woodland denizens smaller than herself.
Bianca/Agnes: 🤨🤔
Bianca/Agnes: 😒😒
Enid: *in the corner knitting contentedly*
A black bear: *wearing a yellow snood and holding up Enid’s yarn taut around both forepaws*
Enid: *cheerily* Thanks again, Mister Bartleby, you’re the best.
A black bear Mister Bartleby: *polite rumble* 🐻
Enid: Hey, babe, what’s up? You’re looking a little more, uh… woeful than usual.
Wednesday: I am feeling strangely disconnected today. Even your incorrigible cheer feels somehow dampened by this malaise.
Enid: Aw, are you feeling down in the dumps?
Wednesday: *scoffs* Please, my feelings are nothing so pedestrian.
Enid: Oh yeah? Then what are they like?
Wednesday: *thoughtful pause*
Wednesday: It is as though I am a derelict ship lost at sea, blinded by fog and haunted by the mere memory of warmth.
Enid: *equally thoughtful pause*
Enid: Wednesday, if you’re a lost ship, then I’m your lighthouse. I will always be here to guide you back, so that you may crash upon my loving shores.
Wednesday: You would make a shipwreck out of me?
Enid: Obvi! Complete and total loss of life. Not even the rats survive. Tragic to the max.
Wednesday: *steps closer* …mi luz. 🖤
Enid: *leans in* My ghost ship~ 💕
Wednesday/Enid: 👩❤️💋👩