still can’t believe i’m the same person….???

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@thinskinnedchameleon
still can’t believe i’m the same person….???
before and after -50 lbs
My family buying trigger foods the moment I decide to restrict again
it’s da blueberry muffins for me
"fuck my eating disorder" i say, as i binge on everything in the kitchen as if that isn’t. a part of. my disorder
THIS IS TOO REAL
Ed community looking at memes about starving, lying to friends and family and hating your own body:
Its so weird how much having an eating disorder is like being in a competition against yourself where you see how long you can go without food at the end of the day and every day is the same and you try to beat your record from the day before only there is no winning you get addicted to seeing the numbers go down and each time you hit a gw you set a new one and go through that competition all over again
I wanna starve myself and want everyone around me to be worried for me but I also want to go on without them noticing but I also wanna lose weight very fast but I also wanna eat food but I also wanna feel the hunger pangs but I also want to just have a healthy relationship with food but I also don't wanna gain. help.
Not wanting to eat in front of anyone because it makes you anxious
Vs
Only wanting to eat in front of people so your eating habits look normal
Vs
Wanting everyone to think you don’t eat anything
just sum lowkey ed tingz
finding new low calorie drinks or snacks!! my fucking salvations.
drinking 23272 diet cokes a day
yay education!!! translation: getting to skip breakfast and lunch✨
*slight inconvenience* starvey time uwu😻
the pure euphoria any time the scale drops
freezing all the time
some days ur brain being like “food is fuel!” and other days yelling at u for eating more than 3 ricecake crumbs
“so how did u lose weight?”…….*nervous energy intensifies*😳
your brain convincing you you’ve 100% gained 60 lbs after eating more than your kcal limit for the day
eating food to get rid of it so that you’re not tempted to eat it tmrw (absolutely no logic)
reaching your ugw but being like “nope this isn’t enough” so u keep going and you have no idea when you’ll stop
not even necessarily hating your body? but you keep going because it feels like you’re finally in control of something and it’s too addicting to give up
nightmares about binging
Yeah I have disordered eating habits and a skewed self image but I don’t tolerate fat shaming
WE DONT TOLERATE BODY SHAMING ON THIS BLOG
exactly
my boobs rlly said
🏃♀️💨
meanspo for myself
here goes, everything anyone has ever said to me about my weight:
- “it’s weird because she’s so big and he’s so small!”
-“you look great. now lose some weight and you’ll look even better”
-“in all honesty, you’d be so much prettier if you lost some weight”
-“when she ate nothing she lost so much weight but she like, gained it ALL back now”
-*pinches my cheekbones* “this is cute!” *pinches the fat under my chin/my jaw* “this isn’t!🤣😜”
-“you looked like a little elephant!”
-*talks about how i feel kinda confident for once* “but sweetie, you REALLY need to lose weight”
-“i honestly just find it really weird that im older and taller than you AND you weigh so much more than me”
-*two little kids laughing at me” “hehe look at her she looks like a baby elephant!!”
-“she belongs in the fat section!”
-“i think…*glances at me*…..uh..um…*says random guy in my classes name* should play the fat guy HAHA”
-“LOLS *___my name__ *should try the detox let’s see how that goes 😂😂”
-“you’re one of the chubbiest girls in the grade”
-“are you really gonna eat like a pig again?”
-“you’re never gonna be skinny to be honest”
-“in that shirt your arms honestly look like your entire body”
- me: “i really hope i don’t look huge tommorow lol” mom:“…depends on what you wear”
- “he probably said you’re ugly because of your weight. because your face is pretty and all so that’s all i can think of”
“big boobs don’t count if you’re fat”
random dude on omegle after seeing only my face and hearing my voice for a second “go away, no fat chicks with dude voices” and “fat bitches opinions don’t matter” “i can see your fat from your face and your neck rolls” “you’ve lost weight? doesn’t matter. you’re still fat”
“how does it feel to be heavier than most people?”
“i admire you for not being ashamed of your body”
*my mom and i talking about how her comments about my weight hurt me as a child* her: “i really don’t see what i did wrong, i think the only think i possibly did wrong was letting you eat so much”
someone tried to tell me skinny shaming was worse than fat shaming today HAHAHAHA
I needed to see this bc I’ve been the same weight and feeling like a fucking whale
🍋reblog if 3+ apply🍋
• you’re under 15🌸
• your goal weight is 120+🌸
• you were overweight when you started🌸
• SW 170+🌸
• under 800 kcal. a day🌸
• struggles with fasting🌸
• you don’t exercise often🌸
• you still live with your parent(s)/guardian 🌸
I fought off my binge urges! yay! I used a trick I saw on some blog that says to tell yourself you’ll eat it tomorrow morning when your metabolism is higher because the urge will have probably gone away by then. I hope it does ~ 🌧️
i tried this but it’s 5 am now and it’s still not gone holy fucking shit idk what to do i almost feel like it’s inevitable but i really don’t want to fuck up my progress