"Was everything a lie?"
Angsty Sentence Starters
"I—"
He could barely breathe when confronted with that question. He knew he’d lied to him, he knew he’d been on the same level as Fontaine, he knew how pained Jack must be by the imitated reveal, the cover-up of his very existence, but that was no reason not to forgive him. Or so he hoped. So he begged, he pleaded to the gods above. Because what he and Jack shared was something special, a mutual understanding, a very extraordinary feeling that he never wanted to stop. He could barely push the word love into his mind, it refusing to accept such a possibility. So he crawled on all fours to the bars that preventing him from escaping, slowly him standing up in order to make it easier for them to match gazes. ”I swear to you that I didn’t lie.” Eyes trailed off to the floor, fingers trembling on top of the cold steel, both its icy texture as well as his nerves affecting his physical behaviour. He couldn’t think. He had to apologize, but right now his heart raced too fast—- his mind was too chaotic—- everything hurt and it delayed any and all reactions. He was simply deeply sorry,. and only if he could convey that proper.
”I— I— I was promised somethin’ else, somethin’ diff’rent. I didn’t want t’ hurt you, Jack, I didn’t, really, ‘cause ye’re a special li’l boy. I don’t think anyone’s e-ever been that special to me—” He was too fast, too absorbed by the chaos that surrounded him to make sense. Context removed, it was like he spat lie after lie, while if he was allowed to find it he could grab the physical document in which the agreement had taken place. Every line described the plan; the deal had been broken, and it wasn’t him that had done so. It was the other side. But how could he explain to Jack without proof. Lips trembled as they parted, his heart sinking once he saw the sorrowful expression on Jack’s face. He despised himself for this, he should’ve seen it coming. “I was p-promised th’ city, a better future if I jus’ did this one job. If I jus’ lead this kid t’ do whatever Fontaine pleased, but I didn’t know it’d be this.. special. I never knew you were such a cute boy with such charm, I didn’t know what overcame me when I saw y’ first. I thought—-“
He paused, letting out a shivering breath. He should take that back, he shouldn’t have opened up about it in the first place, it’d worsen things; wouldn’t it? It’d only ruin little that was left of their positive relationship. He knew it for sure. Because he was such a great fool, because he had to spoil anything he liked for himself. “—- I thought, maybe that I could get ye outta here when I was done. Have y’ do th’ job, get me reward, an’ then maybe together we could flee to a better future. One where neither of us are hurt. One where— where we’d both be happy, in any way possible.” A weak, miserable smile appeared on pale lips as he finally looked the other in the eye again, tears forming in the corners of his eyes. “I swear, I wanted nothin’ but fo’ you to smile.”
Something in him snapped and he lost all energy in his legs, him falling to his knees, pleading and begging for forgiveness. The many ‘sorry’s’ that he whispered over and over again never seemed enough, because he could never rectify this grand mistake he’d made. Because he broke Jack’s trust.
He could never forgive himself.
