I hope this week is gentle on your nervous system.
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@tiredoflyme
I hope this week is gentle on your nervous system.
my body is the worst most uncomfortable place ive ever lived in
not sure why obsession with trains is seen as an autism thing when i think any reasonable human being with joy in their heart should be at least a little obsessed with trains. decently reliable public transport? with a rhytmic soothing motion but steady enough on long distances that you could read or draw while riding? getting to see the sights as you speed past? 10/10 best way to travel.
I've taken the train from Oregon to Boston and I'd repeat those 3 days for eternity to avoid flying in a plane ever again.
Check out Adam Something on YouTube if you like public transit, trains, and absolutely roasting Elon Musk.
Examples of Sensory Hell
Neurodivergent Lou
I've chronically run out of everything - spoons, forks, sporks, knives, meat tenderizer, napkins, paper towels, chopsticks, tissues... now I've got only crumbs
medical professionals: aw why donāt u have any hobbies or do anything with ur free time? :(
me: yeah maybe itās the 7/10 baseline chronic pain youāre refusing to treat but idk bro could be something else i guess
Why do we say āslept like a babyā when babies literally wake up screaming every two hours?
I want to sleep like a middle-aged dad who ārests his eyesā during a Marvel movie and wakes up refreshed, confused, and ready to barbecue.
back where I belong. (in bed.)
I'm wishing a very Happy Pride Month to all the queer people who:
are disabled
are chronically ill
can't celebrate for health reasons
disability gets in the way of their gender representation
disability got in the way of a relationship
don't have anyone to celebrate with
have homophobic caretakers
Happy Pride Month to all disabled queer people
i think iāve developed a TMJ⦠iāve been struggling to fully open my mouth and close it evenly as one side is painful and iāve got this constant pressure in my ears that is unrelated to congestion and is causing dizziness. from what ive been looking at for the ear pressure, the most common thing is a TMJ and i have the other symptoms for it. gonna keep an eye on it for a few more days and try some of the home remedies for relieving the pain and if that doesnāt work ill go to the doctor (which i was planning on anyway because my ears feel like im on a plane 24/7)
focusing on making sure my jaw is opening and closing evenly, some painkillers, and my anxiety medication has already made a difference.
i think what happened was i recently took out my snake bite lip piercings and ive been absentmindedly playing with the scar tissue on the inside of my lip where the piercings used to be, so with that on top of clenching my jaw all the time like i have since i was a kid and heightened pain and a lot of issues with my cptsd and ocd this week just all came together to make the right side TMJ area spasm and overwork itself which then made me overcompensate on the left and then it got cyclical.
i donāt have nearly as much pressure in my ears, sounds are easier to hear again, and i donāt feel so dizzy that i have to stop and lay down on the floor randomly. i didnāt have access to my anxiety meds this week because the pharmacy was out of stock, but i got them today and after taking some extra strength tylenol and the lorazepam i can actually open my mouth completely again and the actual TMJ area is much less tender to the touch
iām gonna keep this up for a few more days and hopefully itāll go back to normal.
i will say i was slightly panicked that it wasnāt a TMJ issue and was a tooth abscess like some of the articles were saying can cause the ear pressure because iām absolutely terrified of fucking up my teeth. like my stress dreams are my teeth falling out, thatās how much it freaks me out. going to the dentist is my own personal circle of hell and iām so relieved i wonāt have to go for something other than my 6 month check ups
If you don't already, pick up a mouth guard from the pharmacy. It keeps your jaw from fully closing and locking up with you have TMJ disorder. And protects your teeth from the pressure on them. When I have dental coverage or can afford it, I get mine made at the dentist but when those wear out in between, I use the smaller OTC ones. It's made an immense difference in my headaches.
The TMJ muscles run next to your ear and when they're stressed, they can put pressure on your ear and mess it all up, which is probably what you've had going on. Except I didn't know to get a mouthguard until it was Badā¢. When I was in my early 20s and Going Through Shit, I didn't have a mouthguard, and I was grinding and clenching my teeth so bad that I actually started to lose my hearing. The ENT guy was told me to get a mouthguard and it cleared up in a couple weeks. Same guy was also like 'why tf are your teeth so flat?' (my lower incisors don't have points) and I was like 'my dude, the grinding.'
Sorry this got ramble-y, its late rn and I should very much be asleep. I'm glad your meds are helping the TMJ issues!
I feel like my brain is mush. I keep coming across topics I used to know a ton about but now I can barely give a basic explanation of them. Even topics I'm currently interested in and actively studying have a very short "active" window in my brain. Sometimes I'll get to the end of a book and have completely forgotten the first half of it. There's discussions I want to have or things I want to share and I can't because my brain isn't holding the information together properly. Whenever I try to have a conversation with someone, all my thoughts become super vague and I can't pinpoint the actual point I was trying to make. It's super frustrating to know that I know all this stuff and can't access any of it.
yall will respect disabled people until theyre the "funny" disabilities and it pisses me off.
i am a little person. i am 4'0, i have ccd and achondroplasia. i have various other genetic conditions that affect me but i will be mentioning my identity as a little person mostly.
quit using little people as the butt of your jokes. no, you cant use the m slur it is a slur, no you cant call us gnomes or elves or dwarves or whatever the fuck you call us. we are real people, we arent little characters or creatures. we are LIVING BREATHING PEOPLE. quit treating us like kids or idiots. you dont have to baby us. quit making fun of little people's heights, ESPECIALLY PEOPLE WITH DISPROPORTIONATE DWARFISM. you are fucking ableist if you make fun of little people, you dont see us as people you see us a joke. im sick and tired of people i love and care for treating me as if im a joke and making fun of my height. fuck off
i dont care if we "look funny" or "haha tiny" its so fucking annoying and disrespectful to be treated as if the body isnt a living, breathing, full grown adult.
be better.
it is way too confusing to submit a service request for malfunctioning accessibility features like this automatic door has been broken for weeks and i donāt understand how no one has come to fix it but itās probably at least in part because the websites are labyrinthine and you need a gd map of this place to figure out where to send people
i used to be so good at writing strong, thoroughly-researched, thoroughly-edited essays.
as a kid in hs, my teacher literally came up to me, holding my 40 page essay on the intersection of the European witch hunts and capitalism/exploitation/gender roles (it was supposed to be 7 pages...whoops) and went like "this is literally a master's-degree level thesis. what are you doing?? you could literally use this as your final dissertation in a master's program, what the fuck."
NOW??? NOW?? you'd think I'd be oh so skilled. but alas. i can barely piece together two ideas. adhd skill-regression is so so real. im SOBBING
The skill can come back and it often does. It is not unusual for it skill recedes during stressful and painful times. Maybe you just need more stability/safety/kind people around you.
I have been through something similar a few times in my life with writing, yoga, studying...
Admittedly, my life is always financially and socially precarious, so my notion of stability currently just means "enough money to pay the rent and food for the next few months."
It is hard to hold onto anything when you have to fight for survival all the time, either materially or emotionally.
Wow, uh. Okay, I'm gonna need a minute to process "It is hard to hold onto anything when you have to fight for survival all the time...". You're genuinely rewiring my brain is we speak.
Thank you, this means a lot to hear. <3
Thank you as well. We have to help each other in this hellscape whenever we can.
"It is hard to hold onto anything when you have to fight for survival all the time, either materially or emotionally."
@revenantscholar
*stares at the walls, feeling strangely validated and hollow*
fyi things like insulin, hearing aids, wheelchairs, glasses costing money at all is a form of structural ableism
disabled people should not have to pay to live their lives like everyone else. and in the case of insulin, disabled people should not have to pay to Not Fucking Die
On a personal level, being misogynistic, ableist, homophobic, etc. is not just about feeling hatred for oppressed groups.
Hatred is just one possible symptom of the problem. Sometimes itās pity. Or creepy dehumanising fascination. Or indifference to their suffering, when youād care about that same kind of suffering if someone less oppressed were to experience it. Or - very often - ignorance and a self-absorbed refusal to learn to be better.
But those feelings are also just symptoms of the core problem. The problem is not about your feelings at all - itās about actions and whether your actions support an oppressive system.
Thatās why you canāt say, āIām not a misogynist! I love women!ā and have people go, āwell, you know your feelings best!ā Itās not about your feelings. Itās about what youāre doing and if itās harmful.
dear autistics who
white
low support needs
not need 24/7 support
can work independently
can pay taxes
language privileged
intellectual & cognitive privileged
who can fit in societal definition of useful & productive (yes, even if hard)
when fight back against eugenics & ableism, you NEED to fight alongside, fight with, n fight for autistics who
radicalized & POC
from places of world where there critically lack autism knowledge n support
visibly autistic
higher support needs
need 24/7 care
canāt work independently or even work at all
canāt pay taxes
nonverbal, nonspeaking, minimally verbal, without functional communication, or cannot communicate via language at all even AAC
w intellectual disability or cognitive disabilities
who cannot fit into society definition of useful n productive, no matter how hard we try
because we always are & always will be primary target.
because we most vulnerable most marginalized within our, OUR community, which you belong in.
because once they finish us off you wonāt be spared.