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a long standing grievance of mine. its a very simple one but its just so fucking sinister to me that clothes for fat people are made specifically to "ugly"-fy us and make us ashamed and to force us to stop trying to look anything other than "terrible". its so much deeper than just wanting cute clothes!!! its such a horrible pattern of intentionally societally mocking us for trying to be "normal", to fit in. recently i went shopping for clothes and you can probably imagine how humiliating it was to be out browsing stuff made for skinny people trying desperately to find my size while surrounded by said skinny people and myself dressed badly; it felt as if i just barged into a party i was explicitly not invited to, and (despite some people probably thinking right now that im just being dramatic) i have gotten stares for just... existing in a skinny peoples space i guess. every space is for skinny people, and we fat people are forced into our own specific ugly stores with our own specific ugly clothes and our own specific ugly lives. fuck this shit.

#xyloblogging #im drawing on paint nowadays because its easier to use a trackpad and two fingers than my stupidphone #fatphobia #an xl tshirt from the mens (!!!) section actually turned out to be sized closer to a womans medium istg #and dont tell me to just shop online bc i shouldnt fking have to #mini rant #shitty comic #kinda vent #ms paint

fun fact: tumblr makes me feel uneasy quite often - hence why i rarely ever show up here, side from this whole drawtober thing.

the reason: when i was in middle school & much more autistic, i was OBSESSED with rincewind. so obsessed, in fact, that seeing ANY content featuring him would overstimulate me. usually to the point of going dizzy and nauseous... from excitement, sure, but uncomfortable nonetheless. therefore, as one can guess, i have gained an unconscious "tumblr = him = scaryyyy" association

to add insult to injury, i still experience this when reading fanfiction. but, in spite of said adversity, my attempts at becoming more resilient to my own autism have not ceased, and i am convinced that one day i will escape the prison of my own emotional responses altogether

to summarize: rincewind's mere presence, be it in visible or readable or imaginable form, used to put me mere meters away from death's door — and still does, occasionally. but that cannot and will not stop me from still, still seeking out his face and his whole entire self, as i am too much of a homosexual for my own good. bless my soul

#xyloblogging #i tried my darnest to make this text read smoothly but i think i failed miserably #punctuation here is only so that sentences dont touch eachother too much #discworld #I LOVE RINCEWIND FOUR EXCLAMATION MARKS #!!!!#!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

jax could quite literally sacrifice his LIFE for the sake of everyone else while outright saying "i actually care about this and i have feelings other than violence" in the process and some of y'all would STILL post some bs like "urmm are we supposed to FORGIVE this NASTY ABUSER??.... that's literally ABUSE apologism....... we need to torture him for forever.... this is kinda problematic and even misogynistic......."

like listen i understand y'all don't like him and i think he's lowkey annoying too (despite being one of my favorite characters) but if you have a negative bias against him OF COURSE he seems like he's had zero personal development, some of y'all are not even willing to ENTERTAIN the idea of him having anything deeper than "oh he's insecure and thus a terrible person" going on. PLEASE actually engage with the media you post opinions and criticism of, simply watching at facest value possible is not enough 💔

#xyloblogging #literary analysis by xylo #like he literally spelled EVERYTHING out word for WORD in ep 6 and people still don't get it...#tadc #tadc jax #the amazing digital circus #this fandom is a fucking prison #i understand that this might be babys first psychological exploration but come on didn't we talk about this #ppl will talk endlessly about how they're into restorative justice and against the death penalty #then get mad at gooseworx for not writing their elaborate revenge fantasies into the show #rant post

some people online will be like:

ermmm wdym you're autistic??? science has proven a WHIILE back that autism is EXCLUSIVELY caused by emotionally cold mothers, if you didn't have an emotionally cold mother you're literally NOT autistic by the DEFINITION!! wdym you have social struggles, sensory issues, rejection sensitivity and every other symptom known to man?? it's just a comorbidity of anxiety and sensitivity because i already TOLD you that autism is exclusively traumagenic... ugh, just look it up! and frankly it's extremelly offensive to people with Fridge Mother Syndrome who have went through ACTUAL TRAUMA just for you to claim that you have it because you want to be different. and don't even get me started on those people with "sensory issues to smells", that's just not real, SCIENCE has proven so already!! no REAL person with FMS has those, the ONLY valid sensory issues are to foods and maybe clothing textures with the latter being EXTREMELY rare. and ofc if you don't hate velvet you dont actually count as someone with FMS because SCIENCE has proven that every person with it always hates velvet. UGH im so tired of these FAKERS!!

and some of yall will be like:

wow so true!!!!!!! these ableists piss me off!!!!! hashtag endos dni hashtag actuially autistic

#wdym you have a broken leg science says you can only break ur leg falling off a tree but you havent fallen off any.#therefore ur just faking it dude & your leg bone sticking out at a 90degree angle is just simple osteoporosis you FAKERRRR #xyloblogging #yes this is about did but also every other disorder like ever #like yk sometimes science isnt fully right. just a humble 100 years ago they thought womens uteruses could fly out of the body. be humble #endo safe #endos di (DO interact) lol

mister clinical depression over here w this setup

#discworld #rinceflower #this is wayyy before the marriage #vro doesnt even know what awaits him #lilybillydrawtober #i gotta fix my sleeping schedule i woke up at 19 today thats not sigma #sorry for the yt shorts way of speaking #fun fact im allergic to mangoes #sketch #this is around uhhh roughly the last hero hence why its not remotely an office yet and just kinda a trashy room bc hes yet to have the #needed financial support to renovate #and the librarian is mad at him for hoarding books to hold up that brand new but still uncomfortable mattress #i always mess up the timelines man my time comprehension is piss poor dont correct me eventually ill realize if i made any mistakes and its #gonna be torturous #xyloblogging

i will post art btw but rn is too early bc its a secret santer thing. shh emoji.... its le banger though i went so hard w the lighting (is that how its spelled?? i mean the shading not sky electricity). ponder doodles + a crude comic thoughhhh!! hmu if you have info on the discworld equivalent of african countries

#xyloblogging #ponder stibbons #discworld #farsighted vs nearsighted but both should be ashamed for serving this much cunt. moreso twoflower though. sorry #excuse the copypasted arabic + not even the moroccan kind of it. i dont speak it alas and i didnt want to use gogle translate #ponderwind

i have a confession to make (yes, another). which i feel MANY will not agree with me about. it's a bit.. elephant in the room of my skull. i am fearing for my life posting this.

i have a bit of beef with paul kidby. NOT AS A PERSON but as an artist. if you know me you can already guess why. it's not the style (which i love and has attempted to emulate in my younger years), it's not the potrayals (many of which are quite brilliant)...... it's this sort of. you know. a slightly noticeable uhm. issue. uh. and im going to put it the way i would in a private space with my friends because i don't want to mask my opinion for palatability. the issue is, quite precisely. erm.

does bro draw black people???????????