njp’s @trulynjps - Tumblr Blog

Sad but it’s hard to compare when you’ve had the best

“It eventually gets better, without any sort of explanation; you just wake up one morning and you’re not as upset anymore.”

— Unknown

thoughtkick

“Someone can be madly in love with you and still not be ready. They can love you in a way you have never been loved and still not join you on the bridge. And whatever their reasons you must leave. Because you never ever have to inspire anyone to meet you on the bridge. You never ever have to convince someone to do the work to be ready. There is more extraordinary love, more love that you have never seen, out here in this wide and wild universe. And there is the love that will be ready.”

— Nayyirah Waheed

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luniapoetry

“I wonder what you see when you look down at me from above all those clouds. Do you see a disappointment? The little girl you once knew, so full of love and faith, is long dead, but she went through so much. I don’t know if you saw any of that from the streets of gold, but she fought so hard to survive. I fought so hard to survive. I remember crying and asking you to stay, to see my graduation, to see my journey to college, but you didn’t. You left. That was step one into this darkness. Your earrings and necklaces are still in a box in my room. It’s been years. I still miss you. I wonder if I will ever stop. I wonder if you were ever proud of me or if I was just a disappointment after all.”

—I’ll know soon enough (6/28/18)

quotemadness

“Sometimes when you meet someone, there’s a click. I don’t believe in love at first sight, but I believe in that click.”

— Ann Aguirre

Bago palang kami, plano na namin makabili ng sarili naming Trailblazer. Ito kasi yung dream car nya. Sabi namin, ito yung pinaka unang sasakyang bibilhin namin. Papangalanan pa namin ‘tong “Chevy” kasi Chevrolet eh. Tapos pagagandahin namin ng sobra. Didisenyuhan, aayusan. Ito pa nga yung plano naming gamiting sasakyan sa kasal eh. Tapos ito na rin yung plano naming family car in the future kapag may sariling pamilya na kami. Ito na yung nakikita naming kasama sa lahat ng lugar na gusto naming puntahang dalawa. At ito na yung nakikita naming pang takas sa napaka gulo at madugang mundo.

Nakakatuwang balikan, ‘no? Ang sarap sa pakiramdam na bata palang kami, ganon na kalayo yung tinatanaw namin. Kaya lang, ngayon, isa nalang sya sa mga ala-ala naming dalawa. Isa nalang sya sa napaka raming planong nasayang. Isa nalang syang parte ng pagbabalik tanaw. Isa nalang sya sa napaka raming panghihinayang. Sayang. Ang saya na sana namin. Kung natuto lang syang makuntentong maging akin.

Ikaw, anong kwentong sasakyan mo?

1182021 6:41pm

Hello, tumblr!

So many things happened today. Sobrang daming iyak yet, at some point, relieving.

First, today’s dad’s flight to Saudi. Sobra hagulgol ko grabe. Kasi sa 1 month na vacay ko sa Palawan, mostly nasa bahay lang kami. Magkakasama kaming lahat ng fam sa bahay most of the time. Kaya siguro nakakapanibago na after a month of being around them, nakakapanibago na mag isa na naman dito sa bahay. Siguro kaya for me, itong vacation ko na to yung naenjoy ka kahit wala masyadong gala and tour. Siguro kasi this is what I’ve been craving for. Just us, family, at home together.

Second, today, though unplanned, me and Josh had our closure at last. It was tough. Sobrang iyak kami both. Cuz we both know this wasn’t the plan we had for each other. I mean, before, of course, we were both looking forward to his embarkation. But now, ito yung nangyari. Nakakatuwa dahil at last, he got my point and accepted it. He respected my decision this time. And I guess, this is another one that I have been craving for as well — his acceptance. I’ve been craving for the day he would accept that destiny isn’t in our favor anymore. Maybe later, but not now. I was happy. Sobrang nabunutan ng tinik yung puso ko. I feel relieved. I hope he does, too!

Oops I almost forgot.. he also got me gifts. See photo!! I also gave him some, fyi. :))

So yung last pic is me in bed, smiling. I find it cute na after a whole day spent crying, I found myself smiling for the reasons that I’ve been craving for for months time. Finally, it all happened. Thank you Lord. I guess it’s a good start for this me-year. Hoping for more, Lord! Thank you so much!

Annyeong!

01102021 11:48pm

Today, I spent the time of my life. Watching Ji Chang-wook in Netflix with this cutie beside me. What can I say? I’m just happy. 🥰

1062021 5:43pm

So I spoke to an old friend of mine today. We were catching up. We’re both single now after a long term relationships and we talked about our past relationships. He asked me the reason why Josh and I broke up. I shrugged it off and asked him the same. You know what he told me?

“I broke up with her because..” he proudly said. And from that point, I was off. “...she was too emotional for me. Too needy. There was a time I felt like she wasn’t the one. I tried to break up with her to test her. But she did nothing.”

And that, my friend, is our last conversation. I was off. REALLY OFF. How come you courted someone only to break up with her after finally realizing she’s not the one for you? How come you waited for her “yes” when you think she’s too needy? How come you decided to be his boyfriend knowing she’s emotional? Like what the hell? She was living her own life before you appeared and introduced yourself as someone who will never leave and hurt her but you just turned out to be someone everyone is afraid of! A sad and manipulative fuck boy! And yet you want me to believe that it was her fault? Friend, you’re done. We’re done. And I’m not talking to you anymore. I’m so done with people like you — a manipulative and victim kind of people. Get out of my life!

1062022 12:25am

Hello tumblr,

Sorry, late post hehe. So sending you my ganapa yesterday (1022020). So ayun, after a month, dumating na yung package ni Ate Michelle. Ang funny kasi andun pa yun shirt na ibibigay nya kay Josh (ex). Ang ganda pa naman nun. Tommy pa yun ha! Sakto bet ko kaya akin nalang haha! Tapos kinahapunan, papakulay sana kami ni Ayessa kaso sobrang mahal kaya bumili nalang kami ng pang kulay at nag kulay kila Mama Ruth. Past 12am na kami nakauwi ni Ate kasi mga 9 na kami nag simula mag kulay.

Yun lang naman. Post ako maya ng ganap ko today. Annyeong!

1032020 7:00pm

Dear tumblr,

Happy new year! It’s January 1 na kasi 3:32am na. Ang saya. We all survived 2020. Actually kanina, nung nag ka-countdown to 12am, sobrang mixed emotions yung nararamdaman ko. Tapos nung nag 12 na, naluha ako bigla but napigilan ko kasi I don’t wanna be dramatic while nag tatalunan sila ang nagsasaya. Hindi ko alam bakit ako naiyak. Basta naiyak lang ako. Maybe because we managed to celebrate the new year despite what happened in 2020. Or maybe because I felt very grateful for all that has happened in 2020 that led me/us to appreciate little things in life. Ewan. Ang dami reason. All I know is that every new year talaga emotional ako and until now hindi ko alam bakit. Anyway, mag compose ako ulit. Nag rant lang ako sa naramdaman ko kanina. Annyeong!

01012021 3:39am

Dear tumblr,

Hello tumblr! Ang aga ko mag compose ngayon. Excited kasi akong ishare yung nangyari today sakin. Today, whole day kami nasa hospital. Ay di pala, in between pala nakapag grocery pa kami. So ayun, umalis kami mga past 9am. Nag punta kami hospital. Kasama ko si Ate and Mommy. Si Ate check up sa derma, si Mommy di ko alam tawag basta tungkol sa pag ihi ihi nya. Mahapdi daw kasi. Tapos ako naman, derma at ortho. Derma kasi super dami kong pantal pantal mostly sa binti tapos yung mga kati kati ko sa dibdib pinatingin ko din. Ortho naman kasi this past few days, hindi na ako nakakatulog sa sobrang sakit ng likod ko. May times na sobrang kinikilabutan ako at naiiyak na dahil sa sakit sa tuwing matutulog. So ayun, una muna yung derma. Ang tagal namin nag hintay legit. Mga 11:30am na yata kami natignan tapos sobrang bilis lang. After kami matignan, may ipinaapprove pa sa HMO counter kasi may ipapa-cauterize din sana kami. So isa pa yun na napaka tagal. After maapprove, balik kami sa doctor pero wala na. Nag lunch daw. So lunch muna kami. Pag balik namin mga 1 yata, sabi sa Monday nalang kasi umalis na yun doctor. Tangina? Haha tagal mo kami pinag intay tas aalisan mo kami? Hayup ka Saludez HAHA! So since 2pm pa yung ortho, nag grocery muna kami. Nakabalik yata kami sa hospital mga 3pm na. So ayan kausap na namin yung doctor. Bat daw ako nandun. Sabi ko super sakit kasi ng likod ko. Dati kaya ko pa. Bearable pa. Ngayon hindi na ako pinapatulog sa sakit. So chineck nya yung likod ko. Pinayuko ako tapos pinaghubad tanggal bra ganun ganun. Tapos yun. Pag tingin sa likod ko, wala, bali baliko na pala yung spinal ko. Tapos hindi na pantay yung likod ko. Parang mas mababa yung kaliwa sa kanan. Basta ganon. So to conclude, I have scoliosis daw. Pero babalik pa kami ng Monday to confirm. Kasi pagka gawa ng xray ko, biglang umalis na pala yung doctor. Kupal din eh. Hahaha!!

So yun, excited lang ako ishare kasi pahabol na sakit na naman this 2020 bwiset hahahaha! Annyeong!

12302020 7:25pm

Dear tumblr,

One day, they will all be proud of me. Very proud to the point na they will all brag about every event in their lives that involves me.

Soon. 👆

12292020 12:05am

Dear tumblr,

Waiiit!!!! Pahabol lang! Hahaha!! Yung $DITO nag close ng P10.90 today! Sobrang saya!! Last trading din nga pala today fyi :)) I’m so happy! Sana mag open sya next year ng P11! Nakakatuwa kasi kahapon diba sabi ko bumili yung kaklase ko (si Kojie) ng $DITO at P9 yata. Ngayon super happy sya. Super happy din ako kasi atleast di ako namali ng advice. Hahahahaha!! More gains to come!! Thank you ninong Dennis Uy! Hahaha! Annyeong!

12292020 10:38pm

Dear tumblr,

Hello! Isang araw na naman ang lumipas. Last day of work today for the year 2020!! Nakakatuwa na we survived this year but at the same time parang nakakalungkot kasi natapos yung taon ng ganon ganon nalang. Parang sayang. But atleast, we survived. Dun palang we should all be thankful na.

So ayun, today, same old same old, work morning til 5pm. Nakakatuwa lang kasi yung ginawa naming encoding sa system eh nagsucceed today lang as in. Mabuti nalang umabot sa year end. Atleast come January, magagamit na namin yung system. Yes, at laaast! Tapos kanina nag pakain yung mga boss dahil nga last working day of the year ngayon. Wala na naman ako. Ilang beses na ko di nakakasama sa pakain badtrip hahaha! Tapos cancelled pala 2 meetings today dahil nga may kainan. Badtrip lang kasi antay ako ng antay tsaka di kami naka alis agad ni ate dahil nga kako may meeting. Pero atleast mahaba haba tulog ni ate. Gabi kasi work nya eh.

So ayun, mga 4 yata kami nakaalis. Nag UK kami. Dami namin nabili pero di naman ako happy masyado pero choosy pa ba magkano lang yun haha! Tas after nun, roadtrip kami kung san-san. Dumaan kami baywalk pero di kami bumaba kasi tinatamad ako tsaka di naman talaga ako nag eenjoy dun hahaha lagkit kaya ng hangin dun! HAHA

Tapos yun, habang nag roroadtrip kami, napapag usapan namin si Daddy and yung mga nahuhuli naming kalokohan nya. Nalulungkot kami parehas sa nangyayari pero wala, suko na kami. Kasi ang tao, kung manloloko talaga yan, kahit ilang beses mong mahuli at patawarin yan, uulit at uulit pa rin yan dahil it runs in their blood na. Natawa nga ako sa sinabi ni Ate eh. Yung ginagawa raw ni Daddy parang bumabalik sakin. Kung si Daddy, nanloloko, ako naman niloloko. Ang sad na parang nababahiran na tingin namin sa kanya lalo si Ate. Super naiilang na si Ate kay Daddy pero pinapaalala ko nalang na he’s trying his best naman to be a good father and provider. Kahit hindi na good partner kay Mommy, atleast yung pagiging ama nya, at some point, hindi nya kinakalimutan.

Hmmm, yun lang naman yata ganap ko today. Bukas naman ulit. Annyeong!

12292020 10:33pm

Dear Tumblr,

Wait dagdag ko lang hahaha! Ang taas ng stock price ni $DITO today! Na-break nya yung 9 peso challenge! Ang saya kasi laki ng gain namin sa port. Tapos may classmate din ako nung college (si Kojie) na nagpapaturo ng random infos sa stock. Nag chat sya kanina bumili na rin sya sa $DITO all in! Grabe risk appetite nya. To think na nasa peak na si $DITO pinasok nya pa haha pero sabi ko nga, depende pa rin sa STRAT nya. If long term sya, good choice. If day trade, too risky. Pero who knows diba? Third telco yan. Laki rin tsupit nya kung day trade pag nagkataon. Anyways, good luck sa amin! Sana marami pa akong friends/acquaintances na matutong mag invest :) Pero sabi nga ni Vince ng Tsupitero.com, Invest wiser, trade faster! Annyeong!

12292020 12:26am

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