Some musings on this account because I am in a weird place creatively at the moment.
I am really really yearning for a long-term art project since a while now, something that I could be building on top of for years and span a narrative about. Basically, I have been working on notes for an original comic (have been gathering these thoughts since years actually), but I cannot decide which characters it should be about, so I am ping-ponging way too many ideas in my head... I gather a good amount of stuff, and then I change my mind because "What If This character Ain't It Actually?"
The characters all started out as my dnd babies, but they have developed far enough in my brain that I can see an original story happening, each within their own settings. Each story would be pretty gory, dark and have nsfw themes (lol), cuz that's the kind of stories I like (lol), but the vibes and themes would differ a lot.
But I just cannot decide who it will be about! I want to avoid putting too much into one story, I should keep it pretty simple because I know it is going to develop into not-so-simple anyway over time, hence why the decision must be made. I briefly entertained the idea of having two characters in the same story, but the themes are complex enough on their own that I want to give it the time it deserves to develop, without getting distracted and making it half-assed.
Protagonist #1 (has been in my head the longest at this point)
ABSENCE
Absence would be a dark fantasy story about a gladiator slave, who happens to be a half-devil. It's a story about survival and finding a new drive in life, searching for where you truly belong, because everybody always sees you as the "other" (too much devil to be mortal, too mortal to be a devil), finding a voice and making people respect you, but also making tons of mistakes in the process, questions of personhood, etc.
Sexual themes also play a twisted role in the hierarchy he lives under so he has to deal with that and learn how to unfuck it in his mind. He also falls in love quickly, but it's gonna be sad more often than not whoops.
Protagonist #2 Xenophanes
Xenophanes is a horror story about a cursed dark elf who has to serve a demonic entity to stay alive/functioning, because the curse is turning her into a ghoul. She finds out through interpersonal connections that she is not truly lost and that she can fight those urges after finding a support system and making an effort.
Xen is ancient and (used to be) a violent tyrant, but she has lost a lot of time, so she is also finding out that her home and people have changed tremendously while she was gone.
I already made a BG3 fancomic of Xen once (she has existed prior to BG3 tho) where I made her a Dark Urge and romanced Shadowheart (you can find the comic for free on my itch.io btw), so that was lowkey like a trial run for me i guess lmao. Very much want the story to also be fucked up yuri because that's what I am about!!
Efimii is the newest addition to my brainrot and I am playing him currently in Dnd actually. But my thoughts regarding him have grown a lot and I am really vibing with his story bits.
Essentially, Efimii's story would more psychological horror with theological themes. He is a chosen religious figure by a Sentient Sun (think of a cosmic Horror), but is questioning the rituals and how his people interpret the religion. All while still remaining one of several Chosen and having these abilities that come with the territory of being the disciple of the literal sun. He cannot however live up to the expectations set upon himself by his people, because he doesn't fit the mould of what his culture expects a person like him to be like. It's about fucked up family dynamics, abusive households, moral and theological questions and dilemmas, traumatic interpersonal conflicts, themes about homophobia (Efimii is gayyy), weird cosmic horror abstract stuff that i love exploring with deities and gods, body horror and the struggles a fantasy-surgeon-doctor-acolyte would face in a fantasy world, that is at war with horrific demons, etc... You know how it is.
Anyway, end of my musings. I will have to make a decision eventually, but I love them all so much. 😩
