#xander's threads

[needleandstory]

@scxrytxles ; ask Alice begins to poke the pointy peaks of her fangs. Now that Xander mentions it, she guesses they kind of are. Huh! She'd never really thought about it. "Chunky-" She half-garbles, mouth full of hand. A pause as she realizes her words are getting all tangled up talking like this. Bleyah- she ejects her hand, immediately wiping it on dark denim. As soon as it's dryish, she leans forward, taking a grip of Xander's jaw and encouraging his mouth open. "You had some sharp chompers though, it remembers! At least six..." The sooner you open your mouth, Xander, the sooner she'll be done.

Xander crouches down and peers into Alice's mouth--as best he can around her hand, anyway--head tilting as he tries to get a better view. "Yeah, that's a good word for it." Alice's teeth are no delicate vampire fangs, that's for sure. He wonders if they were always like that; did she even have baby teeth?

He's about to ask when her hands are on his face instead, squishing his cheeks and lips. "I dunno, I don't think they're that sh--ough." That was definitely, absolutely, Alice's hands in his mouth. He adjusted his tongue--she tasted strangely of salty cherry--but otherwise held still, mouth open, awaiting her judgement.

[sleepinggrigori]

(ask)

"Are you okay?" Keerin asked, shouldering their phone upward into comfort. "If you need me to pick you up, please remember that I do not have a car." They could tell something was wrong- Xander wouldn't call them unless it was Very Bad, and they could hear trouble in his voice. "Where's Jeremy?" 

@desertfragments

“Shit, that’s right...“ Xander was muffled, and a little nasally, from the napkins pressed to his face. “Jeremy’s asleep in bed, I fuckin’ hope. I didn’t want to wake him.“ It was a bad lie, and he knew it the moment it came out of his mouth. Obviously, he was willing to wake Keerin. “You don’t even have a license?“

[needleandstory]

@desertfragments = ask "Hey, Xander?" Her voice is soft, shrouded by dark exhaustion. Jay shifts on the ground, pulling her blankets up close. "Are you awake? I can't sleep." Of course she couldn't. Not when her head keeps spinning with the memory of Xander- limping bloody and wounded towards them empty handed; Jeremy- tired and empty. Jay swallows her guilt and tries not to think about it. She should've gone with them. "Do you," he hesitates. "Do you wish you could go back? To before all this?" Sometimes he does. Sometimes he wishes that he wasn't alone. That he had a family still. That he didn't have to lose anyone. Jay sinks further into the blankets. "Miss her," he mumbles.

Xander stared at the ceiling. Not asleep, but not awake. Exhaustion muddied his thoughts, yet his mind buzzed with static fuzz, pacing without purpose or clear form. His bones ached. His body ached. Jeremy, though, slept soundly--thank every god out there for that. He was nestled against Xander's side, head on his shoulder and arm across his chest. So long as Jeremy was there, Xander wouldn't be moving, no matter how sore he got.

Jay's voice was a blessed relief from the boredom, no matter how difficult it was for his brain to decipher the words. He dropped his other hand off the edge of the bed, an offering for her, if she wanted the contact. "Yeah, I miss her too."

"I..." His voice trailed off as he struggled for words. "No, no, don't think so. This... fuckin, sucks. Yeah. The worst. But I wouldn't wanna do it again. I couldn't have just... let her go. Even knowing this is how it ends, and I got everyone hurt. Couldn't have done it. Would've felt even shittier."

[sleepinggrigori]

laverginedegliangeli‌:

When being randomly addressed by any man in public, Jasmine froze up. It didn’t even really matter what they said to her, because she feared what it was they thought or they wanted. The word ‘princess’ hadn’t eased her mind much at all, so her heart still rapidly pounded while this strange conversation continued. But when the man spoke again – despite the fact he referred to her as queen now – it seemed what he had up his sleeve wasn’t altogether evil.

He wanted her to come to his concert? Jasmine loved music, so when hearing that, her heart might have made a little jump. xanQuestion was, though, if she had the guts to actually go there on her own. Because on her own she would go.

“I don’t really have friends.” The words left Jasmine’s lips a little too fast and she immediately regretted them, because that sounded absolutely ridiculous and pathetic, did it not? Her eyes rounded a little, but it seemed her mind was particularly sharp today, because she was able to come up with a save rather quickly. “..that.. would like such a thing, I’m afraid.”

As the mute terror faded from Jasmine’s eyes, Xander felt a small bubble of relief in his chest. These days, he felt sure in who he was, but he still, on occasion, felt a lingering sense of community with women: he remembered what it used to be like, back when he was a butch. He used to be a protector, and it still stung to have become the threat. It was still easy to forget.

But, his shift seemed to have done the trick. At least, she was talking to him, which was the important part. That was all he needed, really.

Still, she was awkward as hell. He caught that save. It didn’t matter. He kept on his easy grin. “Doesn’t matter, queen. Come or don’t; I won’t be hurt if you stay home. But I’m telling you, it’s a show worth seeing; you won’t be disappointed. Just take the ticket. Think about it.“ He still held out to her, in two fingers, his golden ticket. Printed on it was the venue, the time, and the name of the three headline bands: Blackadder, Terminal Horizon, and The Lost Capulets.

[sleepinggrigori]

“Okay, first, I’m not a princess.“

“Queen, then?“ Xander’s assured smile wasn’t diminished in the slightest. He kept his voice soft, relaxed, private for her. “Look, all I’m saying is, come to my show tomorrow night. Bring some friends. I’m not looking to hook up, don’t worry, that’s not my thing. We’ll be debuting a new song. You won’t regret it, I promise.“ His eyes gently pleaded as he offered her the complimentary concert ticket.

The truth was, there was only one angle to Xander’s offer: to get people in the door. It was a careful calculation: if only five people he’d given a free ticket actually showed up, and each of them brought one or two friends--after all, who really went to a concert alone?--then that was another five or ten ticket sales with the hope of fifteen new potential fans, and--hopefully--a good night for all involved. But, her suspicion wasn’t entirely without merit: it was her pretty face that had gotten him chatting her up in the first place.

[sleepinggrigori]

@scxrytxles (cont)

Lewis kicks the dumpster hard. He kicks it once, he kicks it again, and again, again, again, again until there’s a black scuffed crater in the old, filthy metal and his foot hurts and he’s panting, hard and unsteady. He swipes a fist against his face, catching a cold streak of sweat along his forearm.

“Fuck!” He shouts. Nobody’s here. He can fall apart, just a little, right? It’s okay to do that? It’s normal? He just lost his- “Fuck!” Mother and his “God dammit!” his brother and- He shouldn’t have come here, this was stupid, a stupid idea. He’s not back to his usual shitty self, he’s extra shitty, and extra stupid because he heard Charlie’s favorite song and now he’s unraveling, all scabs and tears and beer-on-his-breath and bruises.

It takes a moment to notice, to pry himself out of the heady haze of grief and disgust and childish “why did this happen to me?” but he does. He notices. Someone is here, someone followed him. He hears a footfall, then another, an awkward breath in. There’s a question trying to form in the silence and Lewis snarls to himself, humiliated, snatching his drink off the ground at his feet.

“Can I- Hah- can I fucking help you?!” Lewis chucks the beer bottle at the wall next to the stranger’s head. Not too close, hopefully (hopefully), he isn’t trying to hurt anyone, but close enough to freak him out. Yeah that’s right, I’m fucking crazy back off and go back to your stupid dumb-shit party-

The world spins and he leans into the wall for support, tries to make it look casual, and bitchy and annoyed instead of desperate and tipsy and out of control. “There’s a whole fucking party and you’re following me around, what the fuck is wrong with you?”

If he’s angry enough, if he’s loud enough, they’ll hate him, the way they’re supposed to and they won’t care that he’s shaking or hemorrhaging his dumb fucking feelings everywhere and they’ll turn around. Any minute. Please, just go, just leave him alone.

In the shadows, Xander hesitates. It had been an impulse decision to follow: he’d glimpsed a flash of a face almost like Jeremy’s, mohawk and a face full of metal, but this stranger was careening, and now outside, yelling and screaming. He thinks about turning around. He doesn’t need to involve himself in this; this looks personal. Why should he bother? There’s a whole party waiting, where he could be rubbing shoulders with strangers, having a good time, and promoting the band.

But before he can retreat, he’s noticed. The bottle explodes inches from his head--his arm flies up to shield himself--but rather than be any sort of deterrent, it steels his decision to stay. Lewis’s yelling is a challenge, and like fuck is he going to go running away from that. Besides, what he’s yelling is the dumbest shit Xander’s ever heard.

Xander steps out full into the light, mouth brow and shoulders set firm. “Hell yeah I followed you out here; you looked like you were about to collapse in there. You still look about five seconds from falling over. Now, are you going to try to pick a fight with me, or are you going to sit the fuck down?“

[sleepinggrigori]

@desertfragments (cont)

Keerin wasn't expecting anyone to visit. In fact, they weren't expecting to see anyone, and hadn't done so in... too long. Months, at this point. It wasn't that they were avoiding their friends.

But. Well. What else did you call it? Oh, no I hadn't seen your two dozen messages, or your fifteen different voicemails. No, I'm not avoiding you! What ever made you think that?

No.

There wasn't much point in lying. They were avoiding their friends. Avoiding Xander.

So why was he here? Keerin blinked at him, standing outside the door with a plastic bag and an awkward smile. "Hey," they said. "I didn't think..." Their head tilted, a flicker of their own nervous smile on their face. "That you would come back. Come on in."

So they weren’t dead. They were even letting him in.

Internally, Xander breathed a sigh of relief. That was the fear that had gnawed at him most. He’d seen it in others more times than he’d like to recount, and it was so easy for his imagination to reshape the memories around Keerin’s corpse: alone on the ground, bloated, sallow, forgotten.

“Thanks.“ He pushed the bag into Keerin’s hands as he walked in--he wouldn’t leave them any space to twitter and flutter and oh-so politely decline. Who knew what else they’d been neglecting.

He didn’t smile: all his fretting and worry had settled into the thin, determined line of his mouth and the firm set of his brow. He didn’t buy what Keerin said for a second. How many messages did he have to send, really, for them to realize he wanted to talk? He dropped onto the couch. No small talk, no formalities, he cut right to the heart of it all: “So what’s happened with you?“

[sleepinggrigori]

"Sorry you had to see that," Keerin said, popping the cap off a beer bottle and passing it to Xander. Their own beer fizzled in the cold air of their balcony. Keerin grimaced as they drank; the beer was terrible and cheap, but tonight was the kind of night that called for it. Desperately.

Xander accepted the beer and took a swig as he leaned against the railing. "It's fine. So what happened back there?"

The car ride had been rough, and without explanation. As soon as Xander had gotten Keerin's call, the sound of their voice alone told him to come, and the car ride had been quiet. Until it wasn't. Kai, in the back, being just as irritating as Keerin had always said. Xander nearly had to pull them over, but ended up drowning him out with the stereo.