I told the stars about you

do I really have to chart the constellations in his eyes? 22 | she/her | 🐢

[tortoiseworld]

gonna cum laude this summa (jk I will be reading in a coffeeshop or something)

[tortoiseworld]

brain feels like internet explorer rn

[coffin-sick]

even on tumblr i’m the quiet kid that sits in the corner and doesn’t really know anyone

[girlmostlikely]

ENOUGH WITH THE PROTEIN MARKETING! PROTEIN POPCORN THIS PROTEIN WATER THAT NOT EVERYTHING NEEDS 50G OF PROTEIN OK. WHERE IS THE FIBER. WHERE IS IT. WHERE IS IT?????

[vetchtibbles]

canoeing is a fantastic word . those vowels are absolutely out of control in there

[suggestionsofkindness]

To all of my fellow jobhunters: May you be the right candidate, at the right place, at the right time soon. And may that place turn out to be full of friendly people. 🌸

[strawxbunny]

i love when ppl say “that’s so you” it feels good to know i exist and have a vibe

[elwenyere]

-- Ted Chiang, from "Why A.I. Isn't Going to Make Art"

[oldshrewsburyian]

I'm so glad they got Ted Chiang -- a wonderful writer of science fiction and thinker about technology, in my opinion -- to write this essay. My favorite line was this:

Generative A.I. appeals to people who think they can express themselves in a medium without actually working in that medium.

[boltlightning]

I DONT CARE HOW MANY BEDS THERE WERE. WHAT IS YOUR BOOK ABOUT

[trekkiesagainstchastity]

(tearfully) w- working at the mattress store

[boltlightning]

i'm so fucking sorry. can you ever forgive me

[clothingweapon]

1950s guy who just had six martinis for lunch, getting back into his cadillac: i wonder what my bitch wife is making for dinner

housewife, completely zoomed out on lithium: [encasing a whole ham in jell-o]

[distance-does-not-matter]

girl who started a load on laundry: I’m gonna change my life I’m gonna clean my whole house I’m gonna go on a walk

[odd-maid3n]

[knight--error]

[sergal]

hello this is your google account. did you know that you are trying to log in. to. your google account. would you like five emails about how you logged in to your google account.

[hiveswap]

It IS true that being on here gives you a tumblr accent. This morning my mother asked me something and i replied "i don't know i've never heard these words in that order" and she nearly choked laughing. It wasn't even that funny

[elliot-amy]

at my old job i had a coworker who was tired and made a coffee with like 6 or 8 shots of espresso and i just casually went up to them like “are you trying to meet god?” and not only was this absolutely hilarious to them but they brought it up in future conversations they thought it was so funny but to me this was just as casual as saying “woah that’s a lot of coffee”

[gastrointestinalhallelujahcannon]

Being funny on Tumblr and then going to be funny in real life is like traveling to a foreign country and baby the currency exchange rate is biased in your favor

[64mpg]

how is everyone feeling today

[64mpg]

alrighty. lets get this bread

[beardedmrbean]

[theman]

I GOT A FUCKING RAISE THE POTATO WORKED WTF

[tattooedzombigirl]

This potato works. Every. Fucking. Time.

[secondlina]

Reblogging because it’s a damn potato and I want to encourage people to assume potatoes are magical.

[sinksanksockie2]

w-what if potato is actually lucky

[dontsteponthe-momeraths]

i need a lucky potato

[lmaonade]

idea i had

[lmaonade]

more

[gorps]