Lost in this Great Big World Called Home

[thewanderingbarefootchild]

plain site

climbing

climbing higher and higher

to the top of the building,

no floors left to climb.

walking

walking down the hallway

to the empty alcove

located besides the elevator

she’s hidden in plain site

she’s hidden in plain site her whole life

it’s the easiest way to survive

so that’s what she did

survived

survived each obstacle thrown at her

and now, hundreds of miles away

the monsters have followed her

followed her down south

and up nine floors

to the alcove by the elevator

the monsters don’t ever go away

even if you hide in plain site

[thewanderingbarefootchild]

winter

winter

its storming in summer

dafoidial fuzz blowing in the wind

brain is muddled, no space to breathe

an expanse of humidity

as far as the eye can see

its closing in,

trapped. stuck. 

hamster on a treadmill

intrusive thoughts, hard to keep out

life is a game

with a finish line

a nonexistent finish line 

[thewanderingbarefootchild]

i see a claw

peeking in my room

the monsters have finally caught up with me

here to take my soul,

once and for all

unbeknownst to them,

the monsters did not need to bring their claws

i will not put up a fight

instead i will allow them to embrace me

wrap me in a tight hug,

one that i have been yearning for

all of my life

the monster is at the door

waiting to come in

so polite,

like a suitor should be

taptaptap go the claws

it is time

i rise

and meet my fate

[thewanderingbarefootchild]

her smile is gold

a sparkle that radiates warmth

one that makes people second glance

her smile is gold

because she doesn’t realize

realize how special she is

realize she lights up every room she walks in

realize she can brighten other people’s days into good, 

even in the darkest of storms

her smile is gold

because she is real

real as the roll on her belly or bump on her face

she doesn’t hide behind a mask

but instead lives

lives as herself everyday

she is beautiful in every way possible

she is gold

[thewanderingbarefootchild]

why do people tell her she is the smartest of them all?

she is not who they think she is

barely scraping by

one grade away from breaking

but that's okay

she is already broken

it is hard to notice a crack in a broken dish

she is the smartest of them all

she is the best at lying,

the best at pretending

the best at letting them see ONLY what she wants them to

its a skill she has been working on

working on her entire life

a skill she has almost perfected

key word- almost

she is almost the best of them

[thewanderingbarefootchild]

simply put

her soul is wandering

lost in this big wide world she somehow calls home

she sleeps under the moon

dreams under the stars

and breathes with the ocean

she is lost but somehow home

her soul intertwined with the natural world

perfectly placed in time

content with no physical home

she is a wandering soul

who finds beauty in the dark

even when life does not deal her worthy cards

     or cards at all

her searching soul

will search until tired

till the day she can rest her head

and allow mother earth to claim her body

[thewanderingbarefootchild]

sitting there

on the bus to nowhere

she closes her eyes

time flits and she opens her eyes

and finds herself trapped

trapped in the maze of life

with her whole future laid on the table before her.

she's going to have a decent life,

a decent, but ordinary life.

a life no one will remember

and that's okay, she is content with that.

so why is she still living for others?

they won't remember her

or even bat an eye when she is gone.

every moment should be for herself

her and her soul alone

because if she does this

she will escape the maze of life

and finally be happy

[thewanderingbarefootchild]

she was the definition of her mother

same appearance

both stubborn and proud

awake at the crack of dawn

she was the definition of her mother

and she hated it

she hated that they were more alike than she would ever let on

and now, 200 miles from her hometown

her, and her heart, was finally home

so why did she still feel attached to the woman

the woman who was ever so cruel to her

separated physically, but someone still attached

she was stuck

in a never ending wormhole

she was the definition of her mother

and she hated it

[thewanderingbarefootchild]

"is it better to be happier and stupid or smart and constantly studying"

This is the question she poses herself, on the big blue bus, line 1

I am happier, but at what cost?

I visit mother ocean

          but stare at a quiz with nothing running through my head

adhd, depression, stupidity.

There is definitely a medical term for it

but I dont care

I just need to find myself

a lost soul stuck in the maze of life

traveling through time

one impulsive move to the next

repeat repeat repeat

floating, flitting through life

[thewanderingbarefootchild]

the earth teaches me to not only live, but to be ALIVE. feel every emotion, good or bad. there is no need to hide, there is beauty in the darkness, whether you see it now or not. some beauty can only be soon in the darkness. a star is not visible in light, but in dark, it shines. in the most glorious way possible. the earth is perfectly imperfect. perfectly honest. at peace with itself, no matter the storm. i want to be alive. like you, mother earth. i want to be alive.

[thewanderingbarefootchild]

I love you, Mother Earth

I fall in love with you in a different way every day

the sandpipers pecking for food

the waves crashing on the shore

the sun dancing behind the horizon. 

I fall in love with you, Mother Earth, in a different way every day.

You are beautiful in every temperament

angry storms or joyous clouds,

I love you for you

You never hide, and let me, 

and the world,

see you for who you are

every. 

damn.

day.

I love you Mother Earth

today, tomorrow, always.

Thank you for today. 

[thewanderingbarefootchild]

the sun has set on another day

gone beneath the horizon

just out of reach

a lifetime too far away

missing, even if it's just for a night

the absence of light

ever so apparent

letting darkness shine through

because all cannot be light

everyone has some dark

just beyond their horizon

out of sight

but not unattainable

because horizons are not barriers

just obstacles

an obstacle that must be overcome everyday

you will see in the morning

trust the sun

the sun trusts you

[thewanderingbarefootchild]

slipping

slipping and sliding

just short of an avalanche

one gust of wind

before she slides off the edge

she may appear stationary now

but a tower of cards 

is steady before it’s touched

slipping

slipping and sliding

trying to discover the cause

digging, hoping to locate it

but in reality,

she is only digging a hole

deeper and deeper

that is becoming impossible to climb out of

she’s slipping

slipping and sliding

to a place of no return

she’s slipped

[thewanderingbarefootchild]

pink ink for the girl who refuses to like pink

its just not her vibe

she’s not that girl

so what girl is she?

the girl who takes care of everyone

that much is true,

but she is tired of being the nice friend

she is tired of being the person she has always been

she just wants to be her

even if she doesn’t know who that is

the girl obsessed with the ocean and the stars

in love with nature and life

hope is not lost yet

she will search every nook and cranny

she will do what she can

to find herself

even if that means showing the world

her pink ink

[thewanderingbarefootchild]

live slow

a sign posted on a house along the 602 westward bound bus

[thewanderingbarefootchild]

what if the bus tipped. tipped 90 degrees so it was flat on the ground. what would happen? the girl, seated in the back right was all alone. alone on the bus. alone in this city. alone in her heart. a mixed up delusional girl who doesn’t know a thing about herself. what would happen to her?

[thewanderingbarefootchild]

sitting 

on that hard and cold metal bench

waiting for the bus to come

and take her far away

away from her home

away from the place her heart is happy

away because she must

find herself again

not a reversion, but a reclamation

to the girl she used to be

a self her old self would be proud of

so she must

go away