#x reader posts

[shakespearean-simp]

have you guys heard that audio of like the "did you know that atoms never touch each other?" thing?

because it's giving matty explaining to professor mcgonagall that he did not in fact punch mclaggen for looking at you funny for 0.0000001 seconds too long

if you haven't heard it, it goes like:

"did you know...that atoms never touch each other...and since we're made of atoms...we've never touched anything in our entire lives. so to answer your question officer no i did not punch that kid-"

[thatbabydeer]

A daily reminder that writers on tumblr provide you with personal and meticulously crafted content to your needs for FREE and the only thing we ask for in return is consideration, respect and the decency to read our rules before requesting.

(The reason im saying this is because someone just requested something that goes so against my rules im genuinely disturbed.)

I'm fairly new on here so this is my first bad experience and I'm a little taken aback. It is not our job, we're not being paid. It takes two minutes to read the rules before requesting.

[shakespearean-simp]

mattheo trying to figure out if f!reader just flirted or made fun of him

*earlier*

r: "you have an interesting way of doing things, mattheo."

*later in his dorm*

m: "interesting? INTERESTING? is she interested in me, or does she think i'm weird? am i weird? do i freak her out? what if-"

bonus:

d: "merlin, shut up already! i need my beauty sleep to look this good! *condescending huff* my father will hear about this..."

t: "mate, just go to bed...you've been at this for an hour..."

e: "just ask her out already...jeez..."

[shakespearean-simp]

reader and theo got caught making out in the abandoned bathroom

r: *hurriedly straightens hair and clothes, embarrassed, and follows the professor to wherever they're being led*

t: *follows after them, nonchalant, looking at their ass (that he was squeezing a few minutes ago)*

[shakespearean-simp]

mattheo, high as a kite, after he unsuccessfully flirts with reader

[they've been dating for a few years now]

m: hey gorgeous, wanna come home with me tonight? promise i'll treat you well...you coming over isn't gonna be the only thing coming tonight...

r: *confused/judgmental/something stare*

[awkward silence]

r: matty...we've been dating for over a year...

m: ...

[shakespearean-simp]

tipsy!mattheo watching f!reader dance across the slytherin common room at a party

*someone approaches reader, clearly interested*

m: *cocks his head slightly, squinting at them*

r: *laughs at something they said, not noticing the person touching their arm*

m: *jaw clenches*

[shakespearean-simp]

pov: whenever snape trashes james

j: you talk smack about me? i'll smack you! i'll shove these antlers where the sun don't shine! *angry deer noises*