thegnomeinyourcloset

chilling in your closet | hiding your socks | pursuing mischief

[the-thing-of-worms]

People hate me for how prone I am to wandering off and also my ass is fat

[thegnomeinyourcloset]

is it from all the wandering?

[pukicho]

Do you think you can survive being hit by a freight train?

Ask the six dead freight trains who tried

[notahorseindisguise]

why the fuck is having your eyes move around randomly important for sleepjng

[thegnomeinyourcloset]

what do you suggest? Lay around motionless, vividly hallucinating without rapidly moving your eyes around??

[homunculus-argument]

The masculine urge to be genuinely surprised when a woman who is taller than you is also heavier than you. Like the fuck you mean y'all aren't just made of wren down and lemon meringue?

[broteampill-deactivated20200407]

[bacardis-leghair]

mutuals stop putting this on my dash challenge

[the-worm-man]

Every Friday. Every Friday i either see this post or live in fear of seeing it. I can’t wake up and say ‘it’s friday’ anymore without thinking of this post. I am living a nightmare and it’s your fault

[dyke-uncle]

Thank Gnome it’s Friday! Lol

[garden-gno-thanks]

thank gnome it’s Friday….

[hypotheticalpeople]

guy who plays albums on mute, it was never really about sound for him as much as feeling a sense of progression through a series of named durations

[holy-leapin-splits-batman]

[argumate]

so hard to find these guys

[uncuteartist]

Love how their method of locomotion on land is trundling while also oozing over the terrain

[bogleech]

I love that I can say "watch out! They can sting you" about this thingy

[the-haiku-bot]

I love that I can

say “watch out! They can sting you”

about this thingy

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[lezuzu]

uhhh, yeah. post your WORST uncles RIIIIGHT here. 👇

[pokkin]

I once had an Uncle named Forsooth who had a wicked scythe he would strike into the land and black ichor would pour forth I once had an uncle named Listerine who would stay still for years at a time so we'd bury him then he'd sue us I currently have an Uncle named Tyrant Lord, more terrible than the rest, who ate all of my uncles except for Yub Gubby, who is destined to one day free his brothers

[amateur-wizard]

i have an uncle named brian and hes kinda racist

[thegnomeinyourcloset]

i recently tried to get into making wooden rings but don't have the equipment for it. So now anytime i see a machine made circular object a part of me is envious of its roundness

[thegnomeinyourcloset]

Aside and beside mean the same thing, but seaside suddenly means something different. Who's fault is this?

[thegnomeinyourcloset]

and the decide is again something else. I'm starting to get angry at the english

[thegnomeinyourcloset]

Aside and beside mean the same thing, but seaside suddenly means something different. Who's fault is this?

[wise-old-wizard-and-also-lawyer]

I HAVE MY ACCOUNT BACK THANKK GOD FOR TUMBLR SUPPORT

[thegnomeinyourcloset]

Can I have your account next?

[power-handmaiden]

getting on my library's hold list for The Big Lebowski so I will have proper context for an important piece of literature that released recently (The Big Lebuttski)

[thegnomeinyourcloset]

French beach version: The big Le Jet-Ski

[avagarde]

It’s so unfair i don’t get to see where evolution will go in 50 million years

[avagarde]

Ooooh I'm so excited!

[homunculus-argument]

Fun fact: if you, as an adult, tell miserable children that their youth is the best that life will ever be, and that it's all just downhill from there, there's a percentage of them who will hear this and think "well, I guess I better kill myself before that happens." And a certain percentage of those will proceed to do that and succeed.

Anyway what I'm saying is that any time you feel tempted to say that, you should instead consider shutting the fuck up. Just because you peaked at 16 doesn't mean anyone else did. Most peoples' lives get better than that.

[pukicho]

You are not "three apples tall" bitch you are an evil ghoul and you are tall as fuck

[thegnomeinyourcloset]

they're tall apples???

[thegnomeinyourcloset]