REBLOG FOR AWARENESS
I have one of the worst disorders you can have. It is one you cannot talk about. It is invisible to the all seeing world. I talk and laugh like any other person, but it is not me laughing, smiling, or joking. No. The real me is buried so far under layers of skin and masculinity. I am locked away deep inside and my only key to freedom is myself, or death. I am a girl trapped in a, dare I say, boy's body. I was born wrong. I know it. I know it. I know it. I have always known it. Everyday of my life.
From day to day I am restricted from the life I should be leading. No long hair, makeup, nice clothes, female singing voice, and most importantly, understanding. I am treated like a boy. I am forced to be a boy. Hey girls, how would you feel of you had to get your hair chopped off unwillingly? If you had, not small boobs, but no boobs? How would you like to slowly watch as the you that you know dies slowly and painfully right in front of you, as you look in the mirror. I am talking about puberty and how it has disfigured me physically, and as a consequence, psychologically. I am still only 16.
I am not normally a complainer, and this is not my purpose here. I just want to let all of those lucky people born in the right genders know how much they have to appreciate. Today I did an acting audition and watched as the roles I lived and breathed and was desperate to perform were done right in front of me, by girls. Every time I lose. I cannot get a role because in my mind I am stuck between; should embrace who I am and be girl? Or should I mask myself and perform the greatest acting/lie in my life and become a male?
I hate the word transgender. I am not a label. I am a girl. I am just cursed into a difficult life. The people who are trapped inside walk among you, they are your brothers or sister, aunts or uncles, teachers, parents, friends. And you may never know, because it is silent. Mute. I am to busy gasping for air to scream for help, drowned by society and their "rules". I am tortured everyday and live with a defect that I am too afraid to say. So do not merely "like" this post. Please, reblog it for me. For all of the people who are trapped inside and need a their voices to be heard. Reblog to bring awareness to this horrible "transgenderism" that kills many people every year...silently. Help us to bring normality to this topic so that in the future it may be treated and accepted as much as any other defect, like having an extra limb or a chronic illness. We are not freaks, we are humans, tortured by our smothering bodies.