#yesyoucandate

[yesyoucandate]

So... this new extrarealty dating app thing. Got to pick somebody and then something should happen?

Who to choose though?

[Text reads “You have 3 new matches! Select 1, 2, or 3 And the system will connect you to your match! 1. Name: Looking for: Location: My name is biskit lets hang out! jsj’f 2. Name: Carol Looking for: Friends/Romance Location: Cafe looking to meet interesting people Cult of the Divine Mother but don’t let that scare you 3. Name A.J. Looking for: Friends Location: Some gol durn place I’m gonna be honest with ya. Just lookin for somepony who can help me get back to Equestria.]

[yesyoucandate]

You Select 1. There is a harsh hiss of air, and in between one blink and the next, you are in the bright sunlight of a public park that you don’t recognize. A dog runs up to you, barking happily

“HEY YOU MUST BE FROM THE YES YOU CAN DATE THING HEY I’M BISKIT IMMA DOG LET’S HANG OUT THIS IS A PARK WE’RE IN A PARK THIS IS A PARK??? I DUNNO I’VE NEVER DONE A DATE!!!

Biskit sniffs around your ankles and generally in your vicinity as he slowly circles you. “Do you have any snacks???” You do not, indeed, have any snacks. You, also, have never been on a date. There’s only one thing to do... You rub frantically on your phone and look at the “Dating Advice” section of the app to see if it can help you figure out what the hell to actually do. [DATING ADVICE HAS BEEN SYNTHESIZED]

[yesyoucandate]

[DATING ADVICE HAS BEEN SYNTHESIZED]

A duck quacks and Biskit’s ears shoot up. He glances over his shoulder at you before he tears off after the duck “BE RIGHT BACK JUST HOLD ON A MINUTE OK I’LL BE RIGHT BACK!” And off he goes. Which is good. Because your app has just spewed out some stellar advice (you assume) from very talented and knowledgable daters (you also assume) Now, to select a course of action!