A trip down memory lane to the world’s highest tea plantation.

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A trip down memory lane to the world’s highest tea plantation.
Goodreads 2017 - My Year in Books
Total Books Read – 63 Total Pages Read – 21,296 Average Rating – 4.6
2017, the year that delightfully declared Lying Cat as its official mascot, takes the mantle of being my most productive year, in terms of books read. I ended up devouring a total of 63 books!
‘The wind held its breath.’ These were the words that greeted me to the New Year and I couldn’t have asked for a better start to 2017 than Dawn of Wonder. It was a thoroughly enthralling, coming-of-age fantasy story, drawing some parallels to Harry Potter, Name of the Wind and Blood Song.
As usual, a significant portion of my reading time was devoted to fantasy. Brian McClellan’s Promise of Blood is the closest any book has come to Sanderson’s in terms of style, and I found a lot of parallels - magic system, rebel uprising, and action sequences. The cult classic, The Princess Bride was a love letter to the fantasy genre, and had everything you could possibly want in a fantasy novel - epic duels in picturesque locations, good natured giants, dreaded pirates, a brave hero, a beautiful heroine, and a dashing villain. Thanks to a friend’s recommendation, I read the first two books of the Conqueror series ( Genghis: Birth of an Empire and Genghis: Lords of the Bow), a brutal, and equally breathtaking retelling of Genghis Khan’s rise to power. Once Goodreads announced its new feature to track re-reads, I did a thorough revision of three of my most favorite series - Stormlight Archive, Lord of the Rings, and Red Rising. After readingstudying The Silmarillion, I get promotion from Casual Tolkienite to Advanced Tolkienite in Tolkienology.
I stuck gold with my Discworld selections this year. Before the dwarves come with their axes at the mention of gold, let me get this straight. While I have enjoyed my share of Discworld novels, I don’t always get truly connected to the stories. I usually read it for a good laugh. This year broke that trend and threw it from the furthest reaches of the Rim. Hogfather started this golden run of excellent Discworld books. When the Hogfather (Santa Claus) is presumed dead, somebody needs to deliver gifts to children. Enter DEATH. The book was one emotional roller-coaster that makes you question your beliefs. I have a new favorite in my time travel list with Night Watch, where Vines mentors his younger self amidst a bloody rebellion. The ending is just pitch perfect (and obviously made me cry!). Thud was another strong entry in the City Watch series, highlighted by a stunning action sequence when Vimes goes berserk on a killing spree among the dark dwarves, all the while singingroaring children’s rhymes “WHERE’S MY COW?”. While Going Postal might not have make me laugh as much as the City Watch books, it has a powerful and engrossing storyline that grabs you by the lapels and refuses to you go.
It was rather fitting that I picked up Saga this year. For the uninitiated, Saga, Vol. 1 is a love story between two enemy soldiers caught in a never-ending galactic war. What makes it the best comic series I’ve ever read is that it is also completely CRAZY and INSANE. It revolves around lie-detector cats, torso-less sex workers, robots with TVs as heads, graphic freelance assassins, a ghost who babysits our star-crossed lovers' adorable little girl Hazel who narrates the entire story. I ended up giving 5-stars to all 8 Volumes. Do yourself a favor and give it a try! Other brilliant reads like Groot, Wolverine: Old Man Logan, and The Vision, Volume 1: Little Worse Than A Man capped off a memorable year in graphic novels, while my secret Santa presented me with Adulthood Is A Myth, making it extra special.
I usually take breaks from fantasy with more fantasythrillers. While my choice of thrillers didn’t pay dividends at the start of the year (The Eagle Has Landed is my lowest rated book this year), I made amends with a hatrick of 5-star thrillers (The Black Book by Patterson, The Fix by Baldacci, and The Odessa File by Forsyth).
My annual quota of contemporary reading was fulfilled by the wonderful Fredrick Backman. A Man Called Ove will probably remain the best contemporary I have ever read. I cried a lot and was reduced to a sobbing mass at the very end. I simply couldn’t get enough of Ove and his neighbors. Ove gifting an iPad to his “granddaughter” was one of my most favorite scenes of the year. I also did a buddy read of Animal Farm, which now made a lot of sense given that I am no longer a 10 year old kid.
Among non-fiction, Prisoners of Geography: Ten Maps That Tell You Everything You Need to Know About Global Politics was easily the best of the lot. I cannot recommend the book enough. In addition to my annual intake of non-fiction, I widened my reading horizons to include books on sports as well. My newfound addiction to data analytics in football prompted me to read The Football Code: The Science of Predicting the Beautiful Game and Outside the Box: OptaJoe's 25 Years of the Premier League. While Michael Cox’s The Mixer: The Story of Premier League Tactics, from Route One to False Nines was a brilliant tactical analysis of the evolution of the Premier League, Andres Iniesta’s biography The Artist: Being Iniesta will always hold a very special place in my list.
Just like 2015, I ended the year on the best possible note - Oathbringer, the third book in Brandon Sanderson’s masterpiece, Stormlight Archive. From ‘The wind held its breath’ to ‘Life before death, little one’, 2017 was one incredible year of reading!
Review: Batman v Superman - Dawn of Justice
To summarize Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice in two words, it is an incoherent mess. In a few more words, it is disappointing, lacklustre, humourless, dumb, and a slap in the face for fans who had been waiting patiently for 3 years to see the world’s greatest superheroes coming together on the big screen. As the Dark Knight and the Man of Steel fight and smash everything to smithereens in ‘the greatest gladiator match in the history of the world’, the only loser is the audience!
After a grand total of 152 minutes, the movie finally grinds to a halt and leaves the audience in what Snyder hopes to be a massive ‘cliffhanger’. You aren't fooling anyone, Mr. Snyder.
I now have to binge-watch the second season of Netflix’s Daredevil to make myself believe in superheroes again.
PS: There are NO post-credit scenes.
Review: Marvels
Marvels by Kurt Busiek My rating: 5 of 5 stars For the very first time, experience the Marvel Universe from a whole new perspective — yours. Welcome to New York. Here, burning figures roam the streets, men in brightly coloured costumes scale the glass and concrete walls, and creatures from space threaten to devour our world. This is the Marvel Universe, where the ordinary and fantastic interact daily. This is the world of Marvels. Marvels is an epic narrative of the birth of the Marvel Universe through the camera lens of a Daily Buggle news reporter Philip Sheldon. Creators Kurt Busiek and Alex Ross have created a protagonist with whom the readers can relate to; making us experience the way superheroes must look and feel to those without powers. You know how the general mayhem and property damages caused inadvertently by superheroes are explored in Netflix’s Daredevil and DC’s Batman vs Superman. Well, Marvels did it two decades back. Unlike countless crossover story arcs, Marvels doesn’t overburden its readers to know every superhero under existence. The story begins around WWII and introduces us to the world’s first Marvels – Human Torch, Namor and Captain America. Before long, we are in the midst of Cold War and by that time, the Avengers, Fantastic Four and the X-Men have been formed. The book interconnects different characters and story arcs better than any comic I know. It is story telling at its finest. Unlike the movies like Avengers, we don’t get front row seats to top secret SHIELD meetings. The protagonist (and the reader) remains in the dark here. So, a sense of tension prevails throughout the book. The artwork is quite simply stunning. The art of Gwen Stacy looking all innocent just before her impending death brought tears. Despite Alex Ross gorgeous looking canvas of several iconic characters from the Avengers, Fantastic Four, X Men, Spider Man and Daredevil, Marvels is not just a superhero comic. It is a fitting tribute to the world’s history and how humans adapt to changing times. View all my reviews
Review: You’re Never Weird on the Internet
You're Never Weird on the Internet by Felicia Day My rating: 5 of 5 stars 1. I never make it a point to highlight 50% of the text unless it is a Discworld novel by Terry Pratchett. 2. And I have this resolution (well, sort of) to never read autobiographies unless they are about Justine Henin or someone from Tottenham Hotspur. (P.S It doesn't matter if that person is the manager or just a groundstaff. I will purchase every edition there is.) But, when I happened to find Felicia Day’s “I wrote a book!” video on YouTube, I got super-excited and knew I just had to read it right away! Needless to say, I ended up highlighting more or less everything! For those unlucky enough to not know who Felicia Day is, she’s the QUEEN of the internet. Stop rolling your eyes and look it on that thing called Google. And while you are at it, watch her I wrote a book video as well. Well I told you, didn't I? The internet is not just cat videos. There’s also Felicia Day. I've been a huge fan of her from The Guild and Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog. The book begins with a foreword by Joss Whedon. He couldn't have summarized the book any better. Reading this book is like spending an afternoon with Felicia, hearing breathless tales (they’re always breathless – Felicia doesn't pause when she talks) of achievement, despair and dazzling, almost transcendent nerdiness. Her philosophy is very simple. ‘My personal life philosophy is always to assume the worse, then you’re never disappointed. BAM! Highlight that previous sentence, baby!’ Voila...highlighted in orange! She and her brother were homeschooled, which sounds kinda fun (?). During the Iraq War, her mother made them start learning Arabic because you never know, right! They were also made to read books constantly. Anything that didn't have nudity or Stephen King on the cover, of course! There is loads of great motherly advice which make super awesome wallpaper quotes. The choicest of the lot were ‘Playing Dungeons and Dragons will make you a Satanic basement murderer’ and ‘Girls become stupid in science after they get their period’. This got poor Felicia to study Calculus by the age of twelve. There are so many things about Felicia that made me yell to no one in particular. ‘Hey. That’s so ME!’ “Congratulations on completing that script! Do you want to go out to celebrate?” “No. I can’t go out now.” “Why not?” I sobbed. “I'm...too...happy.” Much to the bafflement of my family and friends, I've opted to remain holed up in my room on many occasions after I might have inadvertently done something cool or if Spurs did something awesome. The book is not just an insecure tirade of a nerdy person. It’s super-motivating as well. She shows that there’s no better time in history to have a dream. Everyone has a chance to have his or her voice heard. Hilarious and inspirational, You’re Never Weird on the Internet (Almost) is proof that everyone should embrace what makes them different and be brave enough to share it with the world, because anything is possible now. View all my reviews
Goodreads 2015 - My Year in Books
Total Books Read – 42 Total Pages Read – 14,387 2015 was the year I fell irrevocably in love with Brandon Sanderson’s writing and his fantasy realm of Cosmere, a shared universe spawning several magical worlds. I devoured a total of 11 books by the author! It all began with the Mistborn series. You can check my gushing (and incredibly long) review here. Having grown with Harry Potter and the Lord of the Rings, I am no stranger to fantasy. But, The Final Empire just blew me apart. The magic system, world building, characters and the plot were quite simply PERFECT. I still cannot resist the urge and often make futile attempts to burn metals and soar over the skies like MagnetoVin. I finished all 3 parts of the original trilogy during the summer and couldn’t get enough of Sanderson. Luckily, I stumbled across the epic concept of Cosmere. On a purely cosmological level, the Cosmere is a huge playground, full of potential, where characters from different books will end up meeting and interacting with each other, leading to some very interesting plots. It is a very exciting time to be suffering from Sandersonitis. Perfect State, The Alloy of Law, Shadows of Self, Sixth of the Dusk, Elantris and The Emperor’s Soul soon followed the Mistborn trilogy. More on Sanderson later. I was also introduced to the (disc)world of the inventively mad but brilliant Terry Pratchett. I read 5 books - 2 City Watch ( Guards! Guards! and Men at Arms), 2 Death (Mort and Reaper Man) and 1 Rincewind (The Color of Magic). Dripping with witty dialogues and satire, these were the books that made me laugh the most this year. I will most definitely revisit and renew my friendships with my favorite ragtag band of humans, dwarves, trolls and werewolves. YOU FORGOT ME. Oook! Yeah. I love those two guys as well. Anthony Ryan’s Blood Song was a brilliant read. But, the lukewarm ratings for the subsequent parts discouraged me exploring that series further. I finally completed Patrick Rothfuss’ much lauded and critically acclaimed The Name of the Wind. Though I liked it a lot, it didn’t have the same pull as George Martin or Sanderson. After thoroughly enjoying Peirce Brown’s debut novel Red Rising last year, Golden Son turned out to be something of a disappointment. 2015 was also the year I read more than 10 graphic novels. They were mostly from the DC and Marvel universes. Scott Snyder’s Batman, Vol. 1: The Court of Owls, Injustice: Gods Among Us, Vol. 1, Daredevil:The Man Without Fear and Civil War were all brilliant 5-star reads. I am looking to widen my horizons in comicology and recommendations are more than welcome. I know. I have been all fantasy, fantasy, fantasy! And, if you aren’t much of a fantasy person, I hope we can still become friends. I swear I do read other genres as well, but just not that very much. It’s just that fantasy is going through a golden period right now and there are so many good authors to savor. I love thrillers and detective novels. I have an insatiable crush on Kristen Bell. So, I listened to Kristen’s narration of the first book in the Veronica Mars series (The Thousand-Dollar Tan Line), my first ever audiobook. However, I ended up loving the second novel (Mr. Kiss and Tell) more. Sherlock continued to save me many a time during lonely railway station hours. The third book in the Cormoran Strike series (Career of Evil) by JK Rowling was my most favorite crime novel of the year. But on second thoughts, the spinoff novel from the Death Note TV show (Death Note: Another Note) was the best crime novel I read this year. I also read a few books well outside my home turf. I particularly loved the delightfully titled The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Society. We Were Liars made me sad. And, I did a buddy read of the Throne of Glass with a couple of college friends. The year ended, rather fittingly, with Brandon Sanderson’s (no surprises) The Way of Kings, the first part of The Stormlight Archive (incidentally the highest rated series ever in Goodreads). It is very rare when we can know with any degree of certainty that the 1000-page journey we are about to embark on is going to be the greatest piece of epic fantasy we have ever read in our life. The Way of Kings was that book for me and it managed to live up to every bit of my insanely bloated expectations. Let me know about the books you had also read and enjoyed. Happy New Year and Happy Reading!
The best of ‘Cumbertbatch = Otter’ in The Graham Norton Show that broke the internet!
Tottenham vs Chelsea: Spurs with big chance to cement top four credentials
11 months after that dramatic 5-3 win on New Year’s Day, Tottenham lock horns with Chelsea again in what should be another memorable clash in this enthralling season of Barclays Premier League. A win for Spurs would make a huge statement of intent for their season’s fortunes while at the same time deliver a crippling blow to Chelsea’s floundering prospects.
Chelsea may have been in a downward spiral this year. But on paper, they are still a much better team than Spurs (or any other English side for that matter). They know that a win over their London rivals will lift the spirits of their morale sapped side and might possibly even coax some life into their ‘well-loved’ manager and equally ‘charming’ striker.
For Spurs who are still basking in their hugely impressive 4-1 hammering of West Ham, a win or any positive result would firmly cement their top four credentials and even make those low rumblings of ‘title contenders’ seem less farfetched. With recent form reading WWWDWW for the home side in all competitions, it’s easy to understand the hype. Admittedly, even Mourinho reckons them to be a ‘really, really, really good team’ who should be ‘fighting for the title’.
For Spurs fans, it almost seems too good to be true. The last time the side was in such irresistible form was during Redknapp’s last year of reign when they were even briefly considered serious contenders for the title. We all know how well that ended. The good news is Spurs under Pochettino are now made of far sterner stuff and are less likely to hit the self-destruct button this time. Not to undermine Redknapp’s achievements or anything, but he was never the greatest of tacticians. He just happened to have some genuinely world class players at his disposal, who could simply 4-4-2 away most opponents. Anyway, that is what you come to expect from a guy who is fond of harping ‘tactics don’t win matches’.
However, when you look at this ridiculously young, exciting and hardworking side that Pochettino has assembled, you would be hard pressed to find many frailties. Sure, they play attractive football and are a joy to behold. But this side also underlines stability unlike any other Spurs unit in recent memory. With the rock-solid backline of Lloris, Alderweireld and Vertonghen, and a Dier-wolf pup patrolling the midfield, Spurs boast of one of the best defensive units in the league. Moussa Dembele is in the form of his life and playing like Yaya Toure in his prime. Dele Alli and Lamela are making significant contributions in both defence and attack. They have in Eriksen and Kane, players who can guarantee a lot of goals. Most importantly, they have in Pochettino, a manager who has firmly instilled his philosophy in the team and has given his young side the belief and license to thrill.
The game against Chelsea presents a pivotal moment in Pochettino’s reign at White Hart Lane. If Spurs manage to get a win over Chelsea this Sunday, it will mean they can no longer be ignored. It will mean they will finally be a genuine force to be reckoned with. It will prove beyond doubt that this is not a false dawn. The infamous “Lads, it’s Tottenham” might start to mean something else entirely.
Jon Snow is alive. Real or not real?
Review: Career of Evil (Cormoran Strike #3)
Career of Evil by Robert Galbraith My rating: 5 of 5 stars Disclaimer: Strike and Robin live in a very, very bad world. It is a grotesque place where people are so fond of brutally assaulting women, hurting little children and to top it all off sawing body parts and mailing them to enemies (or their cute secretaries). The book discusses themes of sexual abuse, violence, and pedophilia in graphic and excruciating detail. In short, it is not for the CW crowd. Still with me? Good. But don’t say that I didn’t warn you. Rowling’s third book in the Cormoran Strike series revolves around a psychopathic serial killer who despises women and takes an obscene amount of pleasure in hurting them. He incurs the wrath of Mad-Eye MoodyStrike when he couriers a woman’s severed leg (yes, you heard me right) to Robin, Strike’s assistant/partner/friend/secret-crush. Strike comes up with three major suspects. Each seem more despicable than the last - Strike’s mother’s rock star junkie husband, a psychopathic pedophile, and an ex army man who tied up his wife and left her for dead next to their baby. [Aside]I’m still waiting for Amazon to deliver my DeathNote. Else, I would not have hesitated to dish out slow, painful deaths to these jerks.[End Aside] The plot, character building and world building are Rowling’s strengths and she doesn’t disappoint. Till this book, I had only loved Robin. But after that heart wrenching scene in which she pours out her secrets to Strike, I wanted to leap straight into the page, hold her close and comfort her. Not being able to do that, I settled for bawling my eyes out. I unabashedly ship Strike and Robin. I have even forgiven Strike for supporting Arsenal (well, almost) and given him my blessing. So, I let out a huge celebratory whoop every time Robin and Mathew bickered (which was like, always!). The roadtrips that Robin and Strike took were so much fun. Robin has matured so much and is fast blossoming into an excellent investigator. The dialogues between the lead characters were brilliant as always while reading from either of their POVs was a delight in itself. “She thought it might be the very first time that Strike had ever given any indication that he saw her as a woman, and she silently filed away the exchange to pore over later, in solitude.” The ending scene at the wedding was a bit Bollywood-ish. But, you won’t hear me complaining. I’m all for a happy ending. (You hear that, George?) The world becomes a much better place to me when Rowling releases a new book every year. There can be no such thing as too much ‘Robin and Strike’. View all my reviews
Review: Civil War (Marvel)
Civil War by Mark Millar My rating: 5 of 5 stars Iron Man or Captain America: Whose Side Are You On?
With Iron Man, Captain America, Spider Man, Black Widow, Scarlett Witch, Ant Man, Winter Soldier, Hawkeye, Vision, Falcon, Black Panther, War Machine (and Martin Freeman in some mystery role) all making an appearance in the movie next year, this is essentially a MUST READ! In this story arc, the US Government issues a Superhero Registration Act, which divides the superhero community down the middle: Captain America leads the resistance, while on the other side Iron Man, Mr. Fantastic and Henry Pym (Yellowjacket) support the legislation. It is a major coup for pro-registration forces when Iron Man convinces Spiderman to reveal his fiercely guarded secret identity. However, the conflict escalates when a Thor-cyborg kills the Goliath in an all out brawl between the two sides. After this tragedy, new allegiances are made as old ones crumble. Spiderman joins Captain America. Sue and Johnny part ways with Mr. Fantastic leaving the Fantastic Four officially disbanded. After more acts of betrayals, tension mounts and the two sides square off for the final confrontation in Riker’s Island penitentiary. Though the climax feels a little rushed, it is a satisfying bittersweet ending. This was my ever Marvel graphic novel, but I enjoyed it thoroughly. I would heavily recommend everyone who has been following the Marvel Cinematic Universe, to give this a try before watching Civil War next year on the big screen. View all my reviews
Review: Mort (Discworld)
Mort by Terry Pratchett My rating: 4 of 5 stars This is the fourth book as part of my 'Discworld' marathon and I enjoyed this one also immensely. If you want a light, fun and fast read, you should definitely check this book out. I have to get this off my chest first. I.liked.Death.a.lot! - THANK YOU. - Maybe, not as much as the Librarian. - WHY NOT? SHOULD I BE MORE WOSSNAME FUNNY? - But, he is officially my second most favourite character in the Discworld. - I WILL BE FIRST IF I KILL THE LIBRARIAN, MM? - Er. On second thoughts, both the Librarian and Death are now my most favourite characters. Happy? YES. I THINK SO. I FEEL QUITE WARM AND CONTENT. In 'Mort', Death wants a change from his quite monotonous life. So, he decides to hire an apprentice by the name of - yeah, you guessed it right - Mort. So while Mort goes about ushering souls to wherever they want, Death decides to take a day off. The idea of Death drinking, dancing and trying to have fun was utterly hilarious. He also goes looking for other jobs. Many (e)mbarrassing questions later, he opts to become a chef. His first choice, though, was to do something fun that preferably involved cats or flowers. “I USHERED SOULS INTO THE NEXT WORLD. I WAS THE GRAVE OF ALL HOPE. I WAS THE ULTIMATE REALITY. I WAS THE ASSASSIN AGAINST WHOM NO LOCK WOULD HOLD. "Yes, point taken, but do you have any particular skills?” “It would seem that you have no useful skill or talent whatsoever. Have you thought of going into teaching?” Sidenote: This would totally justify my decision if I ever take up teaching. The probability of that happening is still only a million to one. But magicians have calculated that million-to-one chances crop up nine times out of ten. So, you never know. During his apprenticeship, Mort changes the entire fabric of reality when he saves the life of a princess whose time was up. It is now up to Mort and Death's adopted daughter Ysabel to repair the damage that has been caused. There is mass confusion in the city as history had already been written on how the princess had died and the realm prospered after that. The people assume that the princess had died already and tended to ignore her when they did run into her. So, the princess hires a Royal Recognizer whose only task is to convince people that the princess is still alive. All the ensuing chaos erupts in a delightful royal coronation that somehow involves an elephant! If you were interested in an apprenticeship with Death, the below dialogues should convince you to send your resume ASAP. “Death was standing behind a lectern, poring over a map. He looked at Mort as if he wasn't entirely there. YOU HAVEN’T HEARD OF THE BAY OF MANTE, HAVE YOU? He said. “No, sir,” said Mort. FAMOUS SHIPWRECK THERE. “Was there?” THERE WILL BE, said Death, IF I CAN FIND THE DAMN PLACE.”
Review: Men at Arms (Discworld)
Men at Arms by Terry Pratchett My rating: 5 of 5 stars If someone doesn’t hide my Kindle somewhere in the Unseen University Library or the Room of Requirement, I think I'm going to end up locking myself in a room and read all the books in the Discworld series! I found ‘Men at Arms’ even better than Guards! Guards!. This time, we have a very juicy mystery on our hands. Murders are usually very rare in Ankh-Morpork. Suicides and assassinations...well, they're a dime a dozen. But genuine murders, you know, are pretty darned rare. So, when DEATH gets busier than usual lately with some deaths suspiciously looking like murders, it's up to Carrot and Vimes of the Night Watch to figure out what the heck is going on and see if there is a link between old prophecies of Kings, a theft in the Assassin’s Guild and a murdered dwarf, clown and a beggar? Amidst all this, the city remains more or less the same. You can still get pizzas and if you are in a particularly suicidal mood, you can try C.M.O.T. Dibbler's Genuine Authentic Soggy Mountain Dew. The Thieves Guild is still in practice. "Thieves are organized here. I mean, it's official. They're allowed a certain amount of thieving. If you pay them a little premium every year they give you a card and leave you alone. Saves time and effort all around." Everyone is still afraid of the Patrician. “Lord Vetinari won’t stop at sarcasm. He might use’ - Colon swallowed - ‘irony.” However, we get to see some new characters. We have some wonderful new recruits to welcome to the Night Watch, a dashing villain to fight with and a wedding to plan. The Patrician wanted some ‘ethnic minority’ representation in the Watch. So, a dwarf, a troll (who is fond of saluting and knocking himself out) and a womanwerewolf are all sworn in. The banter between the dwarf and the troll was absolutely hilarious. Dwarves and Trolls hate each other as a rule. What with dwarves fond of mining rocks and trolls looking like lumps of rocks and all, a feud was simply inevitable. ”Cuddy (Dwarf): How come you read the notice about the Watch, anyway? Got someone to read it to you?” “Detritus (Troll): How come you read notice? Get someone to hold you up?” The bonding scene when Cuddy teaches Detritus how to count beyond 2 was brilliant. With a knack for counting only by multiples of 2, I think Detritus invented the binary language. And yeah, trolls also happen to have silicon brains. So with drastic changes in temperature, they can go from- ”Two...and one more...” Detritus looked panicky. This was Calculus territory” -to- “He calculated the number of bricks in the wall, first in twos and then in tens and finally in sixteens. The numbers formed up and marched past his brain in terrified obedience. Division and multiplication were discovered. Algebra was invented and provided an interesting diversion for a minute or two. And then he felt the fog of numbers drift away, and looked up and saw the sparkling, distant mountains of calculus.” I also happen to have a crush on the werewolf, Angua. And, I wouldn’t mind taking some Animagus classes or learning how to become a Warg for her. Our villain, Edward D’eath is a guy who can think in italics and should have definitely been kept an eye on (albeit from a safe distance!). He hatches an elaborate plot to steal a ‘GONNE’. Once he is in possession of the Gonne, the death toll starts mounting at an alarming rate. DEATH (not to be confused with D’eath), who is now working overtime, has been instructed to lighten up the mood, you know, while working. So, he comes up with some delightful puns for his victims. It is, however, very unfortunate when the puns are completely lost on the Ankh-Morpork populace. “I believe in reincarnation,” [Bjorn] said. I KNOW. “I tried to live a good life. Does that help?” THAT’S NOT UP TO ME. Death coughed. OF COURSE... SINCE YOU BELIEVE IN REINCARNATION... YOU’LL BE ‘BJORN’ AGAIN.” We get to know a lot about dwarves in this book. “Dwarfs are very attached to gold. Any highwayman demanding 'Your money or your life' had better bring a folding chair and packed lunch and a book to read while the debate goes on.” We also visit a dwarf deli (with 5’ roofs). As is to be expected, the menu was ‘littered’ with rats. My new favourite species in the Discworld are now trolls. More Detritus please! And I really, really hope that there is a history lesson on trolls in some later book. Despite all the new additions, Carrot was still the best character in the book. He is now more mature. He still writes to his family as much as possible, but doesn’t inquire about Minty these days. He has become very ‘krismatic’ and EVERYBODY listens to him now. I loved the scene when Carrot, Detritus and Cuddy stop a near-certain war between dwarves and trolls and recruit nearly 50 of them to the Watch. Last but not least, the Librarian has a wonderful cameo at a wedding. It was highly unfortunate that they wouldn’t name him best man. “The Librarian liked being best man. You were allowed to kiss bridesmaids, and they weren't allowed to run away.” Pee Dot Yes Colon Captain Vimes 'Boots' theory of socioeconomic unfairness was too good that it needs to be included in all Economics textbooks ASAP. View all my reviews
Review: Guards! Guards! (Discworld)
Guards! Guards! by Terry Pratchett My rating: 5 of 5 stars This is the most ludicrous and one of the most brilliant stories I have ever read. I honestly do not remember the last occasion I laughed out loud this often while reading a book. Be warned. This has a lot of quotes from Guards! Guards! So, continue reading at the risk of getting irrevocably hooked to the world of Terry Pratchett. The story is set in the great mythical city of Ankh-Morpork! They are a lovely folk, the people of Ankh-Morpork, and they love pizzas! ‘The people of Ankh-Morpork had a straightforward, no-nonsense approach to entertainment, and while they were looking forward to seeing a dragon slain, they'd be happy to settle instead for seeing someone being baked alive in his own armour.’ ‘That's the Ankh-Morpork instinct. Run away, and then stop and see if anything interesting is going to happen to other people.’ ‘We always beat ourselves before we even start. Give any Ankh-Morpork man a big stick and he’ll end up clubbing himself to death.’ ‘That’s the Ankh-Morpork way. If you can’t beat it or corrupt it, you pretend it was your idea in the first place.’ ‘Great days for the law, they were. In 1321, a small cloud was prosecuted for covering the climax of Frenzied Earl Hargath’s investitute ceremony.’ They also have pizzas. Did I tell you that? A short synopsis of the story. A plan is being hatched by a secret organization (who conduct the most hilarious conspiracy meetings ever!) to overthrow the Patrician of Ankh-Morpork and replace him with a King. In order to do that, they need to summon a dragon using magic (after all, magic is only waving your arms and chanting, when all’s said and done). They summon a dragon because everyone knows that the true King will always be the man who saves the City by slaying a dragon. (Sidebar: Dany should pay a visit to Ankh-Morpork with Drogon sometime. It would be a nice change from Mereen.) At the same time Carrot Ironfoundersson, who is too tall to be dwarf (being human and all), is sent by his adopted dwarf parents to Ankh-Morpork to join the Night Watch, who are led by the cynical Captain Vimes. ‘Vimes stalked gloomily through the crowded streets, feeling like the only pickled onion in a fruit salad.’ ‘If there was anything that depressed him more than his own cynicism, it was that quite often it still wasn't as cynical as real life.’ He’s a charming fellow and as Sergeant Colon would say, ‘he (Vimes) wouldn’t have known what to do either, but he’s got a much better vocabulary to be baffled in.’ SergeantSargent Colon is another memorable character. He owed thirty years of happy marriage to the fact that Mrs. Colon worked all day and he worked all night. They communicated only by means of notes. They had three grown-up children, all born, possibly as a result of extremely persuasive handwriting. My personal favourite in the Night Watch is the new recruit Carrot, a strapping 6’4’’ human brought up by dwarves. He has a crush on a dwarf called Minty. (Interesting titbit about dwarves: In the Discworld, all dwarfs have beards and wear up to twelve layers of clothing. Gender is more or less optional.) He has memorized the book ‘Laws and Ordinances of the Cities Ankh and Morpork’ and is fond of arresting dangerous people/creatures and reading them their rights. ‘He (Carrot) walked with a stoop. What will do that is being brought up in a gold mine run by dwarves who thought that five feet was a good height for a ceiling.’ ‘People who are rather more than six feet tall and nearly as broad across the shoulders often have uneventful journeys. People jump out at them from behind rocks then say things like, "Oh. Sorry. I thought you were someone else."' The city is ruled by the Lord Vetinari, the Patrician who has several interesting principles that he strictly adheres to. ‘When the Patrician was unhappy, he became very democratic. He found intricate and painful ways of spreading that unhappiness as far as possible.’ ‘I believe you find life such a problem because you think there are good people and bad people. You're wrong, of course. There are, always and only, the bad people, but some of them are on opposite sides.’ ‘The plain fact was that the thieves were far better at controlling crime than Watch had ever been. After all, the Watch had to work twice as hard to cut crime just a little, whereas all the Guild (of Thieves) had to do was to work less.’ ‘Never build a dungeon you wouldn't be happy to spend the night in yourself. The world would be a happier place if more people remembered that.’ Coming back to the ‘story’, after the dragon is unleashed, it crowns itself the king, the Patrician is imprisoned in his own dungeons, virgins are selected for sacrifice, and everything that glitters is brought to the dragon for, you know, making a nice comfy bed for it to sleep on. Given the plight of Ankh-Morpork, our draco nobilis doesn’t get as good a bed as Smaug (The Hobbit). The Night Watch are the only ones who dare oppose the dragon. The City Watch side with the dragon, but don’t present much of a problem. More guards were hurrying up, but with that special kind of run that guards had. It was the run that said, there’s a dozen of us, let someone else get there first. However, the Night Watch is aided in the hunt for the dragon by the Librarian and the Lady Sybil Ramkin. Er, I forgot to mention this. The librarian happens to be a monkeyan ape whose entire vocabulary includes ‘Oook’ (Yes) and ‘Eeek’ (No). He is better than me in charades though. I can never bring myself to act anything beyond Oook and Eeek. Their other benefactor, Lady Ramkin is a rich lady who breeds the smaller, cuter and less dangerous swamp dragons. (I am guessing they are as big as Drogon was in Season 2, you know, when we all wanted to have him as a pet. I wouldn’t mind them being similar to Charmander as well.) Vimes and Sybil get along quite ‘well’. So, he gets to take a swamp dragon (with a malfunctioning digestive system, of course) as a pet. The remainder of the book hilariously narrates how the Night Watch tries to dethrone the dragon from its golden horde. Traditionally, in all the movies, the heroes/heroines always get to have a last-ditch ‘million-to-one’ shot that invariably works, right? Of course, the heroines/heroes have to whisper random things like ‘I know you can do it’ and ‘I believe you’ over the phone. But, a last ditch effort always works as long it is a one in a million chance. So, our members of the Night Watch do their best to worsen the odds from ‘thousand-to-one’ to ‘million-to-one’ in the funniest ways imaginable. The entire book is littered with countless witty dialogues and drips with satire. It makes a lot of jabs at governments. It borrows heavily from traditional mythology and fantasy writings and turns everything upside down. Nothing is ever the same here in the Discworld. After all, this is a disc-like world that is borne through space on the back of four giant elephants that stand on the back of a huge turtle. Terry Pratchett’s Discworld was heavily recommended to me and it did not disappoint one single bit. It was sheer delight reading this inventively mad, wild and wonderful book. As Anne McCaffrey quite succinctly put it, Guards! Guards! is logically illogical as only Terry Pratchett can write! View all my reviews
Review: The Hero of Ages (Mistborn #3)
The Hero of Ages by Brandon Sanderson My rating: 5 of 5 stars Perfect...that ending was just too perfect! The suspense, intrigue and action that had been slowly building up in the first two instalments erupts to a crescendo before ebbing away in the most beautiful of conclusions. This book was easily the darkest of the Mistborn trilogy. The death toll has risen drastically. There was even a scene where I had to bury my head into the pillow and console myself. That may be because I get way too emotionally attached to fictional characters. But still, don't say that I didn't warn you. Vin was again the BEST character of the book. She had her trademark epic fight scenes. But in this part, she becomes more just an assassin. She transforms from a street urchin to a deadly assassin to a (view spoiler)[freaking GOD (hide spoiler)] before our very eyes. Her journey was fraught with impossibilities. She had to make ultimate sacrifices. But still, she kept fighting on. She might be my most favourite fictional character ever. Like TenSoor in the earlier book, I had a new favourite to root for – SPOOK, the Survivor of the Flames! With a blindfold wrapped around his eyes and a newfound charisma and swagger, he was Kelsier reborn. I always felt extra happy when I found a new chapter on him or TenSoon. It was a pleasant surprise to find a POV for the kandras and I found that segment thoroughly enjoyable. My review wouldn’t be complete if I didn’t even talk about Sazed. At the start of the book, the Terrisman has lost hope in his religion. As Sazed embarks on a quest to find his lost faith, Sanderson forces the reader to travel with Sazed and experience the same turmoil of emotions that he faces before finally rewarding you for sticking with Sazed. The supernatural elements always hovering over our favourite thieving crew - Ruin, Preservation and even the Lord Ruler - were all showcast well. The blurring boundaries between mortality and immortality, legends and gods, mists and alomancy – everything is questioned and examined in the most intricate fashion. The mystery behind the number 16 was also dealt with brilliantly. 16 might be my new favourite number now! This was one of those books where there are so many awesome scenes that I kept getting afraid of forgetting some. In fact, I had to spend a significant amount of time mentally reciting all the best things. It is the sort of book which you do not want to just finish. It is the one where you want to savour every page and remember every intricate detail. View all my reviews
THE NORTH REMEMBERS, RAMSAY SNOW!
I know for a fact that every GoT fan is praying for the slow and painful death of Ramsay f---ing Snow for what he has done to Sansa, the show’s most innocent character. So, I decided to write a fanfic of some sort to blow off some steam and also to satiate all those ‘Sansa Justice Warriors’ out there
Warning: Thrones has officially messed up my head big time and this is a very, very sadist post. It also contains spoilers!
In the hidden lair of the Brotherhood without Banners, Sandor Clegane and the leader of newly recruited mountain clansmen, Shagga dropped Ramsay Snow at the feet of Lady Stoneheart.
Sandor Clegane stepped forward. ‘My Lady, this accursed man is guilty of a thousand sins and more. He has flayed and killed several hundreds of people. He uses dogs and hunts women for fun. He tortures people. And, he has...hurt Lady Sansa. I say, he should die.’
Lady Stoneheart’s cold eyes never blinked as she held Ramsay in her venomous gaze. She nodded.
The Hound spared a look of disgust at Ramsay before kicking him savagely in his stomach. ‘He’s all yours, Shagga.’ The mountain man hefted his axe and let out a whoop. ‘Shagga will cut off his manhood and feed it to the wolves.’
‘NO,’ Arya said. ‘His punishment must be more severe.’
The outlaws and others present shouted and thumped their weapons in approval. Despite Shagga’s loud protests of ‘Shagga can make it very painful, girl wolf’, Arya refused. She unsheathed Needle and bore down on Ramsay menacingly. ‘The Hound has been kind enough to get for me the poison which Oberyn used to kill the Mountain. I hear it can be very...painful.’
The singer Tom began to play, “Wolves in the Hills” as Ramsay began screaming loudly. After what seemed like an hour, Ramsay cried. ‘Please kill me. I can’t take it any longer.’
Arya towered over him. ‘When all your worthless piece of skin is completely flayed and your girls have feasted on your rotting bones, then you have my permission to die.’
A man with his face hidden in a hood stepped forward. ‘My turn.’ Carrying a cruel looking sword, he asked Ramsay. ‘Your hands or your legs. Where should I begin?’ Ramsay clutched his hands and tried to retreat away from the stranger. ‘Okay. Your hands then.’ And, he brought down his blade in a flash of steel. Cradling his bloodied stump, Ramsay whimpered. ‘Who are you?’
The hooded man revealed his face. Theon! ‘My name is Reek. And, you should know that it rhymes with freak.’ Satisfied with his handiwork, Theon nodded meaningfully at Arya.
Arya called out loudly to her direwolf. From a distance, Nymeria let out an answering howl. The huge she-wolf’s cry was echoed by a pack of wolves and some vicious dogs as they ran furiously towards the scent of blood. At a signal from Arya, the “Bastard’s girls” (the hunting dogs that Ramsay uses to hunt) pounced gleefully on Ramsay Snow and ripped the sobbing mass of blood apart.
Are there other ways to make this scene ‘better’? Suggestions are always welcome!
It’s that time of the year again! Summer vacation is fast approaching and the responsibility will soon fall squarely on your shoulders to keep your hyperactive toddlers engaged during the entirety of their holidays. Holiday care programmes aren’t getting any cheaper and the vacation will start to...