My sweetest girl,
Dont wait for it to happen. Dont wait for that boy to come sauntering into to your life before your life is magical and YOURS. roll up your sleeves and get to work. Take the trash out. water the succulents on your window sill, sweep the balcony. dry your laundry, put your heart into some piercing lyrics and grab a body spray as a mic. dance till you drop. laugh. design your dream apartment. Go to IKEA and pick out the exact textures of your couch, a slutty side table, your bed, a pretty desk chair. some cute cushions. a cozy pillow. Go on virtual dates with your besties accross the globe. Eat chips for dinner. Eat chicken and rice for breakfast. Paint a mural. Paint a canvas. Get a friend to meet you at the mall to do the most mundane stuff. Own your story. Publish that poetry. Smile at strangers. Speak to strangers. Take a walk to the park with your favorite book. Write poetry. good poetry. Full poetry. Crappy poetry. Make your childhood self cry. Draw your friends out like constellations on a world map. Ask your friend what she cooked for dinner and if her exams went well. Ask your other friend when her baby is to be born. Ask yet another friend if she got that job she wanted. Pray. Pray alot. Ask god to carry you through the storms. Wake up in the last third of the night. Pray again. Listen to podcasts. Laugh. Feel. Call a counsellor. Cry. Reveal. Sit with your emotions. Quick shower every night before bed and make a ritual out of peace and safety. I know your head is a mess but go clean your room and make it safe. you deserve good things even when greater things are still on their way. Go to the grocery store. Buy those crossaints and those sour squirms. Stay with the anxiety. Dont bypass it. Dont bypass sadness either. Or fear. Or grief. Or anger. Or shame. Be a mother. To yourself. To the girl you once were and still are. Write down your nightly visions in a dream journal. Make it a memento. Walk to the mosque. Pray with people. Pray alone. Come back home. Call your friends. Check in on their hopes. Make your life YOURS.
