#zyran rambles

[desperatop]

a little life update!

trigger warning: pet loss, mental health struggles hey there, idk if anyone is still reading this but i thought i should explain my absence recently. i took a bit of a break from tumblr because my mental health wasn't doing well and it was pretty quiet around Seunghyun the last few weeks anyway (just like we are used to by now) and when i was finally doing better, my dog got incredibly sick and i had to say goodbye to him, which has completely shattered my life and my soul. he was my everything, my reason to get up in the morning, my emotional support and my best friend for the last 8 years. i still really don't know how to cope. but i don't wanna give up on this blog, posting my archive of ancient TOP pictures i gathered over the years gives my head something to do. (i have a hard drive filled with over 55k Big Bang pictures - i saved a lot of shit back in the day lol) and maybe i will find the strength to post some more stupid edits or gifs soon too. so basically, thanks for staying and i will keep posting~ (also, if you're ever looking for a specific TOP photo or video, maybe i can help!) by the way: somehow tumblr messed up my following/followers thing so i couldn't tell who was a mutual anymore and who wasn't so if you randomly see me following you again, it's because tumblr fucked up. but to be fair, i had my blog queued for deletion for a while, then regretted that decision and i had to ask them to give it back to me so that might have been why. sometimes i'm so stupid -_-'

[desperatop]

my TOPSX membership card arrived!! along with the two extra photocards that came with it :D it's so cute to have an official card with your name on it (it's under the red box lol). and while this was supposed to be a free gift, i paid way too much for the shipping (+ a customs fee) so was it worth it? definitely not, but i'm a victim of capitalism and a photocard collector.

these were all the official cards i was able to obtain during this comeback. first page has all the fanclub exclusives and the second has the regular ones.

i'm honestly glad that they are all professional photoshoots and not selfie ones that TOP took himself because while it would be hilarious, i would not enjoy buying only photocards that look like this:

but i guess there's always the next album release that could give us this bingu version :'D

[desperatop]

finally, the rest of my TOP SPOT albums arrived!! it took the TOPSX fanclub a whole month to get them to me but i expected that and ordered another set from ktown4u which arrived a week after the release just so i could have it in my hands sooner. (and i like to have backups of my favorite merch because some of my ancient bigbang stuff has started to fall apart now and i can't replace it because it's out of print and unavailable, which makes me sad. if you have some old bigbang or TOP merch for sale, hit me up!) the fanclub versions (CD and nfc) come with one photocard each, that's the five at the front. worth the extra money to me, because i collect photocards. if you don't care about photocards and got the regular versions, you didn't miss out on anything, since everything else is identical, except for the fact that the photocard nfc album from the fanclub has a slightly more purple hue, which looks like a printing error to my graphic designer eyes. lol also this is my new favorite photocard of all time:

he looks so shocked, as if he saw GD walk into the room during the photoshoot lmao. i wonder what he thought here. and i got my new TOP photocard collection its own binder from ultbias.com, which i can highly recommend if you want your collection protected for a long time! they had this adorable design of a bunny trying to fly to the moon. T^T♥ it was perfect for him. (his chinese zodiac is rabbit and he actually tried to go to the moon, aww.)

now they can all safely chill on my TOP shelf. (yes, i separated his stuff from bigbang's and g-dragon's lmao sue me.) i honestly still can't believe we have a whole solo album now, i started to ignore him whenever he would yapp about "releasing a solo album soon" because he's been saying this since 2009 or something. i still feel like i'm dreaming.