[Insert a Creative Title Here]

20-year-old pansexual asshole with they/them pronouns~ I mostly just reblog shit tbh and I tag things on request (but I'll usually tag things that are Extremely Uncomfortable) HMU whenever about whatever~

[buzzfeed]

This Baby Was Born With The Exact White Streak In Her Hair As Her Mother

[el-kabongjr]

Baby Rouge

[idiopathicsmile]

chicago gothic

A fear lurks in the back of your mind, ever-present, that someday someone will realize you are the sole resident who is not yet a member of at least one improv group. For now you are safe, but you know the day will come

It is fifty outside but forty by the lake. It is forty outside but zero by the lake. It is freezing outside but the lake has never known love nor sun nor laughter, and all who gaze upon it forget they were ever born. You should probably dress in layers today.

Your friend asks you to meet them at the Walgreens on Broadway. You fail to ask which one. In the end, really, what isn’t a Walgreens?

You order a pizza. The pizza comes. It is much too deep. “Use a fork” a friend whispers, like this is not insane. You pick up your fork. You bring it down into the pizza. Your fork moves through sauce, through cheese, through crust, but it doesn’t stop. The pizza is still going. You cannot be certain an end will ever come. You cannot remember how you got here. The pizza is just so deep. You begin to cry, softly. You ask the waiter if there is anything else on the menu. The waiter accuses you of being from New York.

[tom-nippleston]

The people in the apartment below me are playing “Never Have I Ever” and I’m smoking on my porch creeping on their game

[tom-nippleston]

Guy 1: Never have I ever INTIONALLY walked in on my parents having sex Gal 1: fuck you brandon! It wasn’t intentional! I didn’t know what they were doing!!! Brandon (Guy 1): Shut up Katy no one is THAT oblivious take your drink

[tom-nippleston]

Katy: Never have I ever LOST a wet tshirt contest

(Good job Katy. You do you. Proud of you boo)

[tom-nippleston]

Gal 2: Never have I ever pierced my genitals Brandon: IT WAS IN FOR LIKE A MONTH! Katy: Whatever bitch, take a drink you Prince Albert having douche Brandon: I’m being singled out I hate you all

[tom-nippleston]

Guy 2: Never have I ever had a threescore [Pause] Guy 2: WHAT THE FUCK KATY?!?!?!?! Katy: Shut up Andrew it’s before we even knew each other this was years ago!!! [Pause] Andrew: And you won’t even watch porn with me…

(the family is disintegrating)

[tom-nippleston]

Brandon: Never have I ever been in such a confrontational game of Never Have I Ever….

[People saying ‘cheers’]

(stop fighting guys you’re tearing this family apart…..)

[tom-nippleston]

Andrew: Never have I ever had sex WITH a piece of food. [Pause] Andrew: Dude Brandon: Dude Katy: Dude omg Gal 2: what? Omg EVERY girl has practiced giving head with a banana! Katy: Um no Ester. SOME of us just practice on dicks. Ester: what the fuck though. Whatever.

(Don’t let them kink shame you Ester I still love you)

[tom-nippleston]

#TeamEster #BananaSplits

[tom-nippleston]

Andrew is testing a banana. Go for it andrew. Explore your wild side #TeamEster #TeamKink

[tom-nippleston]

Brandon: Never have I ever been called a fuckboy Katy and Andrew: TO YOUR FACE Brandon: Go fuck a banana Andrew

#TeamBananaFucking

[tom-nippleston]

Ester: Never have I ever had a crush on a family member Brandon: [random fumbling noises] Katy: brandon omg ew Andrew: yeah man come the fuck on wtf man its 2016 Brandon: SHE WAS MY COUSIN AND I WAS 13 IT’S NOT LIKE SHE WAS MY SISTER AND IT WAS JUST A CRUSH NOTHING HAPPENED Ester: methinks thou dost protest too fucking much Brandon: NEVER TELLING YOU SHIT AGAIN Andrew: Chug your drink, Sir IncestsALot Brandon: Chug a fucking banana Andrew

#TeamBananaFucking #TeamWhatTheFuckBrandon

[tom-nippleston]

Katy and Andrew have gone home in an Uber to apparently sex it up. Alway use a designated driver, kids. And always put protection on your Banana.

#BananaCreamPie #GamesOverKids #TeamEster

[hotmenandotherdistractions]

This is spectacular.

[banji-effect]

[pez-uzi-deactivated20160424]

Places where reality is a bit altered:

• any target • churches in texas • abandoned 7/11’s • your bedroom at 5 am • hospitals at midnight • warehouses that smell like dust • lighthouses with lights that don’t work anymore • empty parking lots • ponds and lakes in suburban neighborhoods • rooftops in the early morning • inside a dark cabinet

[solareveille]

playgrounds at night

rest stops on highways

deep in the mountains

[ghostfiish]

early in the morning wherever it’s just snowed

trails by the highway just out of earshot of traffic

schools during breaks

those little beaches right next to ferry docks

bowling alleys

[genesisdoes-moved]

unfamiliar mcdonalds on long roadtrips

your friends living room once everybody but you is asleep

laundromats at midnight

[coolpepcat-deactivated20190924]

what the fuck

[ringingofraevolution]

galeries in art museums that are empty except for you 

the lighting section of home depot

stairwells

[doomgeneration1995]

•hospital waiting rooms •airports from midnight to 7am • bathrooms in small concert venues

[midtownsparker]

I just got the weirdest feeling I swear

[fuks]

[themightyfossa]

me: man i love people maybe i'm not as introverted as i thought, i can be around people forever

me exactly one hour later: no

[nevver]

Lego

[thememacat]

Most of these are recognizable …!

[valeria2067]

At first, I thought they were pixelated nude versions of each artwork. Oops.

[hahajb]

[suigintou]

wait is 5! = 120 an actual math thing i just reblogged it bc i sincerely believe that yelling a number makes it bigger 

[bunyipandler]

An exclamation point after a number means factorial. Five factorial is 5 times 4 times 3 times 2 times 1. Three factorial is 3 times 2 times 1, etc.

[maeamian]

But the more exclamation points after a number, the less big it is, a double factorial is every other number, so 6!! is 6 times 4 times 2, which is less than 6!, So yelling a number makes it bigger, but yelling louder makes it smaller again

[dragongirltitties]

it’s because you scared it

[ruinedchildhood]

[holybazookas]

[deconsecration-deactivated20170]

i’m a good person i don’t deserve to be mistaken for a heterosexual

[boukjex]

[samwilsondsfsdfsdhfg-deactivate]

the best kind of bird are the really short and fat ones. i love them 

[ghostyjpg-remade-blog]

[samwilsondsfsdfsdhfg-deactivate]

!!!!! beautiful!! this is the best bird in the world!!!!!!!! 

[gloomydude-deactivated20150419]

[son-of-rap-bear]

It doesn’t end there:

[funimationentertainment]

another addition

[cs-inactive1-deactivated2020060]

do you ever just like. feel unbelievably proud of someone you’d never even heard of previously

[eroscestlavie]

oh my god

[asapscience]

Joke via badsciencejokes

[badsciencejokes]

Awesome doodle via @asapscience

[seedling]

it is actually really sweet when someone stays up late to talk to you

[bigmoose690]

What if they fall asleep by accident though?

[bigbutt-nobuts]

then you love it even more because they stayed up even though they were dead tired just to talk to you ya doof