THRIFT CITY

Reviewing Chicago's thrift shops, one at a time. I'm Phoebe, I've been here forever, and I know what I'm talking about. Direct questions, compliments, and complaints to @phoebethatch on Instagram. Five Star Shops Four Star Shops Three Star Shops The losers corner: Two Star Shops One Star Shops

[thriftchicago]

REVIEW: Green Element Resale (Broadway & Rosemont)

★★½

It might be a cult

A small, independently owned, not-for-profit thrift store in Rogers Park? It would be a damn dream, if only Green Element could deliver the goods. As it currently stands, Green Element better resembles your grandpa’s junk drawer than it does a store where lightly used goods are sold to people. However, if you’re a freak for old magazines and used books, this store might be worth braving.  

Ahead: Mambas, Kenny Lavender, and a plywood casket of cotton-blend bullshit --->

It pains me to say it, but Green Element is... not great.

I visited Green Element once in January and decided to suspend judgement until I could bring in a ringer. Cut to this August, when I rolled up with a true thriftmaster and perhaps the ultimate guest correspondent: rat queen, actor, and stylist Silvia Abelson (@girlwithlowbattery on Insta).

To be fair, we’d just spent an incredible couple hours discovering our new vintage pornstar bedroom aesthetic at the Broadway Antiques Mall so maybe Green Element suffered a little in comparison. However, when the cavelike atmosphere and lack of air circulation in the store causes your guest correspondent to lie down out of heat exhaustion 5 minutes in the visit, you know the store is probably not going to be one of the good ones.

MAJOR STRENGTHS:

Because I love all thrift stores and want them to succeed, I’m going to start with Green Element’s absolute best features: the large and interesting used book collection, and the National Geographic shelf.

I collect maps, and a big portion of my collection comes from tear-out attachments in old-school Nat Geo magazines that I get at yard sales. My aesthetic obsession with vintage photojournalism & infographics is well-documented to say the least.  Seeing all these old, crisp issues in one place got me riled up.

come 2 me, little ones

A cursory overview of the whole shelf reveals a lot of duplicates, missing maps, and issues I already own, but I’m sure there’s gold to be found here. I haven’t yet had to time to give this shelf the attention it fully deserves. Rest assured, I’ll be back.

The books at Green Element aren’t super well organized, but there are lot of them and they’re interesting. At your average Village Discount outlet, you’ll find a lot of, like, hospital-themed romance novels and old Tony Robbins self-help primers (no offense to romance novels, definitely offense to Tony Robbins). This collection is a little more curated, which I appreciate.

MAJOR WEAKNESSES:

At Green Element, quantity is not the issue. There are plenty of clothes and they are everywhere.

Once, long ago, an attempt was made at organizing the contents of the racks by colour. If there’s an organization to the sizing, I have yet to decipher it. As for the just buckets of clothes (literally, buckets) on top of and underneath the racks, who knows.

this is a dramatization of teen boy’s laundry hamper, not a way to sell clothing to people

Clothing quality varies pretty wildly store-wide: I guess there’s some fairly practical Ann Taylor-type office clothes mixed in with the other stuff, but also just a lot of raggedy-ass t-shirts no one wants.

Is a $1 t-shirt a good deal? If you’re just thirsty for mediocre t-shirts, sure. I could also hit up the 99 cent rack at the Village Discount Outlet or wait for 69 cent day at Salvation Army and get just as good a deal without having to go spelunking through a plywood casket of cotton blend bullshit. Also, this box is only about 70% t-shirts. Where did the other stuff come from and how much does it cost? Who knows.

The shoes section is deeply claustrophobic and poorly curated. These neat huaraches were my favourite thing probably in the whole store: too big, unfortunately.

Furniture: there’s a bunch of it. Items are mostly labelled by price. Most things seem a little overpriced for what could easily be an alley find. 

it’s no mirror-panelled faux-fur lined sex bed, but it’ll do

The haunted-warehouse lighting and lack of climate control are also a pretty significant weakness.

CLEANLINESS:

The store is a little funky, but not filthy. In terms of organization, it’s really more of a hoarder-themed haunted corn maze than it is a store.

the theme of this area is “sports”

the theme of this area is “junk drawer”

PRICING:

The first time I came here, I could have sworn I finally found a dusty plaque hidden back in the bookshelves that listed the prices of clothes by garment type. In my minds eye, they were between like $5 and $10 - not terrible - but the second time I visited, I did a few loops through the store looking for the same plaque and it had disappeared. To this day I’m not sure if that plaque is product of my imagination or if Green Element is subtly gaslighting me. I asked one of the store attendants if prices were listed anywhere: he looked at me blankly and told me that “he” (I assume the older white dude who’s always chatting with someone at the counter when you roll up) would assign the item a price at checkout.

Given that folks coming to thrift stores are often under some kind of financial stress and not in the mood to have to embarrassingly negotiate over a couple dollars at the register when an item is more expensive than they expected, this system pretty objectively sucks.

I did once try to actually purchase an item from this store. It was a pair of slightly linty black jeans I located somewhere in the stacks of clothes on top of the hanging racks. I took it to the counter and the guy told me they were $6. Sure, fine. I offered him my debit card, and he told me there was a $10 minimum for cards.

I’ve got nothing against cash minimums, especially for small businesses. Personally, I pretty strategically don’t carry more than like $5 in cash for mugging reasons, and also so that I’m not tempted to drop money on Mambas at every cash-only bodega I pass (when you like Mambas as much as I do, it adds up).

the knockoff foreign starburst of champions

But at Green Element, a store where most items are under $10, a $10 cash minimum is just sort of a barrier to any kind of financial transaction from going down. It’s just weirdly hard to buy a single item at this store, for no reason. Are we trying to do business here, or what?

It’s also possible that this is one of those stores where you’re supposed to haggle. Here’s the thing about haggling: I hate it and I don’t want to do it. Haggling at a thrift stores combines my people-anxiety with my money-anxiety to create an awful, anxious soup I have no intention of willingly brewing up when I’m trying to have a nice day of looking at quinceanera dresses.

WILDCARD FACTOR:

There is probably good stuff to be found here if you really, really (really) dig. Silvia found this lovely vintage yearbook.

what are kenny lavender & brandy soares doing today, i wonder

SALES & SPECIAL BARGAINS:

In order to research this topic, I took to Google to do some #investigativejournalism and found Green Element’s parent organization. This website sets off just about all of my somethin-be-shifty alarm bells. It might just be a cult.

but... are there sales?

I love a locally-specific independent thrift store with a social mission, but compared to its peers, Green Element comes out looking bad. It doesn’t have the charm, quality, or organizational transparency of Family Tree on Lincoln, or the straightforward mission and street cred of Brown Elephant. Also, it’s a cult, and also, I can’t find out if there are sales.

This rabbithole let me to Green Element’s Wix site, which yielded only more mysteries.

is this a sale or a trigger for a sleeper agent

Whether or not there are sales is still unconfirmed.

Until next time, stay thrifty.

[thriftchicago]

REVIEW: Three Stars Resale (Fullerton & Rockwell)

★★★★

Opulent housewares for crazed wealthy widows

Is it thrift? Probably not, but Three Stars bring the heat when it comes to purposeless glamour and niche vintage finery. If you’re passing through Logan Square, this store is worth the visit - even if you’re not going to buy any doll furniture or lucite ashtrays, this type of free entertainment has a special value at all its own. Also, I want their store motto written on my tombstone.

Ahead: My mom is a fifty-three-year-old art teacher: please picture her whispering “this is a great one for your BLOG” in front of a slightly chipped porcelain kitten figurine and you’ll get the general aesthetic of this store. -->

MAJOR STRENGTHS:

Everybody, I think, likes shopping for that one type of thing they can’t actually afford and probably don’t actually want. Personally, I like to sort by highest price on Sierra Trading Post, and look at all the whack outdoors gear the wealthy are purchasing.

this had better be the best goddamn crossbow

Shopping at Three Stars is a similar type of satisfying. Will I ever be able to afford any of these things? My only talents lie in the arts so honestly probably no. Will I ever be the type of person who would buy these sorts of things? Spending more than $20 on anything basically gives me a nosebleed so also probably no. But it’s fun to think about the kind of person I would be if I could/did (I would have a mysterious behind-the-scenes job at the Lyric Opera, and my name would be, like, Lorraine).

Case in point: This store offers a $1200 "flame-polished” lucite cocktail table. I’m not sure what that means but it sounds diesel.

When it comes to flame-polished lucite cocktail tables, that’s a real bargain. I checked!

Also available for purchase at this store are 2 (two) sterling silver samovars, and 3 (three) chrome-and-enamel sculptures of peacocks. I don’t know why these were made and whose idea it was, but I’m glad it happened. Where would you put a chrome peacock? I am not rich enough to even start thinking about it.

Maybe they flank the front door of your penthouse apartment, like opulent interior garden gnomes

There’s also, like, a jazzercise studio in the basement. One stop shopping!

Probably the most affordable and practical sections at this store are dishes and costume jewelry. If you want something a little bit special for your dining room or are really splurging on this year’s Halloween costume, I’d start hanging around this store and scoping out the seasonal sales.

MAJOR WEAKNESSES:

Three Stars pretty much exclusively sells housewares and furniture, so if you’re looking for anything else, don’t get your hopes up.

In terms of clothes, there’s a short rack of cool old mens’ jackets that might be of interest to larger masc types with expensive taste. I was too busy looking at racist dolls to care.

at $18 a pop these were the biggest bargains in the store, most likely because they’ll haunt you so right

ORGANIZATION & CLEANLINESS:

Three Stars has created a very tidy and visually attractive store experience. I can only assume they polish their chrome and brass treasure chests daily. 

simply yes

I guess there aren’t very deliberate sections to the store, but since part of the joy of the Three Stars experience is the journey through the store itself, I’m not mad about it. After all, it isn’t about the carved lucite paperweights you bought... it’s about the friends you made along the way.

PRICING:

Here’s my one thoughtful critical observation about this store: everything costs a lot more money then my minimum-wage, liberal-arts-degree-lookin-ass self can or ever will afford.

WILDCARD FACTOR:

Exploring Three Stars was one of the most fun thrift experiences I’ve had in a long time. My mom and I had a great time wandering from item to item being like “we’ll use this when we’re entertaining” and figuring out just where in our fantasy apartments we’d put every piece. My mom is a fifty-three-year-old art teacher: please picture her whispering “this is a great one for your blog” in front of this slightly chipped porcelain kitten figurine and you’ll get the general aesthetic of this store.

Lorraine would drill holes in this cat and use it as a toothbrush holder in her chic bathroom

SALES & SPECIAL BARGAINS:

There was a 25% seasonal sale on while I was there! I still did not buy anything!

It seems like the sale schedule is generally store-wide, seasonal,  and somewhat random. The lady running the register was very nice and accommodating (even though it was ABUNDANTLY clear my broke ass was not going to purchase anything) and if you ask, she will probably let you know if a sale is coming up.

MY BEST FINDS:

For some reason the thing that really just hooked me at this store was this nice Mission-style bookshelf made by some-or-other important craftsman, that, get this, rotates.

Lorraine would put her Kate Bush vinyls on one side and her art zine collection on the other side

It’s like a lazy susan for books! You can put it up against the wall or a couch but still be able to access your full collection! Why isn’t every single bookshelf built like this?!

Anyway, it costs like $300 and my birthday is in November.

Until next time, stay thrifty.

[thriftchicago]

REVIEW: Ragstock (Belmont & Halsted)

★★★

Take a journey through Forever 21 for grimy queer teens

Ah, Ragstock! This two-floored store, which sandwiches the Hollywood Mirror on Belmont like a shoddy mercantile reuben, is one of those weird joints that toes the line between thrift, vintage, and those half-empty stores on Lawrence that sell itchy, trendy clothes with anti-thievery tags from, like, Mexican K-Mart.

In its heyday, when the southern end of Boystown was still kind of skeezy, this store was a major player in the thrift/vintage scene that you could always count on for cool finds. Ragstock’s nasty glory has faded in recent years, but it still fills some very specific thrifty niches better than any other place in the city.

Ahead: high school musicals, Tears of a Coconut, and the violent & sprawling machine of capitalism -->

MAJOR STRENGTHS: 

First, let me just say, kimonos. In the juicier days of the mid-2000s, a good half of Ragstock was devoted to vintage wear and a good quarter of that half was just straight kimonos. Today, there’s a rack or two of ‘em, but they’re not quite as magical.

~ ✽✾✽✾✽✾✽✾✽ ~

My high school did The Mikado in 2008 and my mom costumed the entire show with kimonos and obis from both Ragstock locales (there’s another in Wicker Park). In this production, I played Apparently A Japanese Person #12. Evidently not a single person in the entirety of Chicago Public Schools who signed off on this production stopped for a moment to think, “it might be kind of weird for a bunch of kids who aren’t Japanese to just like, pretend to be Japanese.” Please know that I feel weird about it today as an adult woman.

But my kimono was sick.

I’m the one in orange with a blue obi. Going back thru Facebook to find this photograph ruined my whole day.

Ragstock sells a vast collection of cotton basics - fitted shirts, leggings, skirts - in a dizzying array of colors. They are like $5 apiece and will be completely shredded by the third time you put them through the washing machine. Also, if you wear these shirts in combination with the retired Secret deodorant flavours “Tears of A Coconut” or “Pubescent Vanilla Sunrise”, it will coat the whole sleeve area in a waxy, highly scented toxic soup that no detergent can remove.

This is also a decent place to find sundresses, short-alls, and joggers, a mix of vintage and sketchy-but-new, all of questionable quality, in the $8 to $20 range. Is this kind of a lot of money? The answer is yes.

For if your Lolla look this summer is “toddler with expensive taste”

All of this is on the upper floor. Deep below the Hollywood Mirror, in the mens’ section, there’s a good selection of union suit pajamas for very large people (I desperately want one of these in my size) and military surplus pants.

Apparently, having a phase where you go to every monthly midnight showing of Rocky Horror and then wallow in teenage malaise while drinking a milkshake at a 24-hour diner shaped like a boxcar at like 3am isn’t as common a thing among people who came up in the early 2010s as I thought, but if you’re someone for whom that phase is currently happening, I have good news: $8 lamè booty shorts. Also, IT GETS BETTER.

MAJOR WEAKNESSES:

The prices in this joint are a pretty spicy meatball considering the very mediocre quality of the clothes. The character of Ragstock has always kind of been “Forever 21 for grimy queer teens” so I’m not even that mad about it - the store has always embraced its own questionable quality.

I am a little irked by the truly nonsensical merchandise Ragstock has taken to stocking these days. I’m not sure if the store thinks I’m a complete dunderhead who would wear this merchandise earnestly, or if I’m supposed to be purchasing it ironically, as if buying things as a joke doesn’t perpetuate the sprawling & violent machine of capitalism to the same hideous degree as buying them normally.

I’m furious

There’s also a decent amount of stuff that looks like this.

the cartoon rabbit boy is my favourite character from popular culture

You can also buy, like, a foam Sriracha costume. Just know that if you wear it to your man Braden’s Wrigleyville Halloween party this October, you will actually be going as an Awful Causcasian Shitshow. 

CLEANLINESS:

Ragstock tends to be a pretty clean establishment. The lack of housewares and toys means way less childsnot and accumulated layers of ancient saliva, and almost all the used merchandise appears to have been washed before it is displayed, unless washing it would cause to it to completely dissolve.

PRICING:

Smaller items and gee-gaws might be $5, nicer stuff might be more like $15 to $20, really vintage stuff like the old prom dresses in the back corner might be like $30. None of it will last super long. If money is a sticking point, Ragstock is probably not your best option.

WILDCARD FACTOR:

Since its boujee renaissance, Ragstock has had lost some of its wildcard cred. However, there’s still fun to be had, especially if you tie in Hollywood Mirror, which is located on the street-level space of the Ragstock building. Most of your finds will be largely useless, but entertaining/terrifying.

Five Nights At Fraggles

This week, I was delighted to find a stash of vintage Japanese baseball jerseys in the mens’ section downstairs.

SALES & SPECIAL BARGAINS:

As far as I know, Ragstock has no regular tag-based sale system but I believe there are seasonal sales events. There are also clearance racks in both the womens’ and mens’ sections.

MY BEST FINDS:

Let’s look at that kimono again:

Yup, still offensive.

[thriftchicago]

REVIEW: Brown Elephant (Clark & Balmoral)

Better than slumming it at the Hip

★ ★ ★

Brown Elephant is a cool store that stocks cool things and benefits a cool cause. However, be warned: even its’ drool-inducing furniture section features lofty prices. While seriously frugal types might enjoy visiting the $1 records section, Brown Elephant toes the line between “thrift” and “vintage” and, in my view, comes down on the side of too damn expensive.

MAJOR STRENGTHS: In addition to high quality, well-curated clothing, and a really impressive display of real vintage and antique furniture, Brown Elephant does a lot of niche departments really well. All appliances and electronics can be tested in-store with help from a clerk, and you’re far more likely to find some really nice speakers here than you are sifting through the sketchy electronics at a VDO or Unique.

Housewares and dishes come in complete sets and are clean and in good repair. This is one of the only thrift stores I’ve been to where the jewelry section was, like, the real deal.

There are many other tiny gems of departments: The $1 record shelf is a dream for aspiring rhythm rouletters and the weird art corner was full of strange, tacky paintings I probably wouldn’t buy (especially given the prices) but liked looking at.

Across the whole clothing section, I found the dresses  and leather jackets to be the most impressive and fun to look through.

The store is stocked by donations from across the city and all profits go to the Howard Brown Medical Center, which provides cheap healthcare to people across the Chicago. They specifically provide a lot of LGBTQ-specific services that other free/sliding scale clinics don’t provide, which is very cool.

MAJOR WEAKNESSES:

The furniture here is nice, but due to the high prices, you’re probably going to want to do research before you purchase anything to make sure you’re actually getting a bargain. For example, I spotted a vintage shelf going for $125 that was screwed together Ikea-style and had a cheap fiberboard back - maybe not the greatest bargain.

The clothing department as a whole is very small: womens’ shirts, for example, only occupied about two four-foot racks. In womens’ clothes, the pants and jeans are “old school” in a way that is not positive if you’re just a run of the mill modern woman. Expect bell-bottoms and jazzy pockets.

Brown Elephant’s true Achilles heel is the pricing, which is quite high, storewide. More on that later.

CLEANLINESS: 

In terms of hygiene, Brown Elephant is off the charts in a good way. Everything smells nice and the store itself is clean.

In terms of organization, things are a little hazier. Maybe even a lot. All the tools for a well-organized clothing section were present, but just... not being used.

literally

This was kind of mystifying given how much Brown Elephant seems to pride itself on aesthetic. They write you a receipt on an old-school piece of paper, all the employees wear matching brown aprons, and the store itself is an amazing old Vaudeville/dollar movie theater that’s cool to just wander around in.

So why can’t someone just organize the pants by size? Or at least store them with the waistbands out, VDO style, so customers can tell read the tag without eviscerating the entire rack? Come on.

QUALITY:

Look. I’ve been given to understand that sometimes people will get invited to their friend’s wedding or a frat formal or something and as a result will visit a store to purchase a very nice piece of clothing specifically for that event. I have never experienced the desire to do this, personally, but if I did, I would go to Brown Elephant to cruise for nice dresses before I slummed it at The Hip (DATED REGIONAL REFERENCE ALERT) or schlepped my way to the Nordstrom’s downtown.

PRICING:

Brown elephant lays it all on the table when it comes to pricing:

This pricing scheme has the benefit of being simple, but it doesn’t make a ton of sense to me: a pair of deluxe J. Crew trousers costs the same amount as a pair of shady “tribal print” harem pants from Forever 21.

You might note that dresses aren’t on the pictured list. They’re individually priced, and range in cost from $20 to $50. Ouch.

Scanning through the clothes section, I noticed that a couple items that weren’t listed on the card (hats, scarves, some of the shoes and aforementioned dresses) also didn’t have individual price tags on them. Anyone who wanted to purchase them was going to have to go up to the front desk and talk to a clerk, which puts that customer in the awkward position of having to be all “oh, wow, okay, never mind” if something turns out to be outside of their budget. At a Village Discount, Unique, or mom-and-pop thrift joint, all customers are united in being broke-ass bargain-cruisers, but here amongst the Rogers Park Retiree set and the 28-year-old Graphic Designers set, I felt kind of weird about money, which is never how I want to feel at a thrift store.

By Chicago standards, these prices are pretty high ($8 for a sweatshirt?). If you’d rather pay more per item for a highly curated store experience then slum it at a VDO, that’s a completely valid choice, but I would argue this is hardly true thrift.

Onto furniture. The stuff Brown Elephant stocks is high quality, in good repair, genuinely vintage, and priced accordingly. Like, $50 to $450, priced accordingly. I have student loans, and just thinking about dropping four payments on a coffee table was making me nauseous.

I was trying to surreptitiously photograph the pricetag on an (overpriced) shelf when an employee came over and got to chatting with me. He started trying to hard sell me right away, which freaked me out, but he also immediately cut the price from $125 to $90. Haggling is definitely on the table here, if you’ve got the mental fortitude for it.

A terrible photograph taken just before I was accosted by a man in an apron

WILDCARD FACTOR:

Brown Elephant definitely stocks exciting stuff, but it’s like, old people exciting. I visited with my mom and she got very excited about vintage lampshades and a mink fur toque.

SALES & SPECIAL BARGAINS:

I don’t believe there’s any rotating sales system, like you’d find at a thriftier joint, but if you join the mailing list, you can be the first to know about surprise sales, seasonal sales and clearance events.

MY BEST FINDS:

If I’d bought anything, it would have been this set of porcelain pantry vessels, going for a cumulative $50. Unfortunately, I don’t have a pantry in need of porcelain just now.

My conclusion is that the Brown Elephant is a cool store, but it’s not truly thrift. It’s simply not cheap enough (or gnarly enough) to qualify. If I ever have a salaried job or figure out what a credit score is, maybe Brown Elephant will be more my speed. Until then, I’ll stick to cheaper pastures.

[thriftchicago]

REVIEW: Village Discount Outlet (Clark & Ainslie)

You call it nasty... I call it nostalgia

★ ★ ★ ★

This Village Discount Outlet, untouched by the bourg-erie of an increasingly yuppie-filled Andersonville, is full of old school charm, weird/wonderful finds, and if you’re willing to look for them, practical, well-priced clothes. Like most VDOs, this one is only as good as the effort you put into it.

MAJOR STRENGTHS:

A true pillar among the VDOs of the North Side, Andersonville’s “Village Classique” has vast section devoted to kids’ clothes, stocks great linens & textiles for your next sewing project, and has a sweaters section that’s somewhat legendary. I’ve accrued, overused, and re-donated dozens of cardigans over the years (especially during the great Cardigan Boom of 2011) and I never fail to be tempted by this place’s sweater aisle.

I also did not previously realize the scale of A-ville’s purse section. It’s huge. Some of them are nice!

This is half of it!

MAJOR WEAKNESSES:

What some might see as weaknesses I prefer to see as charming trips down memory lane that, okay, fine, are exceedingly inconvenient.

Housewares and toys are stored together and as a result baby snot is all over everything and whether you’re looking for rubber dinosaurs or Garfield mugs you’re probably going to get mono.

A sociological & microbiological petri dish

While many VDOs have forsaken the old ways and started storing shoes on shelves like adults, Andersonville plays it old school and hangs them above the trouser aisle, so that they can be hard to reach and also fall on childrens’ heads.

Are you under 5’5” and looking for shoes? How about you just DIE

Also, guys? We need to talk about the white tag section. I’ve previously discussed my distaste for overpriced, ugly stuff and the whimsical system of assigning value that VDO employs, but this section truly takes the cake. As soon as I turned into the white tag jeans, I was blinded by "rose” “gold” brass Baby Phat labels. And it got worse.

let’s not

american tragedy

CLEANLINESS:

The store smells thrifty and has that comforting VDO layer of grime, but unless you rub housewares all over your face you won’t contract any diseases.

Andersonville was one of the first Village stores to convert to hanging pants by the legs so that you can see the branding and size right away, like so:

This makes jeans and pants shopping much easier.

Like most VDOs, items are organized by colour, but not by size. You have to do a lot of sifting to find stuff you want, but as you get more experienced you’ll develop an eye for it. Picture yourself as a wise old thrift prospector combing the riverbeds of these harsh & frugal badlands. I recommend having a hazy vision of what you want (for example: dark brown skinny cords) but be willing to compromise and alter your thrift gestalt (ie, khaki skinny cords, dark brown cord bootcuts you could sew into skinnies).

QUALITY:

Storewide, quality is variable, but if you’ve truly entered the thrift zen zone this will not bother you. Don’t dwell on what you don’t like (ugly blazers, Cherokee turtlenecks with deodorant stains) and instead see the store through the filter of the best it has to offer. You will leave much happier, even if you don’t buy anything.

PRICING:

A typical VDO $2 to $6 dollars for normal fare: white tag is more like $4 to $12, but screw white tag.

WILDCARD FACTOR:

Over the years I’ve found tons of great stuff here and many North Side types swear by this particular spot in terms of weird, wonderful finds. On this particular trip I was tempted by a $6 sterling silver butter dish I didn’t really need and some mint classic Reeboks that were a touch too small.

Kitsch-wise, I found a water-stained deluxe edition of Beyonce’s B’Day, a bunch of old mirrors with hideous frames, several romance novels with incredible covers, and some truly astounding childrens’ books.

scuffy, what have those eyes seen

sequel: tootle’s ritual suicide

Plus, this store still has mini-bookshelves at the ends of aisles set up, while most VDOs have done away with this antiquity:

Classique!

SALES & SPECIAL BARGAINS: Standard VDO rules apply. Each item has a coloured tag, 2~3 tags are at 1/2 price every day, and there are frequent holiday 1/2 price sales. Don’t pull up too late in the day, or the good stuff will be gone.

MY BEST FINDS:

J. Crew toothpick cords, 26R, ~$4 (retail $70)

vintage knit cardigan, ~$2.50

Both of these are great items I’ve had for several years (those J. Crew cords have gotten me through many a job interview). Long live the A-ville VDO.

[thriftchicago]

REVIEW: Salvation Army (Montrose & Spaulding)

Lordly doings, festive couches, and an evening of broke-ass entertainment

★ ★ ★

This “family store” on the border of Albany Park and Avondale is less than a total package. However, when it comes to office clothes, furniture, and location, it’s is a major contender that serves certain demographics of the neighborhood well. 

Ahead: Thrift-based date ideas, deals & sales, and tutti-frutti armchairs -->

MAJOR STRENGTHS:

This Salvation Army features a moderately pleasant selection of officewear & blazers and a pretty good jeans selection if you’re a mall rat from 2009/The Gap is your dream brand. The dress section is practical and pretty dope. The furniture section is where the store really glows.

A clean, cool, and well-priced selection of couches, cushions, drawers, and shelving units awaits you

Another major strength is that this location is just a block away from local legend Marie’s Golden Cue, pictured here with the Salvation Army sign in the distance:

This sign is half a block from a funeral home, no joke!

Under their new ownership, Marie’s isn’t BYOB anymore (significantly subtracting from its previous “bring 2 Modelo tallboys and make a night of it” appeal), but an afternoon of thrifting plus some grungy-ass pool could be the broke-ass date idea of the century. The only con: this store is kind of boring.

Arguably a major strength of the Salvation Army in general is that the dough from your purchase is going to a charity rather than a straight-up profit-based business, like Unique and Village Discount Outlet. The regular pre-recorded messages played over the intercom in which they invite shoppers to “have a greatly blessed day” (even after telling you about their weekly 69¢ sale, I kid you not) it is clear that as an organization, they are pretty focused on preachin’ and teachin’.  By shopping at Salvation Army, you are probably helping finance drug recovery and food bank programs for whatever very specific demographics the Salvation Army thinks are worthy of their Lordly doings. A quick google search for “salvation army gay stuff” will fill you in on the hot charitable controversy regarding this. You can decide as a private citizen whether or not you care or if you just want to buy a Lane Bryant blazer on the cheap.

MAJOR WEAKNESSES:

Weaker areas include some lame menswear, a meager selection of kids’ clothes considering it’s a “family store”, and housewares, which is full of boring plate sets that are too expensive.

As I’ll discuss later, pricing and being boring are also areas where the Salvation Army struggles.

CLEANLINESS:

It’s fine. There are no changing rooms, and only one awkwardly placed mirror. It smells thrifty, but no section is remarkably dirty, and since there isn’t much of a toy section to speak of, baby germs aren’t a problem.

The store is poorly organized. Jeans and pants are hung with their waistbands in, so you can’t tell what size they are without pulling them out (my pet peeve), and aside from some rough organization by color in solid-coloured shirts, sweaters, etc., there’s no visible organization by size or colour anywhere else. This wouldn’t bother me in a more interesting store, but it really adds to the unique tedium of this particular location.

QUALITY:

This Salvation Army features some reliably decent yet boring merchandise. Items I took close looks at included some Banana Republic shirts, pretty recent H&M sweaters and pants, and just buckets of Ann Taylor. Work clothes for office people!

Furniture was the only thing that really had me feeling frisky. There were some truly thrilling couch and armchair bargains on display.

I can own this sturdy, well-kempt, tutti-frutti armchair for just $23? Sign me up.

PRICING:

Items at the Salvation Army cost between $3 for a mediocre shirt or skirt, and $25 for other, equally mediocre items. I don’t understand their pricing system at all. There are definitely better bargains to be had, citywide - with the possible exception of furniture, which ranged in price from $15 to $150. 

I don’t understand

WILDCARD FACTOR:

This store truly falls short when it comes to fun. I didn’t find anything cool or unexpected except for an orange couch, and the sections where I’d typically look for nostalgic gems - housewares, books & VHSes/DVDs, board games, sweaters - were practically non-existent. I think this store does a decent job serving the community and providing practical clothes for a very narrow type of professional, but it doesn’t have much of a personality.

SALES & SPECIAL BARGAINS:

Items are colour-coded by tag and one or two different tags are on sale at half price every week. Overhead announcements implied that if something was too expensive, I should wait however many weeks until it was on sale, then come back, which is a stupid idea, unless they turn over merchandise at a snail’s pace. Keen shoppers will note that Sunday/Monday are the ideal days to shop sale tags at the Salvation Army while the shelves are still flush with good stuff. I went on Friday, like a rube.

Every Saturday, one of the half-price tags becomes 69¢ for the day (why not make it an even 70¢? Honestly). The section will probably be pretty picked over by that point, but it might be worth a visit.

 I am given to believe that holiday sales happen.

MY BEST FINDS:

The only item I genuinely considered buying here was this Black Uniqlo three-season down jacket in a womens’ size S. It was priced at $19.99. There was a sticky something on one of the sleeves, a small tear necessitating patching on the right sleeve, and some slight wearing at the cuffs.

... Which, using various promotions on the Uniqlo website right now, I could get patch-and-stickiness free for probably $40 if I wait a couple weeks and winter’s not fashionable anymore, or if I cruise for coupons and go buy it live at the Uniqlo downtown.

I mean, I get that I’m ridiculous and this is like a third of the original price, but, you know, principles. Besides, I have a pretty serviceable down jacket and won’t need another one for another couple winters.

So that’s the Salvation Army: solid, but no better or more interesting than other neighborhood options in walking distance, like the Kedzie Village Discount. I’d pick this shop over Kedzie VDO only if I was shopping for furniture. Overall, you only have to look to nearby Family Tree Resale for a an example of a “family”-oriented, charitably-motivated shop that’s way more fun to patronize.

[thriftchicago]

REVIEW: Family Tree Resale (Lincoln & Winnemac)

Shoutout to the diaspora

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

Family Tree Resale, just north of Lincoln Square, pairs the cleanliness and well-curated quality of a “vintage” store with the pricing and culturally specific charm of a true thrift joint. It’s small, but mighty. 

Ahead: Imported goods, my finest finds, and the crucial q: what does “family store” even mean? -->

MAJOR STRENGTHS:  The star of the show over here is the sari & salwar kameez section, which catches your eye even from the street. It comprises two full aisles of the tiny store, is restocked frequently, and is arranged in incredible rainbow order.

Drool. By the way, I support people from everywhere using saris and salwar kameez parts in creative ways but remember that these are culturally important garments to lots of people, and that you owe the diaspora big time for the beautiful & comfortable textiles you are lucky to be able to access. Your trendy foreign pant-wearing is a tacit endorsement of your immigrant neighbours’ rights; don’t be a hypocrite in the streets, or in the voting booth!

The blouses section is full of cool & work appropriate tops, the dresses are classy & well curated, and the womens’ coats, hats, scarves, and gloves are colorful and clean. Menswear is small but slick. If I was costuming a murder mystery, looking for new work clothes, or trying to outfit my little brother for a wedding or a job at a midcentury accounting firm, I’d start at Family Tree.

Cool, functional ties in the menswear section.

The prices in the furniture section border on “vintage”, but that’s because they’re often genuine antiques. The electronic/appliance section is small, but you can take an item home, test it, and return it if it doesn’t work out. If you’ve got a little to spend on unique but functional pieces, Family Tree is definitely where it’s at.

This picture is slightly blurry because I was trembling at the prospect of owning  a matching set of these chairs for just $30

Family Tree is one of the few thrift stores advertising itself as a “family store” that isn’t a) filthy or b) boring. In my experience, most “family stores” are either full of screaming children or stock an annoying amount of maternity clothes that are not sufficiently separated from the non-maternity clothes. Maybe because the toys section has an extra-high shelf so visiting kids can’t grab/chew whatever they want, or maybe because the store seems to try to stock analog, old school toys, it is actually a very pleasant section where I’d consider getting a toy for a kid, rather than a germy pit of nightmares. Kids’ clothes are also clean and well-curated and don’t look quite as “thrifty” as the average merchandise at Village Discount outlet, if your kids are self-conscious about money stuff. I bought a Patagonia snap-up thing there in a Boys S (a boys size S is a me size YES) for $6.50. Yeah!

apparently you have to read all these to qualify for having a baby

MAJOR WEAKNESSES: It’s cold in there in the winter, and the curtains on the changing rooms are alarmingly transparent.

The denim and womens’ trousers sections are bold but geared toward the type of woman who likes a flared jean and a mustard tweed. If you’re costuming a version of “9 to 5″ set in 1996, this is your spot. If you just want some normal work pants, yikes.

I brought my brother here to assess the menswear section, and he reported that while the pants and shirts were well-curated and organized, the men’s sweaters section was “pretty weak”.

CLEANLINESS: Here’s how clean Family Tree Resale is: one time, I considered purchasing an item from the lingerie section.

Another time, I wore a sweater I bought there... without washing it first.

QUALITY: I was astounded to hear that this shop is 100% stocked by individual donors. Who are these classy people who have tons of nice-ass clothes to drop off at this tiny local thrift store on a weekly basis? Honestly, I’m suspicious. Did an ancient fashionista die and is this store a stipulation of her will, tasked with distributing all her fab shit to the people of the Chi?

PRICING: A wide range of prices to be found here, $2.50 to $20, maybe more for really special items. They’re priced according to quality and brand in ways that make a surprising amount of sense (compared to Village Discount or Unique, where I assume a tasteless robot does all the pricing).

This shop also has a cool system where donators can earn “points” for local non-profits and schools and the shop will send out store vouchers to those organizations, that are in turn given to families in need. According to DNAinfo, unused donation stock is either sent to secondary NGOs that distribute it in third world countries, or recycled. Hell yeah! This specific, locally-based giving, controlled by small organizations I trust, is the kind of resale/charity blend I'm into (moreso than the long and indiscriminately powerful arm of the Salvation Army). Be sure to shout out to a charitable partner if you donate to Family Tree.

WILDCARD FACTOR: Off the damn charts. All the special finds at this place have a kind of useful yet aesthetic charm to them, much like the store itself. The first time I came here, the guy at the counter offered me 50% off on a mine inspector’s respirator kit from the 1970s and I was so excited I almost bought it, even though I’m not a miner and it’s 2017. Another time, I found a special foot for my mom’s sewing machine specifically for attaching ruffles. There’s just a basket of old sewing patterns in the back. There’s weird art, cool dish sets - how about some commemorative bald eagle porcelain, or a green cut-glass punchbowl? - and the number of times I’ve been tempted to buy this compact pump organ for just $500... boy.

The perfect broke-ass gift for your friend who loves musicals. Repackage in a fake Hamilton DVD case for best results.

I mean...

SALES & SPECIAL BARGAINS: Ask for a frequent customer card and you’ll get a 15% discount with every purchase. Score!

Different sections are periodically 50% off, but I haven’t been able to figure out the pattern as of January 2017. Ask about the mailing list at checkout to get in the loop.

MY BEST FINDS:

Eliza J tea dress, size 2 ($14, retail value ~$130)

United Colors of Benetton olive green wool coat, size EU 40 ($9.50, retail value $100)

Cool slouchy imported pants  ($5, retail value ???, comfort value INCALCULABLE)

I’ve got an almost-identical pair that I wear to work as an industrial/scenic painter - they’re lightweight and you can squat in them, but they cover your whole leg area from airborne paint and don’t expose your butt to the world. Imported pants forever! Shoutout to the diaspora.

Despite it’s small size, Family Tree has achieved excellence in almost every area. It’s completely fucking dope and I have no qualms about inducting it into the Five Star Club.

This is a cornucopia of roof-raising babies who support my decision.

[thriftchicago]

REVIEW: Village Discount Outlet (Kimball & Lawrence)

Catch VD* ★ ★ *Village Discount

A supremely claustrophobic and grimy location, the Village Discount Outlet on Lawrence succeeds as a sociological study along the lines of the Stanford Prison Experiment, but largely fails to provide merchandise to consumers that is pleasant to wear. There are flakes of gold on the bottom of this ol’ riverbed, but boy, you’ve gotta sift to find it.

Ahead: Noam Chomsky, bread machines, and avoiding getting stabbed in the sweater aisle -->

MAJOR STRENGTHS:

My brother claims he finds good pants here. Frankly I’ve seen his pants and they aren’t that great. Every time I’ve ever taken a shirt off the rack to see if I like it, it’s been a size XL. So if you’re a womens’ XL and you fucking love denim shirts plastered with appliques, congratulations. Finally, there are never less than five bread machines in the appliances section. Do they work? I don’t know. Buy all five and you’re bound to get lucky.

Eye Spy: Bread Machine edition

MAJOR WEAKNESSES:

In a recent article in the New York Times, Alexandra Lange expounded on an aspect of design that has long fascinated creative people: collaborative architecture. Lange touches on MIT’s legendary Building 20, an unassuming, temporary structure for faculty offices and labs that became the home of some of the most important scientific thought of the mid-20th century. Technically, it was poorly designed. Bathrooms were located at the end of circuitous hallways, offices and floors were confusingly and inconsistently labelled, walls were thin, floors were squeaky. But serendipitously, by forcing people to meet in the hallways as they tried to get from place to place, and by lending itself to creative modification, it became a hotbed of collaborative thought. Noam Chomsky worked on his most important theories in Building 20. Morris Halle invented the field of linguistics in Building 20. Modern nuclear physics were developed in Building 20.

How does this relate to the Village Discount on Lawrence?

While Building 20 accidentally fostered collaboration, this particular Village Discount accidentally fosters conflict. Through its shitty, shitty design.

You enter through a weird vestibule and have to walk deep into the store before you can actually turn into an aisle of clothing. You are effectively consumed by the store. All the aisles look like this:

Does this aisle look just wide enough to fit two carts? Psych. It fits exactly 1.8 carts widthwise, so you have to weirdly shimmy past another person and shove your body and cart up against the clothes to get by, enthwarping yourself in a smelly, soft cave of XL Mossimo flannel.

The aisles are also weirdly long and seem to never end. This store ranks #1 for thrift stores where I’ve encountered moms and teenage daughters arguing about tube tops. Another time, a guy came in and made a verbal bomb threat while I was checking out (”I should bomb this place,” he said). The cashier rolled her eyes and continued to bag my sweaters and nobody did anything.

When I went back to this store one more time to make sure it was truly as awful as I remembered, one of the cashiers was loudly talking about her co-worker, an “old Indian man” named “Archeerio” (I highly doubt this was actually his name) to another cashier.

“Could you talk to me for him?” she said. “Do you speak his language?”

“I think he speaks English,” said the other cashier.

“But could you talk to him in his language for me?”

Good god.

Let me qualify, this building is surrounded on all sides by pleasant locations that are a credit to the neighborhood. Albank! Several taquerias of excellent repute! The very nice Cafe Chien! But for some reason, it’s just a smouldering pit of the very worst that humanity has to offer.

CLEANLINESS:

This is the shoe aisle of VDO Lawrence on a good day. 

“The Lone Ugg”, 2017

“Shattered Dreams,” 2017

QUALITY:

Maybe the VDO on Kedzie gets all the good donations or something, because most of the merchandise here is uniformly of poor quality. Even a trip to the dumb white tag section (”better” clothes) yielded mostly Forever 21 and some overpriced bullshit.

I don’t care if “CHAPS” made it, I will never in my life purchase something from a VDO for $48. Also, I checked the tag: it’s faux. PRICING:  The typical VDO $2 to $10, with the typical VDO inconsistency in pricing scheme. There will be Banana Republic linen button-ups (not in your size, of course) priced at $3 and Forever 21 t-shirts priced at $5. None of it will make any sense.

WILDCARD FACTOR: The wildcard factor at this store is that people might try to fight each other in the parking lot. Exciting!

I have heard that good things can be found here (from someone who is my kindest and most forgiving friend, to be fair). Personally I have rarely experienced this, but I believe that at any thrift store there are good things to be found if you’re patient.

SALES & SPECIAL BARGAINS: The usual VDO rules apply: all items have coloured tags, and 2 to 3 colours are at 1/2 price every day. The store publicizes its’ holiday 1/2 price sales pretty well and they happen at least once a month, so keep your ear to the ground, but not literally the ground of this store because you’ll get an ear infection and probably a family of spiders living in there.

MY BEST FINDS:

I think I got my favorite sizeless Bass penny loafers at this store:

I do love them dearly, so that’s something good to be said .

And back in the day I owned a pair of black/grey zip-legged skinny jeans from Avril Lavigne’s clothing line (ABBEY DAWN!) that came from VDO Lawrence.

Honestly, part of me fears that I’ve found the worst thrift store in Chicago and rated it too high. At this point someone would have to stab me in the sweater aisle of a thrift store for me to have a one-star experience (stabbed in a thrift store is also 100% probably the way I’ll die).

But I’m sure there’s some nasty treasure trove of horrors lurking somewhere, in, like, Chatham, just waiting for me to hate it.

[thriftchicago]

REVIEW: Unique (Elston & Kimball)

Quality... has a price.

★★★★

For a slightly higher price point than your average Village Discount Outlet, Unique’s Avondale location provides shoppers with a wide range of merchandise in a clean and well-organized store. It’s less charmingly neighborhood-specific than some other spots around the city, but excels in almost all areas as far as utility and quality.

Ahead: Sales, punch-cards, assessing the wildcard factor, and my recent best finds --->

MAJOR STRENGTHS: Unique’s best, most consistent departments include denim (a brief but well-curated section where it’s easy to find your size) office clothes, dresses, winter coats, furniture and fabrics/bedding (where my mom fuels her dress-making addiction with incredibly cheap shower curtains and straight up bolts of fabric you can buy for cents to the yard).

To my mom, these tablecloths are all Edwardian gowns waiting to be sewn.

Unique also has the distinction of being one of the best-organized stores in the city. Sections are well-labelled (knit tops, long-sleeved blouses, sleeveless blouses, etc) and organized by size, so it’s easy to peruse whatever sizes are most likely to fit you without having to sift through stuff that is way to big/small.

MAJOR WEAKNESSES: Lack of personality? Weird, corporate vibe? Those fucking smug & obsequious recorded announcements from the perspective of a grotesquely manufactured everywoman who’s constantly rock hard for all accessories (leather purses!!)?

I guess there’s not much (objectively) to criticize at Unique. In recent years, they’ve been acquired by a different parent company, which has led to some changes, including the sales of some actual non-resale goods like winter gloves and cheap costume jewelry, and the addition of a seasonal section where they sell much sought after “ugly Christmas sweaters” and Halloween costumes for common thrift rubes who don’t want to spend any time looking for things themselves. I guess it’s their job to yield to the consumer, but it rubs me the wrong way. The toys section is still pretty nasty and oft-exposed to childrens’ grubby hands & faces, and the menswear section tends to be boring and picked-over.

CLEANLINESS: Right down to the red-and-white colour scheme, Unique feels a lot like your average urban Target these days, and you can expect about a Target level of dinginess in the newly-added changing rooms. One time a man was talking to himself and having a loud sneezing episode in the stall next to me, but baby, that’s just Chicago.

QUALITY: It takes way less work to sift through the bad stuff at Unique, because the bad stuff doesn’t make it to the shelves. So many of the donations they intake are recycled or re-sold to other organizations, only the best, most wearable stuff ends up in the store itself. Most of the back room is devoted to breaking down unwanted clothing and recycling it or sending it off to a secondary facility - it’s like a wild assembly line back there, complete with a bird’s nest where the foreman watches happenings on the floor, from above. Panopticonic!

If I was shopping for office clothing - womens’ blouses and blazers, especially - Unique would be my first stop. It would also be near the top of the list for furniture and electronics, were I furnishing a new apartment. Unique in Avondale is one of the few non-sketchy spots in Chicago where you can buy a trustworthy table, and plug in/try out a new set of speakers before you buy them. Even the coffee makers in the housewares section are clean enough to purchase with minimal risk of ancient bean-borne botulism. Follow your nose!

White cushions & faux wicker? Call your grandma all ready.

WILDCARD FACTOR: The downside to the carefully curated merchandise is that you won’t find much that’s wild or out of the ordinary here, aside from predictably “ugly” sweaters and some comical seasonal knick-knacks. Keep your eyes peeled for ethnically specific romance novels (Lanelle Roberts was a proud and independent defense lawyer who did everything by the books... until luscious club promoter Dante Jackson came into her life) and take a glance at that VHS aisle for some classic films about sharks, but otherwise there’s not much to be found as far as the truly ridiculous.

There is real gold to be found at Unique if you’ve got the patience and follow-through to visit regularly. Most of the thrills and chills of the Unique experience come from finding really nice stuff at stupid good prices. It’s a store for the mature shopper.

A note: there are almost always high quality used roller blades in kids’ sizes back by electronics and housewares. If there’s a youth in your life or you have dainty, childlike feet, consider yourself bladed.

PRICING: The average item is $3 to $10. Very solid by Chicago metropolitan standards.

SALES & SPECIAL BARGAINS: Mondays are half-price. Keep your eyes peeled for additional holiday half-price events - they’re regular, but not as frequent and well-advertised as your average Village Discount Outlet sale. At checkout, ask about punchcards for frequent customers.

There was once a color-coded tag system but I think it’s been retired.

MY BEST FINDS:

Pendleton cableknit sweater, M ($1.99 (half-price), retail value ~$90)

Cool imported reversible bedspread & pillowcase (~$7, retail value ???)

Birkenstocks, EU37 (~$6, retail value ~$98)

Strom jeans, 25/36 (~$6, retail value ~$189, value in making my butt look good INCALCULABLE)

I’m not remotely a 36 inseam, but it’s worth the multiple cuffs for these very nice jeans. God bless whatever tall drink of water donated these.

In sum, Unique gets the job done, and is consistent in quality and cleanliness, but lacks regional specificity and true wildcard excellence.

[thriftchicago]

REVIEW: Village Discount Outlet (Kedzie & Irving Park)

  It’s always someone’s quinceanera at the Village Discount Outlet. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

(image credit: Google user Lee Klawans, who fucking gets it) The Village Discount Outlet at Kedzie & Irving Park is one of the pillars of the Chicago thrift scene. It’s extremely cheap, extremely well-stocked, and full of hidden treasures. Village Discount Outlet is a big midwestern chain, but the Kedzie location works hard to serve Albany Park at a local level: the availability of uniform pieces for neighborhood schools, the multilingual staff, and the cool hodgepodge of ethnic clothes mixed in with the day-to-day stuff reflects the neighborhood’s unique cultural makeup. While it’s a little shabby, the features that strike some as crusty - the overhead announcements from the doddering regional safety coordinator, the constant soundtrack of terrible country music, the unattended children wandering the aisles - are part of the store’s special character.

Ahead: best departments, special deals & sales, and my personal best finds --->

MAJOR STRENGTHS: The store features a huge, diverse selection of clothes and shoes at extremely low prices, with the average item costing between 99¢ and $6. Best sections include bedding, dishware, menswear, shoes (one of the best places on the North Side to find mens’ wingtips, golf shoes, and penny loafers in womens’ sizes) formalwear (see: the store’s unofficial motto) and sweaters, where you never know what bejeweled, appliqued magic you’ll find.

MAJOR WEAKNESSES: It takes a pro to shuffle through the overwhelming amount of confusingly organized merchandise: don’t expect to master the Village Discount in one trip. By general rule, solid-coloured clothes are organized by colour, but not by size. In sections with print, chaos reigns. There’s a semblance of organization by length and size in the skirts and jeans sections, but boy, it’s a semblance. I say, enter with a hazy vision of what you’re looking for (for example, a rose-pink velvet t-shirt) but be open to different possibilities (a mossy green velvet t-shirt; a rose-pink velvet shirt with long sleeves).

Worst sections include toys, electronics (which has not been restocked since approximately 1999 and where crusts of old batter still cling to the consigned waffle irons) and the upscale white tag section, which sometimes has good stuff but I object to on principle.

CLEANLINESS: In most sections of the store, cleanliness is mediocre. You’ll definitely come out smelling like a thrift store, but you won’t get Hep C from trying on items in the aisles. There are no changing rooms, so this is totally acceptable. Wear leggings and a slim-fit shirt for best results.

The exception to the moderate cleanliness rule is the toys section. Here, you will inevitably happen upon a mom with eight to twelve children and one of them will have the leg of a plush Elmo in their mouth which the mom will casually put back on the shelf like it’s not sodden with childspit. Don’t buy any toys here for a baby... that you like. If you have an enemy baby, this is the perfect place to shop for shower gifts.

My mom bought approximately 90% of the things I wore as a child here and they were great, so don’t fear the kids’ clothes, unless you don’t want your kid to wear bike shorts and christmas print turtlenecks under their hand-knitted sweaters every day and look really fucking cool.

yowza

QUALITY: The quality of items is variable. For every pit-stained, pilled up Mossimo cardigan, there’s a pristine pin-tucked linen blouse hiding somewhere in the cream section of the collared shirt aisle. In my opinion, this only increases the thrill of the hunt.

Controversially, Village Discount has introduced the “white tag” to their colour-coded tagging system, in lieu of the previous “better” section. These are supposedly “high quality” items at a higher price point ($8 as opposed to $4), but it kind of takes the fun out searching for the good stuff, and their idea of what is “high quality” is hilariously variable. Just because a polo shirt has a giant horse embroidered on it or says “FERRARI” in huge red iron-on letters doesn’t mean it’s inherently valuable, and also, no one wants flared, distressed jeans in the year 2017, even if they’re True Religion. 

Valuable items that the white taggers often miss are cashmere sweaters, more stylish Levis & American Eagle skinny jeans, and unique, unlabelled vintage stuff.

PRICING: White tag aside, Village Discount items tend to fall between 99¢ and $6, which is very, very good for the Chicago metropolitan area.

WILDCARD FACTOR: Wild shit I’ve found, or participated in finding, at the Kedzie Village Discount Outlet include a complete unopened home “molecular” hair-curling system from 1989, several full-fur coats (one with a Cruella de Ville-esque cigarette holder still in the pocket), a vast collection of rare large-print, Christian-themed romance novels, a vaster collection of ~nasty~ ones, and a couple of pretty incredible handcrafted steins. You can try on quinceanera dresses all day long. There are also some amazing, terrible vinyls back behind the menswear section. Adventure is a constant at the Village Discount Outlet.

In this 1997 classic (purchased in 2009), a woman named Fritzi Fitzgerald gets worked over on a bearskin rug.

SALES & SPECIAL BARGAINS: The store uses a system of coloured tags. Every day, two to four tags are half-price. There are also frequent half-price or buy-one-get-one holiday sales (show up early for these!).

MY BEST FINDS: It’s hard to pick a few best finds, because really, just about all the basics in my shirt drawer are from the Kedzie Village Discount, and have been since 2006. Here are some highlights:

Levi’s superlow skinny jeans, size 3M ($3, retail value: ~$50)

Cool imported sandals, size ~6.5 (2.99, retail value ???)

it’s winter, okay

Luol Deng Bulls Jersey, Boys M ($7, retail value ~$50)

American Rag Cie coat, womens’ M ($7, retail value ~$100)

Overall, a spectacular store with tons to offer.