Life as an Autistic adult

  My name is Kells, I'm a 37 year old Autistic woman from Scotland.  

[takemebacktogallifrey]

Hello! I’m just back from spending a couple of days in London with Mum.  It’s the second time we’ve done this and I’ve definitely fallen in love with the city.  The amount of people was overwhelming, but I knew it would be so I was prepared for it.  We saw Hamilton for the second time on Monday (the day after my birthday as well) then spent yesterday doing one of the sightseeing bus tours which was excellent and I got to stand on Westminster Bridge and look at Big Ben :D  The travel there and back was bearable (12 hours on a bus each way overnight) I think because we used a different company than we did the first time.  They were more expensive but worth it.

I acquired a new soft friend while we were there too.  He’s a little plush corgi I’ve named George that mum bought for me.  I took him with me to the theatre and it was awesome because I was so excited about seeing the show again I was actually able to talk to people about him being my tiny corgi version of King George lol

Anyway, here he is, along with a pic of Sally Anne enjoying herself in London too :)

[takemebacktogallifrey]

You know what really annoys me about my depression, especially from an autistic point of view? that it completely robbed me of my ability to really read something.  Reading used to be a SpIn for me; I could spend hours reading a good book, sometimes whole days.  It was actually a joke in my family, that you were very lucky if you got to see me without a book in front of my face.

Then depression got hold of me (and a baaaad burnout but I didn’t know that at the time.)  I lost interest in reading anything, but I knew that could happen with depression.  What I didn’t know was, even 2 years on and with my mental health as good as it has been for a long time, that I’d never get that love of reading back.  2 years and I’ve never felt that need to just sit and lose myself in a book again.  If it takes me more than 10 minutes to read something I just can’t do it, and I hate that.

[spongebob-autisticquestions]

Autistic people are not being rude for prioritising their own needs over what could be an overloading social situation

[takemebacktogallifrey]

Soooooo I haven’t been around on here for a few days.  I got caught up in SpIn heaven working on my reborn dolls :D  I’ve literally just been spending six hours at a time working on them and it’s so much fun! It’s also definitely been a learning curve lol but I feel like I’m getting better with each doll I paint.  I’ll throw some pictures of them under the cut if anyone’s interested :D

First up is Samantha Rae, my first completed reborn.  She’s very much not perfect and I suspect I’ll want to strip her and redo her eventually, but for now I love her the way she is anyway.

Next up is Finn.  The first picture is him after I originally finished him.  I left him a couple of days then decided I hated how he looked, so I stripped all the paint off and started again.  The second picture is how he looks now, and I think he’s adorable.

And this little cutie is Matilda Jane, but we call her Mattie for short.  I’m really happy with how she turned out, even though you can tell I still need a lot more practice with eyebrows lol hers and Finn’s really aren’t that great.

[spongebob-autisticquestions]

You cannot claim to support autistic people if you shut down autism positivity

[xoaspiewriterxo]

Autistic people who get flappy, noisy, bouncy, when happy/excited are wonderful and shouldn’t have to act “normally”

[takemebacktogallifrey]

This is Bucky, he was my fish friend.  I brought him home almost exactly a year ago, and tonight he died.  He was a tiny little thing when I got him, less than half an inch long.  One of his gills was a bit messed up but it never stopped him from zooming around his tank, or growing 4 times the size he was to start with.  He loved to chase my finger if I stuck it in the water, and he got really good at jumping to take his food from my fingers.

He loved trying to fight his own reflection because he thought it was another fish.  He’d do excited little wiggles and tail swishes when I walked in my room, like he was happy flapping in his own fishy way.  I love him and I’ll miss him forever.  He was a good fish.

[takemebacktogallifrey]

Been working on Samantha Rae again most of today.  She’s really starting to look like an actual baby now.  I did end up having to strip a couple of layers of paint off her limbs though.  I’d done a mottling layer earlier that ended looking a bit too much on her arms and legs; I thought some flesh layers over it might help to balance it out a bit but it didn’t help much, so I’ve stripped enough that the mottling is still there but it’s toned down now.

No progress pics today because getting the mottling wrong annoyed me.  I keep having to remind myself this is my first go at this and I’m bound to get things wrong.  

[takemebacktogallifrey]

I started working on Samantha Rae today! First picture was just after I started, she’d had one wash of mint colour paint to neutralise the vinyl colour a bit.  The second pic was after the beginnings of complexion layers and a little bit of veining.  Third pic is after a few more complexion layers and a tiny bit of shading in her creases.  There’s still a long way to go but my baby’s slowly coming to life.  Today has been a great day :D

[takemebacktogallifrey]

I haven’t even started properly working on Samantha Rae yet (I did start mixing paint colours for her today though) and I’ve already ordered my next reborn kit lol this one’s definitely going to be a boy.  His kit name is Charlie, but I haven’t decided what his actual name will be yet.  Might wait until he gets here but he’ll definitely be named before I start painting him.

[takemebacktogallifrey]

I decided it was about time I had a little information about myself on the blog.  If you’d like to read it you can find it here

[takemebacktogallifrey]

on a related note, the reborn doll I’m waiting to start working on now has a middle name as well.  Her name’s Samantha Rae.

[takemebacktogallifrey]

I hate the feeling I get when I’m waiting to start doing something.  I get agitated and bouncy and can’t get my brain to focus on anything but that one thing.  The NTs talk about people having one track minds but that’s literally what it’s like.  The only thing I want to do is that particular thing but I can’t yet and it’s frustrating.

[takemebacktogallifrey]

Today hasn’t been a great day.  Nothing bad in particular happened, but I’ve had a lingering low mood all day that feels like it’s only just starting to lift.  It scares me a bit when that happens, it was only a few weeks ago that my depression hit me hard again, leading to needing to increase my anti depressant dose because I do not want to feel like that again.  I’m hoping today was just a blip, or that I’ll figure out something set my mood off.

Rough day, but things are improving.

[takemebacktogallifrey]

I haven’t even started working on my reborn doll Samantha yet and I’ve already got a list of other kits I want.  And I’ve been lurking on every reborn artist forum I can find, picking up any tips that might help me.  At this point I think just learning about reborning has become a SpIn for me, separate from my dolls SpIn.

[autismawesomeness]

That Autism feel when

You can feel an old special interest coming back!

[jessequick]

The Eleventh Hour // Kerblam!