Does anyone want to talk about transmasc Guo Chengyu headcanon? Are there fics about this? There have to be, right??
The depth of him rebuilding himself in Chi Cheng’s image. First imprinting on him, being obsessed with him, thinking he’s in love with him, the way his parents expect him to. But something feels wrong about it. Seeing Chi Cheng with guys and having so fucking intense and complicated feelings about it. Thinking it's hot, being jealous of the guys, being jealous of Chi Cheng, wanting what they have. Then *realizing* and transitioning and telling himself "oh I just wanted to be him and not be with him", but his feelings still being entangled and complicated. Not being able to separate Chi Cheng from his own identity, from who he is as a person.
Oh this would put their reluctance to actually fuck about it in a whole different context. Chengyu not wanting to bottom because of dysphoria, Chi Cheng absolutely unwilling to do so. Finding ways to proxy fuck about whatever the fuck is going on between them.
Also, the way Chengyu hides himself behind a front and holds himself apart, the way he observes people for a long time before letting them in, the way he tries to give them what they want and make them need him before he reveals himself to them. It all makes so much sense to me.
Ohh I’m going feral over this
