I feel like I’m drowning inside myself. I don’t even know what to do anymore. The things I used to cope with don’t make me happy anymore, my friends feel so far away. I haven’t been in a state like this in quite some time. A writing stage again. I’m so fucking lonely and literally have no one to talk to that I have to write to talk to myself. I feel so pathetic. Why is my brain like this. I need to feel loved and appreciated, I need to become a version on me who is happy to watch a show, who can concentrate a minute to watch a show, who likes seeing youtube videos, who likes reading song lyrics, who like doodling, who likes making ugly art, who likes reading books, who likes writing stories, who likes being by herself, who appreciated loneliness, who found joy in the smallest things, when did my spark go away? Is it even possible to get it back? when did I become this hollow version of myself? Who even am I anymore? Why do I feel so worthless when I’m alone, why do I feel so fucking miserable when I’m alone, why does my mind hate me so much? because the problem is me, it’s always me. I feel so fucking empty. I’m officially there again, in the dark corner of my mind. Depressed.
