Y&T: Down for the Count (1985)
How can one enumerate the many ways in which veteran hard rockers Y&T sabotaged and embarrassed themselves -- and their long-suffering fans -- 40 years ago with the prophetically named Down for the Count?
Under pressure from A&M Records and with "assistance" from new producer Kevin Beamish (REO Speedwagon, Saxon, etc.), by 1985 Y&T had joined the perm-haired, mascara-smeared masses that were issuing like dandruff out of the Hollywood hills.
Mind you, for years the group had been steadily selling out to tacky pop metal trends, but here they succumbed completely to vulgar hair metal gimmicks and synthesizers (*), among other sins committed while redefining the meaning of the word "dumb." (**)
And I mean DUMB, because brainless, say-nothing rockers like "In the Name of Rock," "Anytime at All," "Anything for Money," and "Looks Like Trouble" wouldn't even register on the IQ scale, let alone a rock 'n' roll Richter Scale.
The latter was of course especially ironic for a band that put out a seminal album called Earthshaker, just four years earlier.
But now, glossy, sanitized corporate rock like "All American Boy," "Face Like an Angel," and "Your Mama Don't Dance" (originally recorded by yacht rockers Loggins & Messina!) couldn't even shake your grandma's dentures.
Even a legit head-banger like "Don't Tell Me What to Wear" is spoiled by lyrics that feebly mimic the PG-13 rebellion of Twisted Sister's "We're Not Gonna Take It," and which sound all the more absurd coming from four guys dressed like old hookers on the rear sleeve.
Out of this mucky-muck, "Summertime Girls" is hard to fault purely as a pop metal single (until one sees its painfully cheesy video) and "Hands of Time" is a decent addition to Y&T's anthemic power ballad canon, but the band was clearly already receiving a "standing eight-count."
Indeed, Y&T's time at A&M soon came to an end, and though they managed to broker a brief afterlife at Geffen Records thanks to A&R guru John Kalodner, not even the man who rescued Aerosmith's and Whitesnake's careers could pull off the same magic with these guys.
Sure, Y&T reunited after the grunge apocalypse and leader Dave Meniketti is still out there, somewhere, leading a new-line-up of the group, but all of his original band-mates have sadly left us: Phil Kennemore in 2011, Leonard Haze in '16, and Joey Alves in '17.
Their memories are all unfortunately tarnished by bum records like Down for the Count, In Rock We Trust, Contagious, and Ten, but fans will luckily remember them for the excellent if underrated trilogy of Earthshaker, Black Tiger, and Mean Streak.
* These synths and other keyboards were performed by long-time Dio-associate Claude Schnell.
** Some of these well-deserved insults originated in my All-Music Guide review of Y&T's Down for the Count.
More Y&T: Yesterday and Today, Struck Down, Earthshaker, Black Tiger, Mean Streak, Open Fire.
