I have always been alone.
From the beginning, I was never understood. Surrounded by so many– friends, family, everyone– all of them having resigned to the decisions and machinations of someone else. Spouses to spouses, citizens to magistrates, criminals to gang bosses… No one I knew had any measure of self-assurance. No ambitions beyond surviving to the next day, or week. Content in their mediocrity. Pathetic! What manner of elf could abide such inappetence? Not me. I stood alone; the radiant phoenix among a flock of low flying dragonhawks. The sun’s warmth called on me to rise above.
Ambition alone means nothing without direction. I saw only one aspiration worth chasing; a crown. The Sun Crown. For too long, I had been told the Sunstrider lineage bore the sole claim to the monarchy. Why? Dath’remar’s undeniable achievements were wrought in blood, pain, toil, and sacrifice! And his progeny benefit from simply sharing his bloodline? No wonder my elven kin are so sated; no ambition thrives in a world where your lot in life is simply handed to you. Born into nobility, or spawned into poverty… should that define an elf? Did it define Dath’remar? An absurd notion. The High Kingdom was built on his ambition! It should not serve as ambition’s tomb! No… my people would see that bloodline alone means nothing. They are so content to be governed? So eager to be ruled over?
The path before me was clear; and yet, fraught with obstacles, both miring and dangerous. But I was not deterred by such adversity. In fact, it only enkindled my drive! All the opposition between my golden objective and me served only as proof that it was worthy of my pursuit! I started with the gift I had been given; an affinity for magic. Not uncommon among my people, but it seemed to be more of a curse than a blessing for many of the ignorant fools surrounding me. They used their arcane gifts to ease their mediocre lives… and nothing more! Magic made them all the lazier. Their sails may have already been closed, but what little arcane proficiencies they bore stilled the winds. None of them saw the potential I did. I fully grasped the Arcana before me! I shaped it, and molded it, and bent it to my will! I rode it to new heights, and became among the most powerful of my people! Finally, I was among others with ambition! But even they had their own self-imposed limitations.
The Fel is dangerous, they told me. Warned me. Shielding themselves from it like a storm. I didn’t run from the storm’s terrible thunder– I reached for it! An investment in power would be the only way to earn my throne! And if that meant stealing the power from chaos to bring about order of my own design… so be it! I bridled the thunder of the storm; the dangerous and terrible Fel became another weapon in my arsenal! Another rung on my ladder!
There was something else of which I should have been wary, however. Something far more dangerous than demonfire. Love. I found another I thought shared in my ambition. Someone with which I believed I could climb to the top of the mountain of my greatest dreams! Only to learn she, too, had resigned herself to play the role of a pawn in another’s game. By the time the love blindness was lifted, it was too late. Love narrows one’s vision, setting a haze over the path to destiny. I was burned, literally and figuratively, by trusting someone too much. But even that misstep didn’t defer me from my path. Nothing would!
Now, I am closer than ever; the prestigious Sun Council dances to the steady rhythm I so subtly play with the tap of my finger. Do any of them realize it? Some suspect, I’m sure. But if I’ve learned anything in this ascent, it’s to be mindful. Subtle. Cautious. The masses are content to be ruled. But those who imagine themselves rulers do not. Still they dance; their feet move to the beat, the illusion of agency. Their decisions are more easily made when they believe them to be of their own design. I’ll call them colleagues. Peers. It caresses their fragile egos, and keeps them docile; revealing just how beneath me they really are will only agitate and antagonize them. And I’ve enough obstacles yet to face without adding more, needlessly.
It matters little, in any case; soon they’ll learn the truth for themselves. They’ve always been beneath me. I have no one. I need no one!
I have always been alone.