Toilet Seat Thoughts

thoughts while on the toilet seat

[toiletseatthoughts]

I wonder if people who dump their animals on the side of the road or whatever ever see their pet later on in a video or picture of someone who found and loved them, and realized what trash human beings they were.

I hope so.

[toiletseatthoughts]

Just saw a thing about guys taking a woman swimming for their first date to see what they look like without makeup.

I have an excellent solution:

DON'T DATE WOMEN WHO WEAR MAKEUP.

Some women, myself included, have used makeup for years to cover up our insecurities and portray a different face to the world. It can be a very vulnerable feeling to have someone see you barefaced due to fear of judgement. It can quite literally be a mask worn to protect ourselves from others.

Especially men whose only purpose is to rip off our masks and see our vulnerabilities before we're ready to show them to you.

So here's another solution: focus on being the kind of person a woman would feel comfortable being vulnerable around.

[toiletseatthoughts]

That moment when your doctor's office doesn't send referrals and the office you're supposed to be referred to requires them.

[toiletseatthoughts]

Pretty sure clearing up my PTSD has opened the floodgates to all the mental jank that was hidden under my survival techniques all these years.

[toiletseatthoughts]

I have had a dream all my life. Literally, I have daydreamed of this for as long as I can remember. And I'm so close now, and the reality is growing nearer. I can actually have this; I'm planning it out and arranging it right now.

But I find myself trying to stop my dream from actually coming true. Because I'm supposed to wait. My dream comes later. I have to wait for now, but someday...

And I'm so scared that there will be something to stop my dream or derail it or delay it again, that I don't dare go for it, it case it once again pops like a bubble.

[toiletseatthoughts]

You ever love something so much it makes that heavy warm trembly feeling in your chest, almost makes you feel like you're about to cry even though your eyes are dry, and all you want to do is be with that thing for as long as possible, and suddenly you understand love poetry.

[just-shower-thoughts]

90% of saying “ouch” is a mild inconvenience that didn’t really hurt.

[toiletseatthoughts]

I've said it as a way of indicating to other people that yes, I did get hurt, and yes, I am okay.

[toiletseatthoughts]

Cloud bread is for people who want to eat the foam from those old timey pillows that always smelled kind of funky.

[toiletseatthoughts]

Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer is a tragic song about a man and his grandfather only knowing the existence of a magical being who breaks into people's houses to eat cookies because their grandmother and wife was killed in a hit and run by said magical being.

[toiletseatthoughts]

Has there ever been a generation WITHOUT fatalistic humor???

[toiletseatthoughts]

Being excited to go shopping and have new clothes, then getting there and realizing that none of the clothes are your style, your color, your size, or anything that appeals to you.

And then you grudgingly settle on something "that works."

[toiletseatthoughts]

Does anyone actually choose their own strange tumblr blog name, or does everybody just use the autofill ones that tumblr suggests?

[toiletseatthoughts]

When people say "this restored my faith in humanity" in reference to intensely noticeable acts of kindness, I have to wonder:

What if that's commonplace kindness? Regular old commonplace kindness? What if it's only lauded as such a touching act because there's so little of it in the world that we see it as a rare and amazing occurrence?

[toiletseatthoughts]

New conspiracy theory (based on a true story):

Sapient pandas mind controlled by the Illuminati to deliver suspicious Chinese food with no receipt to unsuspecting residents of an unassuming neighborhood.

[toiletseatthoughts]

Being raised by conspiracy theorists is so crazy.

Like, I do my research and decide for myself now, but I feel like I still walk around looking like:

[toiletseatthoughts]

Are bubbles scented with whatever you last ate?

[toiletseatthoughts]

Had a great thought.

Walked out the bathroom.

Forgot.

Why