i don’t really know where i can share this and i have no idea which close friend i haven’t talked to yet about the light parts of this issue i’ve had for a while so i’m just gonna lay it down here.
i’ve been thinking a lot about where this muse is headed. it’s been years that i’ve been here, but i don’t see myself dropping her. i don’t want to. it pains me to imagine it. especially now that she’s debuted, which was the one thing that i’ve been waiting for and the main reason i’ve stuck with the muse. but i can’t help but feel disinterested as time goes by. some of the reasons being 1) every blackpink muse she gets close to goes inactive for a long period of time then leaves or just drops interaction, 2) the severe lack of friends for a character that’s supposed to be social to an extent, and 3) the possibility that the verse is limiting the kind of people she can interact with.
this is my favorite muse and has been my main for the longest time. i make plenty of side muses here and there, mostly ocs, but i don’t struggle as much with them than i do in this account. i’m devastated. it truly breaks my heart when i follow a similar set of people on another account and see them give more attention to that muse compared to jennie. i wonder if it’s simply my fault. if it’s something to do with how different i execute my portrayals in each muse, if it’s because not many people like jennie or blackpink or if i’m just overthinking all of this and being ungrateful of the people who’s been more than willing to write with me here. but this is how i feel.
it’s been a couple of hiatus notes that i’ve put up (it’s already irking me how many read more posts there are on this blog and not so much writing each time i’m “back”) and, besides being busier during daytime, part of the reason has been this. i lack the motivation and the desire to be here. i always have muse for jennie. i have plenty of things i want to write about her. but then i think of all the self paras i could write and just the idea of making plot calls no one ever responds to, it makes me feel lonely. she has no real relationships anymore. everything’s of the past and everyone’s gone. i’m always lurking and just watching people interact with each other. i get jealous sometimes or think it’s high time that i leave and move on to find other hobbies (apart from gaming, reading, or anything that could make me even more socially inept than i already am). i log into another account and just get disheartened about how much interest people have for them when i put in so little effort and time compared to here.
i honestly thought staying away and just waiting on spring break during my downtime would do the trick but it didn’t help much. i don’t know if the issue is just with me. if i’m not open enough, if i’m too picky, if i seem hard to approach, if it’s because i refuse to make a twitter account for my muse... if krp just isn’t the place for me anymore or if people are just already tired of seeing this same muse around here. i guess, i need some non-generic advice from someone who understands because i’ve convinced myself long enough that this is normal and it’s supposed to happen every now and then. it drains me so much to think about this over and over.
what can i do to change things up? should i add a new sub-verse? would people be more inclined to write with a jennie oc that isn’t of the fantasy genre? should i reblog memes that aren’t thread oriented? should i write shorter threads as opposed to multi-paras and novellas? more text threads than para? should i make an ad? help
