notes: feelings are so hard to understand, aren't they? they confuse us and sometimes that's what we need. sometimes we become blind to the truth because "how could it be?" we think this is for the best and what if it isn't? what could you possibly do? how can you scream when you know no one will hear you? for music suggestion, dying is a beautiful thing to do by EASHA.
and there is this one boy that i really like-
he is handsome and all smiles,
unforgettable eyes looking right at mine-
oh how beautiful it is to be in love!
and he tells me everyday how much joy it brings to him,
he tells his mother of our growing affection
he tells her to buy me nice stuff so he can show his appreciation
he can’t give his heart, i beg him not to because i know he craves for it to happen.
he shows me his appreciation.
he shows it to me when we are sitting on a bench in the park,
with one of his arms around my shoulders and one of his hands on my phone
going through my instagram feed, lifting his eyebrow at the ones he thinks that aren’t good for me
so he shows me that he cares and makes me unfollow.
he cares so much about every little thing because he wants me to be the happiest i can be.
he shows me his appreciation.
it’s eight am and i am attending both my classes and his,
his headaches are getting worse and i know that i should be here for him.
it makes me exhausted but that’s okay because i am showing that i care.
if i miss one of it, he reminds me because he knows that i want to show him my appreciation
he promises me kisses and hugs, all i can think is “this is it, he cares too!”
he shows me his appreciation.
i talk with my friends, message them a lot because i love them
they love me as well, always there if i need some attention, a text away
and they let me speak as if they can feel my hurt through the screens we look at
they joke around a lot and make me happy, maybe the reason why no one sees my tears
and i talk to them about him in need of advice and reassurance that my sanity is still here
they tell me it’s serious, is it that serious? he needs me, i remind them.
“yes, he needs you. for his own responsibilities and ego…”
he shows me his appreciation.
my mind is full of regretful thoughts, he cares, doesn’t he?
when he asks me about where i have been, it’s to ensure my safety, right?
when he starts to get angry about my exes, it’s because he wants me, right?
when he remind me about how he cries to his mother, it’s because he wants to stay, right?
doesn’t it make any sense to them? don’t they see that he thinks in a different way but still loves me?
no. they don’t. they can’t see it.
how could they know about it if they never felt his hands around mine and the way he smiles through his laughs because he finds my answers so funny?
“we are for each other, we don’t need anyone else” he says it all the time.
he shows me his appreciation.
and there is this boy that i really like-
he is handsome and all growls,
unforgettable eyes looking right through mine-
oh how tiring it is to be in love!
and he tells me everyday how much joy it brings to him,
he tells his mother of his growing affection
he tells her to buy me nice stuff so he can show his smile
he can’t give his heart, i beg him not to because i know how much my back already hurts from carrying his other stuff.
he shows me his appreciation.
i love him so much and he makes me so happy, there isn’t anything like ours.
he showers me with his kisses and hugs, careful to not touch my bruises and hurt me more.
and my friends all vanished away in the blink of an eye, couldn’t they even say goodbye?
