the freak in your dni

Hi, I'm [ERROR] and I like long walks on the beach, my cats, and disgusting fiction. Don't call me cishet. Transmeds/anti-feminists, radfems, and radqueers not welcome.

[tired-fandom-ndn]

quick "about me" post

I'm pro-fiction, pro-kink, pro-bodily autonomy, and a radical inclusionist (NOT r.adqueer).

Most people just call me Tired or Error, either one is fine. I'm fine with being referred to with any neutral pronouns. Do not use gendered language for me.

Anon is always on for my inbox; if you send a message off anon and want it responded to privately, include that in the ask please, otherwise everything gets posted.

I almost never answer DMs on here. Mutuals and people who interact with me frequently can ask for my discord off anon, but I go on long isolation sprees where I just do not talk to people. It's not you, it's me. Sorry!

You all have blanket permission to use anything I post as inspiration for fics/art/whatever. You don't need to ask me if it's okay or give me credit, but if you want to shoot me a link to the finished product, it would make me happy.

I'm not on any other social media except an aethy I don't really use (@tired_fandom_ndn). Anyone claming to have interacted with me on twitter, instagram, tiktok, etc is lying.

I'm NDN/Native. No, you do not need to know my tribe. Yes, I will absolutely call you out on cultural appropriation and racism.

I use general fandom tags for organization on my own blog. If you see one of my gross and/or shipping posts in a fandom tag, it is not a personal attack on you. Block me. It's okay.

tags to block: #ua, #noncon, #dubcon, #shipcest, #whump tag

hard limits: link

inbox count: 99 😔

icon credit: @.swettxdamelio

[tired-fandom-ndn]

You know, I was thinking that there are probably at least a couple hundred state alchemists in Amestris but in retrospect, thinking about how much they're paid (Shou Tucker was providing NOTHING with his research and still lived in a mansion and Ed is obviously loaded) and how much skill it really takes to pass the exam and keep the license every year, there were probably less than 100 at the PEAK of the government hunting down alchemists to employ. Maybe even closer to 50, especially when they weren't being recruited to commit genocide and/or be human sacrifices. Huh.

[badpersonboogie]

...Now I'm wondering how many "hobby" alchemists they are and if any alchemists are hired for purifying water and weapon manufacturing?

[tired-fandom-ndn]

You and me both!!!!

I talked about this in another post like yesterday or the day before, but I do think that there are a ton of "everyday" alchemists who only know how to do a handful of small things based around daily needs!

Household alchemists who repair clothes and broken dishes, make home decor look nicer, etc. "Luxury" alchemists who do things like add gold detailing to tea sets, fancy embroidery to fabric, and other pretty but unnecessary things (they're usually household alchemists too, they just know how to market themselves). Local carpenter and construction alchemists who use alchemy to reinforce old buildings and bridges, repair broken stairs and railings, fill in potholes, add ramps to buildings, etc. Mechanic alchemists who do local repair work on radios, cars, and other fiddly machinery that even most state alchemists won't mess with. And yeah, lots of non-state alchemists employed by the government and corporations to work in factories and labs for things like manufacturing, building machines for commercial and government use, etc.

There are probably so many people who only know a tiny bit of alchemy but that tiny bit is exactly enough for their own needs.

[tired-fandom-ndn]

You know, I was thinking that there are probably at least a couple hundred state alchemists in Amestris but in retrospect, thinking about how much they're paid (Shou Tucker was providing NOTHING with his research and still lived in a mansion and Ed is obviously loaded) and how much skill it really takes to pass the exam and keep the license every year, there were probably less than 100 at the PEAK of the government hunting down alchemists to employ. Maybe even closer to 50, especially when they weren't being recruited to commit genocide and/or be human sacrifices. Huh.

[browniefox]

We don’t talk enough about how fanfiction writers love to give character large amounts of non-specific paperwork they hate doing

[streamofsalmon]

say more pls

[browniefox]

Yeah sure why not.

So most stories take place when Events are Happening, and this means that no matter what kind of job the characters have, they’re probably not too focused on them. Fanfics, on the other hand, often show the down time. Which means that the writer has to figure out what the hell these characters do in their jobs. Unless the characters have a job the author understands or knows well, the author is often at a loss for what to have the character doing.

So they sit them at a desk and give them paperwork. What is the paperwork for? Rarely specified. It is Paper Work for the characters Important Adult Job they have and they need to read or sign it or something. And there’s always a line about how Character Hates Paperwork. Doesn’t matter if Character is a Mafia Boss or a General or a Diplomat, here they are in an office trying to get out of Doing Paperwork.

There’s also a sense of, like, humor and mundanity that comes with it. Like the examples above, it always particularly stands out to me when a dangerous individual is griping about some paper they need to sign or something. The less you can picture Character doing paperwork, all the better to force it upon them. If Character is saddled with Paperwork, they’re usually now concerned about the physical damages their motley crew causes, because damage = More Paperwork.

Anyway I just think it’s fun or funny, Sephiroth doing paper work and Sawada Tsunayoshi doing paper work and this just in, Tony Stark is doing paperwork. Sorry, Phoenix Wright can’t play right now. Yeah, it’s paperwork.

[elumish]

A very non-exhaustive list of actual paperwork they could be completing/reviewing/approving, in no particular order:

Timesheets

Expense reports

Requisition requests

Budget justifications

Payroll

Performance evaluations

Incident reports

After action reviews / post-mortem analyses

Incident Action Plans

Contracts

Contract proposals / grant applications

Reports / briefings

[redwingedwhump]

Your Royalty or Nobles in your feudal society should be doing this constantly unless you want to show how they're losing the kingdom and about to be usurped or overthrown.

petitions, speech-writing, complaints, requests, assignations, disputes, judiciary forms, declarations that need signing off on, matters requiring the Royal seal, matters requiring a royal endorsement, pardons, judgments, invitations, rebuttals, census data, crop yields projected or actual, livestock records, water rights, Sumptuary laws, taxes taxes taxes...

[val-ritz]

solid point there!

even when the royalty look like they're just fucking off to have fun, they're doing Socially Mandated Fuck-Off and Have Fun Time

Tournaments? Gotta show you're manly and virile through sport, or the nobles will supplant you. Feasts? Gotta show you're wealthy through conspicuous consumption, or the nobles will supplant you. Patronizing the arts? Gotta show you're cultured and erudite, or the nobles will laugh at you behind your back and probably supplant you.

[delicatefury]

Lawyer here. Here’s some more mundane/modern ones for you:

Invoices.

Intake sheets (information about new clients. The one for my firm is 13 pages and requires an hour long meeting. Then you have to do something with the info gathered)

Data entry for invoices and intake sheets.

Billing. (More involved than timesheets because you’re justifying to clients why you’re getting paid so much).

Form letters.

Taxes. Including 1099s for any contracted work.

Bank statements/accounting spreadsheets. Gotta track how expenses are trending.

Insurance documents.

General messages. Lots of office still use a paper system for missed calls and “important” stuff because it just works better than emails and chats for some people.

Memos. Big enough office to have at least one attorney on payroll? You’re getting memos about every legal question and concern and contract. It’s how we’re trained to communicate in formal settings.

[letslipthehounds]

And if you want to get into modern military, the forms are numbered, and people will refer to them by either their actual name, or the number. (Have you filled out the 4187 for this? Yes, I filled out the personnel action form.)

The military has so many forms.

[leebrontide]

If you want to add a rage level, there’s the Regular Paperwork and then the special hell of Fuckup Paperwork.

Cause there’s the invoice, and the follow up invoice and the we are about to have a problem follow-up invoice.

There’s the incident report and then the I swear I yelled at that worker about this don’t be mad at me if they do it again second warning documentation

The requisition form and the it has been six months now get me the fucking thing or you’re gonna hear from Cindy escalations form.

Paperwork has layers and protocols and backups.

[dancing-thru-clouds]

For law firms, there's also the 'I am asking nicely for you to send me this legally mandated document' and then the follow-up 'My please was a social nicety, I am no longer asking, I am telling you to send me this document or explain to a court why you refuse to do so' which, depending on the type of law, can fill a significant amount of the day

[tired-fandom-ndn]

Obsessed with Van Hohenheim because he is this looming and grim figure for so much of the series and then he's actually fully introduced and he's always just like 😟 and 😧

[tired-fandom-ndn]

Something I wish FMA explored more is casual, daily alchemists. People who maybe aren't skilled enough to become State Alchemists but who know enough about making transmutation circles and about the general things around their homes to use alchemy for the little stuff. Household alchemists who use alchemy to get scuffs out of wood furniture, fix clothes, make bedding and table cloths and curtains look a bit fancier, repair broken dishes, make toys for their children, all the little inconveniences of daily life.

They've gotta exist. I know they do.

[tired-fandom-ndn]

To continue with my headcanon that Trisha was a seamstress, I bet Ed and Al practiced their detailing by watching their mom embroider and then examining her finished pieces and trying to replicate the stitches with alchemy. She would go over all their attempts and point out the differences between her hand-sewn embroidery and their alchemized version and the faults that come with not doing it by hand so that they could recognize their blind spots and improve.

[tired-fandom-ndn]

Something I wish FMA explored more is casual, daily alchemists. People who maybe aren't skilled enough to become State Alchemists but who know enough about making transmutation circles and about the general things around their homes to use alchemy for the little stuff. Household alchemists who use alchemy to get scuffs out of wood furniture, fix clothes, make bedding and table cloths and curtains look a bit fancier, repair broken dishes, make toys for their children, all the little inconveniences of daily life.

They've gotta exist. I know they do.

[tired-fandom-ndn]

Best dynamic for Leverage OT3 is when Parker and Eliot do straight up kill people and Hardison is just like

[tired-fandom-ndn]

The Locked Tomb fandom really fucking hates tagging spoilers, huh. Like I have never been in a fandom that is so resistant to tagging even the biggest spoilers.

[hopefulqueer]

I really appreciate how in The Queen's Gambit Job, they didn't try to have a reveal where Nate could actually beat all of the chess grandmasters without cheating. Like, yeah, Hardison can actually play the Scheherazade solo perfectly because his nerves were what got in his way and he got hypnotized out of that, sure. Sophie can identify the exact percentage and location of origon of cocoa beans in a piece of chocolate, why not, that makes sense. Eliot has almost-perfect pitch and can sing and play the guitar, that doesn't surprise me. Parker can pull off the White Rabbit for real, of course she can. But they didn't pull that trick with Nate and the chess tournament, and I really liked that. He's really good at chess, yeah, but not grandmaster level. They had to play dirty and cheat to get him in the finals against Olivia. In all of those other situations where the rest of the team doubted another member's abilities, Nate never had any doubt. Nate knows what they *all* can do, and that includes knowing that he isn't magically good enough to win those games without help, because even though chess is "his game", his REAL game is not played with chess pieces. It's played with People. His people. And he knows all of the moves they can make. He always knows how to win on that board.

[tired-fandom-ndn]

It's actually crazy that Hirsch had Stan driving around in a car with a STNLYMBL license plate for the entire fucking show.

[tired-fandom-ndn]

I knew that an entire generation of the Ninth House was wiped out by Harrow's parents but I didn't realize that was the end. I thought at least a few more children would've been born after that, but no. Palleamena and Priamhark were so determined to conceive not just a child but a necromancy prodigy that they doomed their entire fucking House, apparently without even a second thought. What the fuck.

[tired-fandom-ndn]

Okay so Ianthe definitely knows something about why Harrow's memory is fucked and probably had something to do with it, with Harrow's consent? Hmm.

[tired-fandom-ndn]

I knew that an entire generation of the Ninth House was wiped out by Harrow's parents but I didn't realize that was the end. I thought at least a few more children would've been born after that, but no. Palleamena and Priamhark were so determined to conceive not just a child but a necromancy prodigy that they doomed their entire fucking House, apparently without even a second thought. What the fuck.

[fullmetal-menace]

au where amestris gets internet access with disastrous results

[tired-fandom-ndn]

Winry works to make her automail as affordable as she possibly can, especially because the majority of people who need it are manual laborers and traumatized war survivors, but she charges Ed as much as possible because the military pays for basically everything he has and she'll jump at any chance to drain the government's coffers.

She gets a sadistic sense of satisfaction putting everything she can think of on the bill that Ed doesn't even look at and that Roy signs off on without reading.

[tired-fandom-ndn]

Roy: Winry charged you 60,000 cens for three water cups.

Ed: That's actually charging for the water in the cups. She just gave me a glass from the kitchen and kept filling it.

Roy: And the 15,000 cen pillow fluffing fee?

Ed: Yeah, I don't know what to tell you, I think she just adds things at random.

Roy: Wow. I really admire her determination to drain our government's money. Your payment request has been approved.

[tired-fandom-ndn]

For people in my notifications:

Yes, Ed has more than enough money to pay for his automail out of pocket. He doesn't WANT to though. He files basically everything he does as a work expense to force the government to pay for shit and basically never uses any of his actual money.

Roy technically doesn't have the authorization to approve work expense bills and Ed technically should be giving those to the military's financial department instead. Neither of them cares. The financial department puts up a token protest about this sometimes but they're mostly relieved to not have to deal with Ed's fuckery.

Winry uses the money she gets from Ed's automail to make her work more affordable for other people. The majority of it goes to her business, then some goes to her personal needs (bills, home maintenance, food, etc), and then the rest goes towards her community in the form of donations. It's a significant chunk of money and helps a lot of people who are usually ignored by the government.

[tired-fandom-ndn]

Very niche poll but!

Crafters and artists in the FMA fandom: Do we think that Ed has the fine motor skills for things like embroidery or beadwork?

yes

no

yes but only with his left hand

it doesn't matter because he wouldn't do those things anyway

Remaining time: 2 days 18 hours

"Only with his left hand" meaning that he does the stitches and the like with the left and only uses the right for things like holding embroidery hoops or keeping threads and beads in place.

[tired-fandom-ndn]

Btw I know I made the poll but if you voted for the last option then you're wrong. Ed would pick up literally any hobby if he gets bored enough.

Also we literally never see how Trisha made money but she didn't seem to work outside of their home so the most likely option for a woman in her situation is that she probably worked as a tailor or seamstress unless she was fully dependent on the money Hohenheim left with them. So I think it would be reasonable to assume that Ed and Al have at least basic sewing and embroidery knowledge.

[tired-fandom-ndn]

Also my reason for making this poll is because I don't actually know how aware Ed is of the pressure in his right hand and whether he'd be able to hold tiny needles or things like seed beads with his automail without breaking or dropping them. Does he canonly use his right hand when writing with pens or pencils? I genuinely can't remember.

[roughentumble]

cant recall about pencils, but my HC is that it's only some of his later automail that's able to do such a feat, it takes him a LOT of practice, and winry forces him to do sewing demonstrations to show off her work and how incredibly and capable of finesse her automail is. he is very beleaguered by being shown off like "a prize show pig" but he puts up with it because showing off her work is part of what he owes her for doing all this free work on his arm.

[roughentumble]

i can imagine someone asking "isnt that kind of ableist, showing you off like that? and forcing you to show off your prosthetic?" and ed's response is "? its literally winry"

and al's like "yeah if it were anyone else it wouldnt be cool but we know her intentions and she's just an automail freak who wants to show off her mechanical acheivements, we know she doesnt have ill intentions"

and ed's like "like i SAID its literally winry its fine. i mean its annoying" (<-has to do work) "but its fine"

[tired-fandom-ndn]

I agree on all of this but I will point that Ed canonly pays the Rockbells A LOT for his automail and even more on top of the base price because they charge him rush order fees too. There isn't any free work happening here except for maybe his first pair, Winry and Pinako are making BANK off of Ed.

[roughentumble]

oh right duh, its been a long time and i briefly mixed up his first automail (the free installation when he was a child) and his later automail (they both hate the state and he's being paid by the state so he's draining state money into their pockets, because ed is funny as fuck like that)

[tired-fandom-ndn]

I personally like the headcanon that Winry as much as physically possible because Ed can just get the military to pay for it as a work expense :)

[tired-fandom-ndn]

Very niche poll but!

Crafters and artists in the FMA fandom: Do we think that Ed has the fine motor skills for things like embroidery or beadwork?

yes

no

yes but only with his left hand

it doesn't matter because he wouldn't do those things anyway

Remaining time: 2 days 18 hours

"Only with his left hand" meaning that he does the stitches and the like with the left and only uses the right for things like holding embroidery hoops or keeping threads and beads in place.

[tired-fandom-ndn]

Btw I know I made the poll but if you voted for the last option then you're wrong. Ed would pick up literally any hobby if he gets bored enough.

Also we literally never see how Trisha made money but she didn't seem to work outside of their home so the most likely option for a woman in her situation is that she probably worked as a tailor or seamstress unless she was fully dependent on the money Hohenheim left with them. So I think it would be reasonable to assume that Ed and Al have at least basic sewing and embroidery knowledge.

[tired-fandom-ndn]

Also my reason for making this poll is because I don't actually know how aware Ed is of the pressure in his right hand and whether he'd be able to hold tiny needles or things like seed beads with his automail without breaking or dropping them. Does he canonly use his right hand when writing with pens or pencils? I genuinely can't remember.

[roughentumble]

cant recall about pencils, but my HC is that it's only some of his later automail that's able to do such a feat, it takes him a LOT of practice, and winry forces him to do sewing demonstrations to show off her work and how incredibly and capable of finesse her automail is. he is very beleaguered by being shown off like "a prize show pig" but he puts up with it because showing off her work is part of what he owes her for doing all this free work on his arm.

[roughentumble]

i can imagine someone asking "isnt that kind of ableist, showing you off like that? and forcing you to show off your prosthetic?" and ed's response is "? its literally winry"

and al's like "yeah if it were anyone else it wouldnt be cool but we know her intentions and she's just an automail freak who wants to show off her mechanical acheivements, we know she doesnt have ill intentions"

and ed's like "like i SAID its literally winry its fine. i mean its annoying" (<-has to do work) "but its fine"

[tired-fandom-ndn]

I agree on all of this but I will point that Ed canonly pays the Rockbells A LOT for his automail and even more on top of the base price because they charge him rush order fees too. There isn't any free work happening here except for maybe his first pair, Winry and Pinako are making BANK off of Ed.