Your first task as one of us: FIND AND KILL YOUR BOYFRIEND, THE HERO LINK! MWAHAHAHAHA
Uh, no. That sounds like grunt work.
Do you have any idea who I am? I am the Rito Champion; I don't do low-level scoundral work.
Besides, I'm very busy at the moment. This secret base is utterly unusable. I tried to wash the sweat off of this blasted uniform using your bizaare 'washing machinery' - turns out you're not suposed to add bleach. How was I suposed to know that? Fortunatly it means that everyones ugly uniforms have turned rather a bright shade of pink and purple rather than the usual red and black- it's a major improvement if I do say so myself.
And since this whole building is so hidiuously drab, I figured I'd redecorate to match the new aesthetic. I can't possibly get any real work done staying in such a dark, dusty space like this, it's utterly miserably. A touch of glittery paint should do the job of opening up the space a bit. I even found one that glows in the dark - that'll make it more accessable to we Rito.
Oh and further more, the food here is repulsive. Everything the chef prepared was banana based; I can't stand the things. I took the liberty of freeing everyone from the vile slop by cancelling all of your banana orders and replacing them with an order for apples instead - the superior fruit. About ten thousand of them should arrive by tomorrow morning.
You're welcome, by the way.
