u know what’s really fun and in style right now? making others feel loved and valued
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@vagibond
u know what’s really fun and in style right now? making others feel loved and valued
me: has a breakdown
me: gets super embarrassed about it the second I calm down
I love expressing myself via spending money
I’m in debt as performance art
a family can be just me and all the crumbs on my bed
I really can’t stress enough how important it is to talk to your friends, family members, and partners regularly about their right to set boundaries, even ones that inconvenience you.
We absolutely live in a hierarchial abuse culture where people can and do impose their will on each other in a million tiny ways. A lot of people just expect it - they’ll make choices according to the assumption that you, too, are invested in controlling them to whatever degree - because unless you consciously make a point not to be, it’s possible that you are.
In a healthy relationship people ask for consent often - “Do you want to do this? Are you comfortable with this? Is there anything you think we should change about this plan?” And then, they clarify that negative answers are totally normal and okay.
Checking in can sound like, “Hey, you know I love doing X but if you ever don’t want to you know that’s okay, right?” It’s paying attention to nonverbal cues that someone is uncomfortable and giving them an out - “You don’t seem excited about this party, I want you to know it totally won’t be a big deal if you’d rather not.”
In a healthy relationship there’s a huge difference between “no” and “you shouldn’t have asked”. “No” is normal and expected and it’s assumed that sometimes it will be the response. There’s an intentional effort not to punish each other for not always giving each other what you want.
Normalize “no” in all your relationships. Seek it out! Give people extra opportunities to say no! And accept it. Recognise that it’s a good sign when your loved ones feel safe enough to not agree to things they don’t want out of fear of your reaction.
Just - check in. I don’t care what kind of relationship it is, don’t assume people know it’s safe to say no to you unless you remind them and show them regularly. Making space for healthy boundaries is one of the most important things to communicate with the people that you care about.
@kthrynn I love how important consent/respecting boundaries is to both of us
chest - hard as a rock
thighs - soft as a beancurd
when you realize that social media converts even your deepest most personal thoughts into commodities to be consumed
To invoke natural limits on population and on natural resources without reference to the need to abolish capitalist social / production relations is, in essence, equivalent to accepting the current state of affairs. Such a position expresses nothing more than the fact that there is no will or capacity to change our state of knowledge, to radically change social goals, cultural ways of life and the technological configuration of production. It also does not express, to a much greater degree, the will to abolish economy as a separate sphere, taking on the contrary for granted that we do not have the power to collectively change the dominant social practices. In other words, a revolutionary change of society and the corresponding transformation of its relation with non‐human nature cannot be conceived in the context of the ideology of “overpopulation” and “natural limits”. As David Harvey correctly notes in the same book: “all debate about eco‐scarcity, natural limits, overpopulation, and sustainability is a debate about the preservation of a particular social order, rather than a debate about the preservation of nature per se”.
Antithesi, On the Ecology of Capitalism (via probablyasocialecologist)
I hate when I go out in public and other people are there too??? Like what the fuck
me: [facedown on the floor] listen everything is totally fine