❛ oh , one question. where am i , who are you , and what’s going on ? ❜
❛ cool . cool . i have some questions . ❜
❛ are you sure you want to hear ? ❜
❛ cool , bring it in , man ! ❜
❛ you’ll stand by my side no matter what , right ? ❜
❛ promise me . say it : “ i promise i will never betray you for any reason ” ❜
❛ somebody forked up . ❜
❛ i mean , you do get how that’s worse , right ? ❜
❛ maybe it’s not … ACTUALLY all that bad . ❜
❛ i’m just asking you to fudge a little bit ! ❜
❛ i have a stomachache . ❜
❛ that’s ‘ fun ’ . ❜
❛ okay , that’s really specific and makes me think that you definitely did do that . ❜
❛ what a condescending bench . ❜
❛ let’s just face it , [ name ] , you don’t belong here ! ❜
❛ this is a putrid , disgusting bowl of ethical soup . ❜
❛ that was my first time as a fashion “ don’t ” and i was NOT here for it . ❜
❛ you’re the most self - obsessed person i’ve ever met . ❜
❛ time to pick a designated driver . ❜
❛ before you say anything … that’s it , i just don’t want you to say anything . ❜
❛ we’re gonna bang it out . ❜
❛ okay , i won’t let you down … starting now . ❜
❛ remind me what i’m getting out of this again ? ❜
❛ oh , so NOW i’m supposed to be nice and make friends ? ❜
❛ i’m telling you , [ name’s ] out to get me . ❜
❛ i’ve got something you could slip into . ❜
❛ of course , the opposite might be true . ❜
❛ huh ! what do you think that means ? ❜
❛ throwing sand is an excellent way to put out a vodka fire . ❜
❛ good people make me insecure . ❜
❛ i would LOVE not to listen to you . ❜
❛ that’s a very , very bad idea . do NOT be yourself . ❜
❛ i said a lot of other nice things , toughen up , nerd . ❜
❛ it’s nothing , it’s a tiny little inconvenience . ❜
❛ dude , you’re hiding something ! what’s wrong ? ❜
❛ what’s wrong , what’s wrong , what’s wrong , what’s wrong ? ❜
❛ what have you done to me , you monster ? ❜
❛ you are … unbelievable . ❜
❛ get your story straight , bro . ❜
❛ i am VEXED , [ name ] . ❜
❛ you have nothing to prove , not to anybody . ❜
❛ i know we’ll never be soul mates , but we’re friends . ❜
❛ i’ve never actually done this before , it was a theoretical fantasy - ❜
❛ ‘ dEspitE yOuR cONsTaNt MocKerY ~ ’ ❜
❛ i once posed as a hot prom date for my cousin . ❜
❛ i even watched all ten seasons of the show ‘friends’ . ❜
❛ if i feel sympathy for anybody , it’s [ name ] . ❜
❛ what is all this junk ? ❜
❛ you devious little monsters , you . ❜
❛ you have a very ‘ psycho burnout guy mumbling to himself at a library computer ’ type of vibe . ❜
❛ this is gonna help both of us ! ❜
❛ we should keep our eyes peeled for twigs who may have a nefarious agenda . ❜
❛ i just ethic’d you in the face ! ❜
❛ lies are like tigers . they are BAD . ❜
❛ we need to cancel this party immediately . ❜
❛ why do bad things always happen to mediocre people who are lying about their identities ? ❜
❛ the ends justify the means . ❜
❛ what are you talking about ?? it’s SO easy to live with a lie . ❜
❛ i’m not supposed to be here . ❜
❛ you forgot your own birthday ? ❜
❛ alright , i will . for you . ❜
❛ can’t we just chalk this up to a hilarious mistake and move on ? ❜
❛ can we … skip around , and circle back ? ❜
❛ why is everyone so jealous of me ? ❜
❛ oh , hello - you look like a piece of crap . ❜
❛ hey now , come on , let’s not insult people . ❜
❛ go get me a drink . ❜
❛ somebody made a person out of wet mulch and leaves and like … dead slugs , and that’s you . ❜
❛ did you two go to pound town ? ❜
❛ i’m better than i used to be . ❜
❛ alright , i have to ask . is this thing gonna happen ? you and me ? ❜
❛ you need to stand up for yourself ! ❜
❛ you’re barely even a regular , functioning person ! ❜
❛ woah woah woah , you think i’m into [ name ] ? ❜
❛ i need to step outside for … some air . i will not be back for … many days . ❜
❛ why are you so nice to me ? ❜
❛ oh good , you’re back . ❜
❛ pobody’s nerfect . ❜
❛ well , the nightmare continues . ❜
❛ i’m a moron ! ❜
❛ that’s … not great for my case . ❜
❛ i’ve ruled the fart inadmissible as evidence . ❜
❛ now i’m bored . walking is dumb . ❜
❛ i’m gonna need a drink … or three . ❜
❛ i only cared about making money and doing cocaine . ❜
❛ there’s no time for any of that morality nonsense , sweetheart . ❜
❛ this way , i don’t owe you anything - you don’t owe me anything . ❜
❛ we MUST remain emotionless . i’m talking kristen stewart on the red carpet . ❜
❛ please , i’m begging you , please . ❜
❛ does your brain work , actually ? do you have a functioning head ? ❜
❛ sorry , [ name ] , but i can’t let us leave . ❜
❛ what are you DOING , you goon ? ❜
❛ that’s what you think hell is ? ❜
❛ it’s scary , like the movie ratatouille . ❜
❛ oh , that’s a joint . ❜
❛ REAL weird vibe in here . ❜
❛ i was definitely expecting some applause . ❜
❛ in my opinion , which is objective fact in this case and all cases ever … ❜
❛ i’m not going , i don’t wanna . ❜
❛ it is literally impossible for me to do that . ❜
❛ well - it’s been real , dawg . ❜
❛ i feel like i’ve failed you . ❜
❛ i was dropped into a cave , and … you were my flashlight . ❜
❛ we can be together , away from everyone else . ❜
❛ holy motherforking shirtballs . ❜
❛ man , this is torture . ❜
❛ you ruined everything , you know that ? ❜
❛ i was so close to pulling it off ! ❜
❛ it’s actually a filthy dumpster of our worth anxieties . ❜
❛ i’m surrounded by people who are literally better than me . ❜
❛ you don’t love me ? ❜
❛ this was supposed to be my big moment ! ❜
❛ dammit , [ name ] . you are the WORST , and you can all suck it . ❜
❛ you had no idea i was gonna do that ! ❜
❛ yeah , that came out of nowhere . ❜
❛ oh … but it didn’t matter . because my motivations were corrupt . ❜
❛ there’s something you don’t know about me . ❜
❛ the only thing you succeeded in doing was bringing us all together . ❜
❛ uh … next time ? ❜
❛ if this thing goes sideways again , you are DONE . ❜
❛ UGH , you’re useless ! ❜
❛ alright , let’s try again , shall we ? ❜
❛ YA BASIC . ❜
❛ hold that thought . is it okay if i go work out ? ❜
❛ i think this is yours . ❜
