Since the lack of RWBY is strong in my emotions, I took a dive into the good ol’ tag to see what sort of OCs people had come up with. I mean, I know I could never make one; I’d get too lost staring at a scythe, telling myself how it’s logical and illogical.
[TW: Rape] [TW: Kidnapping]
I’d admire your iPhone to bits if I didn’t have a history of hating them, but nice piece of technology you have there; you might want to put a case on that thing if you’re going to carry that around in the RWBY-verse. Do they even have phones like that?
I found someone who actually criticized the first RWBY oc I have. Well, I going to agree with all of this, seeing how stupid I am when it comes to crossover, but I stop that crossover and made a new story with the same oc, but different kind of style. His race and weapon are changed, but his Bio needs a little adjusting. The fan fiction also changes, calling it, master of death. I don’t care if you like this new fan fiction or not. I need people like him/her to criticized my work, so I can fixed whatever mistakes I made.
I thank the person here to notice my work, and thank you for anyone who ‘actually’ read this stupid post I made.
Holy Naga; I almost had a mini heart attack seeiNG THIS--
I hope you don’t mind me replying to this, by the way.
I don’t think you’re stupid when it comes to crossovers, though. While I’m still not familiar with the DMC series, all that was really needed was explanations for the details. Which is why I often make it a point to tell people that no OC is bad, or stupid, or anything negative; they just need reasons for what they have. When I critique, I look to make sure the things others would immediately criticize have an explanation before jumping to conclusions.
If you’d like, I’ll gladly go over the new information. It’ll probably take me some time ‘cause school has consumed my soul, but I’m more than willing to help you with anything you need.
As far as I know, it’s just me and Big Daddy (Did you change your nickname, bruh? I think you changed your nickname.) on this blog now. I have very little contact with the other two mods now, since school is out for the summer, but they never posted anything to begin with, so I don’t know what they’re even doing anymore.
On my end, though, I’ve been dealing with…er, some kind of emotional/mental instability since January, and it’s been making it extremely difficult to do most of the things I enjoyed doing beforehand, this blog being one of them.
[Now it’s going to get personal, so feel free to stop reading here and skip to the last paragraph if you don’t want how I’ve been for the past 7 months or so.]
My Hiro blog has probably been hit with this the hardest, with there being over 40 drafts and a severe lack of a drive to follow through with them because of the even greater lack of a belief that people still care. This blog isn’t being hit with it as much, but it’s still getting it, to some extent. Like, my techniques and information is still here, but the same block or whatever that Hiro is getting is…like, half there, compared to Hiro.
At this point, I’m not entirely sure what to do. I started getting back to this blog, at least, right before Anime Expo (which I went to so hit me up if you went and we can scream together yolo it up bruh), but AX killed whatever drive I had left with the same thoughts that no one cared anymore.
To keep this from becoming a novel, though: Yes, this blog is still active, but its activity is going to be extremely slow until I can find some kind of a way to bring my self-confidence back up to a…livable level. Taking a break from things would make it even worse, since that’s what started this whole thing to begin with, so I just…don’t know what to do.
[I know too much, and I tend to forget I know too many things that are actually spoilers for people, so consider this a spoiler alert. Tread carefully, please.]
I’m not linking the picture; I just can’t do it. I don’t fee--
-- Is that firebending? There’s firebending in my science? There’s not supposed to be firebending in my science; it’s just not allowed. It’s never allowed ‘cause it’s magic, and magic isn’t allowed in a world where magic doesn’t even exist.
Well, if Fred’s fire has an explanation, then I bet yours does, too.
Name: Skyler Elizabeth Morrison
Super Hero name: "FireBall/ Icecycle
Wepons:
Gloves: Her own invention, controled by brain aves
Clearly I’m dumb as all hell, ‘cause I have to admit I have no idea what you mean by that without an explanation. How are you getting your mind to control your gloves? Are they using the same material (or concept, really) that Hiro’s microbots used?
With your age and that possibility there, you sound like a rather gifted individual. I can only question what this actually means.
and her necklace controles the two elements that come out either fire or ice.
That, my lovely, is called magic, not science. San Fransokyo doesn’t have any ounce of magic in it unless you’re working with a Madoka Magica AU like I am. You’re not working with a Madoka Magica AU, are you? Please don’t hurt Hiro if you are; that’s my job. To use elements, they must be connected to the suit in some way (ie. Fred + flamethrower inside his suit = his fire), and those connections must be logical and...well, not involving magic at all.
Dress: Black with red orange yellow and white fire desinges (that glow when fire is in use) and botton is singed
Leggings: Dark redish brown
Boots: Black with red and orange fire desinges and orange backings shaped like fire
Helmate: Red with fire patters.
Personality: Sweet, very intelagent, stobborn, brave, quick, agile, stelthy, funny, and artistic
Well, let’s see here... -- Brave, quick, agile, stealthy, funny, and artistic aren’t even personality traits. Quick and agile are also synonyms, so why put “quick” there twice? I’d add to this personality trait list, though; emotions and intelligence don’t exactly make up a well-developed character when you only use them.
Family: None but lives with her "brother" Fred.
Brother, you say? Don’t get me wrong, though; I have nothing against being related to canon characters. Actually, I love when OCs are related to canon characters. I can’t express my love for them enough. What I don’t understand is why that has to be in quotation marks. Honey, if you’re related to a canon character, you don’t need to hide any of that stuff; I’ll always love it.
Crushes: Hiro
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!HOO BO Y PROTECT THE AN G EL FROM WHAT MY BRAIN CANNOT PROC E S S--
...Excuse me.
As long as it keeps Hiro in character and doesn’t make him out of character, then there’s no problem with this. I’m very...er, weird when it comes to OCs shipped with Hiro. This is what my Hiro-mun powers have done to me.
Age: 15 (same as Hiro)
My Hiro-mun powers have given me information to contradict this. Hiro is, in fact, fourteen, not fifteen. I got the BH6 manga today and I’d take a picture of that clarification so I could put it here for you, but I think my phone is dead. My bad. I actually don’t have any Hiro-mun powers, though; I just run off of Madoka Magica AUs and a ton of angst.
History: Her parents died when she was young
From what? Murder? Disease? Car crash? How old was she when they died? How did this affect her? Killing off parents, especially at such a supposedly young age, comes with a price, and I see none of that here.
and she moved in with Fred (her best friend at the time).
No family to turn to? With the lack of an explanation for it, though, I can smell a legal matter rising. I mean, you can’t just take someone in without explaining exactly how that went down, and why she didn’t have any family to turn to to take her in.
She started going to school at the highschool and that is where she met the others.
SFIT is a college, not a high school. I’m pretty sure Tadashi is nineteen, so what would he be doing at a high school if he was nineteen?
Exactly. Only Hiro would make sense in that kind of a setting out of context and with his correct age, and it would still be inaccurate. Didn’t he graduate high school at thirteen?
Alright, let's see what happened while I died internally for the past two months:
I may or may not have made a new YouTube channel, if any of you had found the other one(s).
I may or may not have also, for you Big Hero 6 lovelies, overanalyzed Hiro to the point of making a logical Meguca bio.
My overanalyzation may or may not be extremely strong right about now.
I'm still terrified of Five Nights at Freddy's. I know the third game came out a couple days ago, but any questions regarding OCs for that will never be answered by me. Ask literally anyone but me on this blog.
I'm doing Camp NaNoWriMo, and I'm not going on hiatuses this time around. You're all stuck with my fried brain; fight me.
I also say "fight me" a lot.
Add "bruh" to that list.
Bruh, fight me.
I plan on getting back into things immediately; that's a promise. I'm sorry for randomly leaving for a while, but I'm back now. I never really left, though, if you guys found my RP blog, buuuuuuuut...
Do the ocs that you review have to belong to a fandom, or can they be from an original story?
Yooo, original stories? This is my thiiiiiing, like…no joke. As long as there’s enough information for me to go off of to critique the character, then I’ll gladly do that critique.
But seriously, though; original stories. NaNoWriMo flashbacks. Oh, the memories.
I apologize, dear Anon asking about Hunger Games OCs, but I have absolutely no knowledge of that series, and I have half a mind to believe the rest of the mods don't, either. I'll keep the ask there, though, just in case that changes, but I can't do anything for that anytime soon.
Unfortunately, and I hate having to say this, but that might have to be a no. I, personally, know of the series, but my knowledge of it is extremely slim, so I'd either have to watch it before I get to the critique or go solely off of its wiki. Unless I can get help from an outside source...
I might have to get back to you on that one, but it's a rather flimsy no at the moment. Are any of the other mods familiar with this series, though?
How would go about making a BH6 oc without making a Marysue?
Ah, yes; the sole question that I waited in the shadows to answer! I thank thee, my lovely.
Enrolling in college at fourteen isn't a common occurrence. Hiro is given this exception with the kid prodigy trope and graduating high school at thirteen, but the fact that he's the main character doesn't make it logical for every fourteen year old in San Fransokyo to enroll in SFIT as well without a reason behind it besides passing it off as "Just like Hiro." This undermines Hiro's entire position in the series.
--To add to that: If the kid prodigy trope is used, differentiate their situation from Hiro's.
Magic =/= science. This isn't a dimension of magic; it's San Francisco and Japan's love child. Science is the basis for what Hiro and the others use to fight, and it's always been science. Magic is not an option.
Now, I swear this isn't my "I RP Hiro now shush" instinct kicking in, but, if your OC has feelings for Hiro, make it logical. Would he feel the same way? Would he even pay attention to their feelings with all he has on his mind, grieving and superhero antics aside? I, personally, don't think he'd even be interested in a relationship for a long while, but that's just a headcanon of mine; feel free to tread those waters as you wish as long as it's logical.
--This is probably how it would be for any character, actually, but still; as long as it's logical, go for it.
Finally, deaths happen in this series for a reason, and they're not taken lightly, especially in Hiro's perspective. Characters are dead for a reason, and said characters must stay that way. If it's an AU, though, that's a different story.
I feel like I'm missing 50 different things, and I probably am; I apologize. Please send me another ask with something specific if I missed it!
I am avoiding responsibilities. Ol' NecoJi here is avoiding responsibilities. Yup, you got that right; I'll be critiquing on here long through the supposed virtual storm, if I'm able to.
So, if you have a Big Hero 6 OC that you're iffy on and would like a critique, go ahead and send 'em my way. I'm the only one on the blog at the moment, but it shouldn't be that way for too long, if I can help it.
[SPOILER ALERT: This movie has a major spoiler within the first 18 or so minutes of it, and this OC's bio talks about it. If you haven't seen Big Hero 6, please do not read this critique until you see it. And I recommend seeing it with a burning passion; I really do.]
To be honest, I'm still in denial that Big Hero 6 is a Disney movie. You sure that feelings spree wasn't made by Shaft? You sure about that? Now, I don't exactly know what came over me, but I had half a mind to search for some BH6 OCs to critique. I mean, why not, right?
[While I'm linking the picture anyway, I don't feel right putting the picture here with the big watermark it has at the top. Click on the first link, then go back to reading this critique, please.]
Kumi Strawberry
Age: 14
"Sometimes a normal girl, sometimes a secret spy."
I bet you can tell who I am now in this fandom with the Kisaragi Shintaro icons; I swear this wasn't intentional.
And here I was, about to start going off on some tangent about the hair being too long, but then I remembered this isn't a Shingeki no Kyojin OC. And I actually questioned why I'm getting to this critique first.
Hello, minna! Here's the information of my newest oc for "Big Hero 6", the movie!
-- Are there multiple? Do you have multiple OCs for this fandom?
Full Name: Kumi Strawberry
Age: 14
Personality: Fearless, A little shy, kind, funny, talented (in dancing, singing, breakdancing, with all types of martial arts and flying),
Just this alone needs to be either toned down a bit or explained, because it definitely isn't explained.
First off, wouldn't being fearless and shy kind of contradict each other? Not only that, but being a talented dancer, singer, breakdancer, martial artist in every type of it, and...well, yeah. Unless these have an explanation, they all need to be toned down a lot.
Personally, though, I don't even see the need for so many talents at the age of fourteen. Unless you have the kid prodigy trope like Hiro does, and I kind of hope you don't, since that would undermine his entire position in the series, then this is absolutely impossible to accomplish at that age, even if you spend every minute of every day working on such talents to improve them And she wouldn't even have that if she's a secret spy, right?
super smart (she has got an IQ of 236),
-- Doesn't that undermine Hiro's entire existence? I mean, being the kid that graduated high school at thirteen is kind of his thing; literally no one surpasses that. The main weapon of the series was created by a fourteen year old kid. Superheroes were created to stop said weapon's user with the main help of a fourteen year old kid.
Even if she's extremely smart, that high of an IQ is far above genius level.
mysterious, a little cute, discrete, brave, a total dreamer, super fast
Not only is only one of these personality traits actually a personality trait, but that one personality trait (AKA brave) has already been stated in this list as fearless. Well, it's the same thing in my eyes, at least.
Looks: Mikuru Natsuki's hairstyle (buy in black, with royal blue highlights),
I have no idea who this even is, so let's look them up.
[This was taken from this character's wiki page, I believe.]
Now, I'm already one that's against describing a character's looks by comparing them to other characters, so couldn't this just have been explained as something like, "Medium-length black hair with bangs swept to their left side and two pigtails on each side?" I mean, I'm not the best at appearance descriptions, but still; what's the point in using other characters to describe what your OC looks like?
purple Baby Monster jacket (from the girl of PriPara, the one who wears the clothes of the brand Baby Monster),
I...don't know who that is either.
[This is from the PriPara Wiki, I think...?]
Do you mean this, though? I didn't even know either of these series existed, so I can't figure out what's what from this picture and the OC's picture. Forgive me for this one if you wish to, but I have no idea about this particular description aspect.
dark blue three quarters jeans, black combat boots, ocean blue eyes, pink pale skin, triple sapphire necklace
Family:
Selene (Older Sister)
Sakura (Mother)
Mimino (Grandmother)
Daisuke (Cousin)
Crush: Hiro Hamada (shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!! it's ultra secret! I can only know it. )
Oh, don't worry about it, bud; my Hiro muse is far too busy plotting my ultimate demise to even want to know about this crush.
Would Hiro even want to know about this crush, though? I mean, he's only fourteen; his main hobby up until Tadashi's death is gambling in bot fighting and getting arrested or beat up for it, then he's too busy being in a group of superheroes.
Call this just my mun instinct kicking in, but I didn't put a relationship option on my blog for that muse for a reason; I don't see him even being interested in such a topic as romance before, during, or maybe even after the events of BH6, nor having it cross his mind that often. With the emotional aspect that Tadashi's death forced upon him aside, when would he have time for romance?
...Yeah, that has to be my mun instinct kicking in or something; excuse me.
Bio: A girl with a lot of intelligence and a little bit of shyness,
You mean the intelligence that surpasses the levels of a genius by far and the shyness trait that contradicts her fearless trait.
Kumi Strawberry is a mysterious girl who is also known on her alter ego, known as "Amethyst", a secret famous
Wouldn't "secret" and "famous" contradict each other as well?
electric guitarist that is very well known in the city where she was born.
Which was where, now? I don't think this is stated in this bio.
With her super IQ of 236, she's capable of solving any problem, no matter what difficulty has got the problem.
Once again, this IQ needs to be a lot lower than...that. What's the average genius IQ again, Big Daddy?
Yo B.D. comming in to shed a little light on the IQ of this one. By modern human standards that is kind of impossible. Due to the normal AVERAGE IQ of any given individual being 100 give or take 15. A genius is around 180 or so I would say and even Hiro wouldn't be higher than that. Yes this is a different place in a fictional world, but at the same time it's still kind of well unbelievably impossible unless the average person, lets say aunt cass can be just as smart as the hiro and rival him in the lab.
As for her fearless and brave attitude, she's always loyal to the ones they love her. She would even give her life to save someone, no matter what.
When someone needs help, she might do the impossible to help her friends and her family. and obviously, her crush too! she is trying to hide her eternal crush on none other than Hiro Hamada.
Buddy, please; if you have a crush on the broken genius dorkface Hiro, of all people, then I hope you're not expecting him to recognize your feelings for him or something with all the despair stuff he has on his agenda.
he was Kumi's best friend during their childhood. Though, in that moment, she started to have a crush on him. But, since the death of his brother, who it was her friend too, she didn't wanted to annoy him that time.
Well, he kind of became Kisaragi Shintaro locked himself up in his room after Tadashi died, so I don't think you'd have been able to even reach him.
But her heart is ordering her to cheer him up.
-- Cheer him up?
What would you even do, though? Tadashi was practically the world to him, and his younger brother was left to burden the guilt of not stopping him from running to his death. Tadashi's death was the sole reason Hiro almost murdered a man with his brother's own creation. Unless you have a way to resurrect the dead, then you're not going to cheer him up.
So, this time, she will do the impossible until she has the right time to tell her crush to him!
A sad part of her life, was losing her father, when she had 5 years old, who died because of a bad disease. But she knows that she has the rest of her family and her friends, so she keeps smiling now!
What disease, though? There's plenty of fatal diseases. Also, shouldn't her father's name be stated under the family tab? Just because he's now deceased, that doesn't mean he doesn't exist. I mean, Tadashi's name is still on Hiro's family tree.
and beware of her speed, too! no matter what, she won't lose to anybody!
Lose at what, now? Running?
and a last thing of her, she's totally friendly, and loves to help other people. So don't be scared to talk to her!
Oh, why does this sound like the description of a RP blog to me? Why?
