Just a dumb fat bitch

[thatdumbfatbitch]

I don't want attention anymore

I never want to feel like this again...

[thatdumbfatbitch]

He fucked me better on the first go than you ever did when given instruction. Just goes to prove you never cared about what I wanted and I'll never forgive you for pretending I mattered.

[thatdumbfatbitch]

I downloaded bumble way sooner than I'm ready to just in hopes of finding someone to distract me from how much I long to be the one you hold at night.

[thatdumbfatbitch]

I can never tell you how I'd go to the end of the earth for you because your heart belongs to her.

And yet I watch as she barely seems to even notice your presence or how you'd burn the world down just to see her smile.

[thatdumbfatbitch]

I just want to run into your arms and never let go...

But you belong to her.

[perfectquote]

“Be with someone who will take care of you. Not materialistically, but take care of your soul, your well being, your heart.”

— Unknown

[thatdumbfatbitch]

Laying in bed next to the man whose heart I'm going to break in less than a week and my brain decides now is the appropriate time to fantasize about 2 men having their way with me, one praising and one degrading. And I should be thinking of neither in that way for so many more reasons than just my current relationship.

What a dumb fucking brain.

[thatdumbfatbitch]

Stolen glances at a distance cannot convey how desperately I want to feel your hands on my skin and your lips pressed against my own.

[thatdumbfatbitch]

Told my friend how bad my headspace was getting.

That I started skipping meals again and that I sh for the first time in years.

I told him because I knew he'd know how to stop me from letting it all take over.

He knows I can't break a promise so he made me promise to eat. I refused to promise that I'd call him the next time I got the urge to silence the screaming though because I can't stop that when it gets that bad.

But since I promised I'd eat I have regularly told him "fuck you for making me promise to eat"😂

[thatdumbfatbitch]

If only we'd met under ideal circumstances

Maybe then I'd stand a chance to feel your skin and taste your lips

[thatdumbfatbitch]

Me: *having an existential breakdown at work*

Also me: *sees that one coworker with his sleeves rolled up and immediately has to walk away because FUCK*

[thatdumbfatbitch]

I can read you like pages of a comic book

But I must be written in a long dead tongue because you never seem to understand anything about me

[thatdumbfatbitch]

It doesn't matter that I'm an open book because I'm written in a language he doesn't understand

[thatdumbfatbitch]

I'm so fucking tired of talking about the God damned problem!

There is no talking this out, just do fucking better!

[perfectquote]

“The soul always knows what to do to heal itself, the challenge is to silence the mind.”

— Book of serenity

[thatdumbfatbitch]

Pero que pendejo es mi corazon

[thatdumbfatbitch]

That dark humor making my heart feel alive😭