cigarettes and starlight;

you only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough  

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radiantxxrose:

Rose could see that Vanessa was thinking too, and it worried her. Had she just lost her best friend? She hoped that she hadn’t just ruined their friendship. The tone of her voice showed what she was feeling. God, she just used her sister, and now Rose was paying the price. “Vanessa,” she said softly. “I do mean that. Thank you,” she said again, making sure to look at her eyes this time. “You’re the best friend and sister that I could ever ask for.” Taking her hand, she bit her lip. “And you’re not alone in this, okay?” she added before she felt her emotions run up. Needing an excuse to run off and think about her action, she heard commotion in the dorm hallway. “I’ll see you in a bit, okay” she said, giving her a reassuring grin before heading out of the room, wanting so badly to go back in there and kiss away her worries.

Rose could apparently tell Vanessa was second-guessing herself, which, of course she could. Nobody could read her like Rose. Still, the things Rose was trying to comfort her with weren’t helping. She’d always be her best friend and her sister, but what she needed to hear was that she wasn’t crazy for wanting...something else, too. That she wasn’t the only one. That there was more to that kiss than they were letting on. It was too much to ask, and she knew it, but she couldn’t help but want it anyway. “Yeah,” Vanessa said as Rose turned, licking her lips quickly, and god, she missed kissing her already. “See ya.”

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radiantxxrose:

Rose felt her heart shudder inconsistently, and she tried to take deep breaths to calm herself. There was so much going on inside her head, and she didn’t know how to comprehend what she felt. “Mhm,” she chirped, nodding and looking down at the floor. She wasn’t sure what else to say. She didn’t want to ruin things or say anything she regretted. “Thank you,” she added, reminding herself that this was just a favor Vanessa was doing for her, to help her figure herself out. She was sure that her attraction was real, to whom, she could never admit.

Vanessa couldn’t help but notice that Rose couldn’t look at her, and she knew exactly what that meant. Before she could stop it, regret flooded through her, with not a little dread twisting her stomach to match. What had she just done? Would her sister ever look at her ever again? She barely heard the Thank you from Rose, easily chalking it up to Rose feeling awkward with nothing else to say, because she didn’t want this. She didn’t want Vanessa. No one did. “I’m, uh...I’m glad I could help,” Vanessa said, swallowing hard. Her hands dropped from Rose’s hips.

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radiantxxrose:

The second their lips met, she felt a shockwave coursing through her body. It was like time had stopped, and she couldn’t breathe. There was no way that all of this was happening. Seconds before, she had almost pulled away, but she was glad that she hadn’t. If she wasn’t before, she definitely was attracted to women. The softness of the kiss almost made her ache for more. Feeling a second, firmer kiss on her lips, Rose sighed in content. Pulling back, she looked into her sister’s eyes and swallowed hard, her cheeks pink. She suddenly missed the feeling of her mouth on hers, and the oh-so-innocent girl she used to know placed her hands on either side of Vanessa’s face and brought her in again, kissing her firmly, feeling every inch of her. She couldn’t describe it, but once she had kissed her, she needed more.

When the kiss broke, Vanessa only had one thought. Did Rose like it? Or had she fucked everything up? Even if it was only a breath, it felt like an eternity as she met her twin’s hazel gaze. Before Vanessa knew what was happening, she felt warm hands on her face, felt Rose pulling her into another kiss, and Vanessa sank into it, melting against her sister, her arms wrapping reflexively around Rose’s back to hold her close, her lips moving against Rose’s in a slow kiss. Rose liked this. Maybe Rose even liked...her.

They were dangerously close to making out, soon, though, and when Vanessa broke the kiss it was with a sigh. Baby steps. The further they went at once, the higher the chance one of them would regret something. “So,” Vanessa murmured, licking her lips, her hands falling to Rose’s hips, not wanting to let her go completely just yet. “Is Elizabeth a good kisser, or...?”

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radiantxxrose:

This was going to be a long and hard road, if she discovered that this was truly what she wanted. She was going to be terrified, wondering what her parents would think, and what her friends would say to her. But for now, in that moment, all she could think about was taking that chance. If she didn’t, she would constantly wonder.

Her sister’s response was not what she had expected. She knew that before, she was fooling around with offering to kiss her, but the tone of Vanessa’s voice cued that she was definitely being serious. Feeling her hand on her shoulder, Rose swallowed hard, turning around to face her. She felt like she was going to break down right here, not believing what Vanessa was really doing for her. All she had to do was close her eyes and pretend that it wasn’t her. It didn’t mean anything, right? It was just a kiss to help her find out. That’s all Vanessa was going to give her. 

Looking into her eyes, she nodded. Her heart was beating slowly but heavily so that she could feel it against her chest. Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath. Sensing her, she reached down and held one of her hands in her own, feeling her own hand tremble. “I trust you,” she confirmed, ready for a new discovery, but wondering if things would change for them.

It was really all up to Vanessa now. Vanessa licked her lips, nervousness creeping up on her. Was she really going to kiss her sister? One second ago, she’d been so sure. Rose’s touch grounded her, reminded her that they both wanted this, and Rose was just so beautiful, like this...just blindingly, achingly beautiful. Fuck it, Vanessa thought. If this was a mistake, it was going to be a good one. Swallowing hard, Vanessa cupped Rose’s cheek and leaned in, closing her eyes and brushing her lips against her sister’s, a grazing kiss. She couldn’t name what it felt like, but it was so intense Vanessa could have sworn a shock went through her. She inhaled sharply and pressed another kiss to her sister’s soft lips, a little firmer, a little longer, her thumb stroking Rose’s cheek. Nothing that felt this good could be a mistake.

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radiantxxrose:

Rose stayed still through her sister’s silence. Had she done wrong by telling her? Would she freak out? There were so many questions, but she hoped that at least, she didn’t hate her for this. Nodding, she confirmed her answer. “It’s… new, but recently I’ve found myself questioning it, and.. it’s so confusing.” She paused. “And I’m not sure I was even ready to say it, but I wanted you to know that you’re not alone here.” She pushed a stray strand of hair behind her ear. “Besides me, there has to be other girls who like girls here.” The suggestion of kissing a girl made her quiver. Images flashed through her mind of kissing Vanessa, wrapping her arms around her and meshing their lips together. It felt so wrong, but she couldn’t help it. It was selfish to ask to kiss her as an excuse to try, but would she mind?

As the seconds went by, she felt her palms become sweaty. Was she really about to do this? It could’ve ruined them, but if Vanessa truly wanted to help her figure this out, than maybe it would be alright. “I was actually wondering if I could kiss…. you.” She quickly defended her statement. “It’s just that I’m not comfortable with anyone here yet, and when we watched the movie, you suggested that I try and ‘pretend that you were Darcy’… but maybe I can pretend that you’re… Elizabeth?” Or she wouldn’t pretend at all. Her nerves struck her again, and she felt like she made a horrible mistake. Removing herself from Vanessa, she walked back over to her desk, facing the window. “But if it makes you uncomfortable, I completely understand. Just forget I said anything, really.”

“It can definitely be confusing,” Vanessa agreed. “I’m here for...whatever you need.” When Rose talked about making sure Vanessa didn’t feel alone, Vanessa smiled, looking down as she rubbed the back of her neck. Her sister just cared so much. It was one of the things Vanessa loved most about her.

Vanessa was sure she misheard what Rose said next, though. She didn’t even get the chance to clarify -- Rose was already explaining herself, almost backtracking, and yeah, she was definitely asking if she could kiss Vanessa. It was everything Vanessa wanted, and she’d thought about it countless times before, but now it was real, it could actually happen, and it could change everything...for better or worse. Rose had taken the terrifying first step, and now it was Vanessa’s turn to take the next, if she wanted to. Vanessa felt like she’d already made that choice, though, and it was almost easy now.

“I’ll never be uncomfortable around you, Rose,” Vanessa said, stepping after her twin. She touched her shoulder lightly to try to encourage her to face her again. “Turn around, and close your eyes, and...trust me?”

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radiantxxrose:

Rose listened intently to what her sister said. Her hands still holding her arms, she felt her skin shiver, thinking of her own experience. She was into guys, but if the idea of being with a girl was so set in her mind as a possibility, what was the harm in trying? Ever since her night with Vanessa, she had been looking at the girls at school, noticing the way they walked and the way they smiled. There definitely were some cute girls at their school, but she wasn’t so sure if she liked any of them like that. Hearing her mention her hard-on, Rose bit her lip. Sure, that might have helped to sway her sister’s liking, but it was more than that. The kiss was what she needed to really know. “Well, maybe this.. um.. girl, could try it and find out,” she suggested with a shy grin. “A girl like… me.” Her heart pounded against her chest, wondering what Vanessa would think of her revelation.

Vanessa’s brain stopped working, everything coming to a screeching halt while she waited a second to either wake up or hear Rose explain that she was just kidding -- which would probably still leave her waiting to wake up, because it wouldn’t be like Rose to joke about this -- but neither of them came. The world had shifted around her when she wasn’t looking, definitely wasn’t ready. “Um.” She bought herself time. Vanessa would wonder later what Rose may have been thinking while she waited for her to respond. “Like you?” Vanessa asked, helplessly. She still couldn’t quite process it. Rose had been talking about herself, asking about herself. How could Vanessa have missed that? God, she was so clueless. “I mean, if you want to try kissing a girl...” Vanessa licked her lips. “Do you want my help finding one? Or do you already have a girl in mind?” Unconsciously, she held her breath for Rose’s answer.

It was, by far, one of the most selfish things to say when her sister was trying to come out to her as, well, not straight, but Vanessa couldn’t help it, as much as she knew that this was bigger than her, that this was her sister’s sexual identity they were talking about. What if...just, what if, Rose wanted to try kissing her?

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radiantxxrose:

Her sister’s comment struck her hard. She knew she didn’t mean for it to come out the way it did, but at least Rose could tell that it came from an honest place. Maybe she was right. Maybe she shouldn’t even tell Vanessa. But the more she spoke, the more Rose felt inclined to speak. “She hasn’t told anyone else. Probably won’t, either. Her parents are very against it, very much like your situation.” If only she knew just how similar. “How did you know you liked girls?” she asked, curious to know if this was just some passing phase. She had never even kissed a girl, and she didn’t know right from wrong when it came to attraction. She wanted to know what it really felt like to know.

“Yeah, that’s par for the course,” Vanessa muttered when Rose mentioned parents. Her brow furrowed at Rose’s question as she tried to think back. “I mean, I don’t really remember a turning point, I guess. I know I was never into boys the way everyone expected. Just, like, over time, I realized what I felt when I saw certain girls in school...it was what girls were expected to feel when they saw hot boys. Faster pulse, dry mouth if I thought about trying to talk to them, maybe a hard-on once I hit puberty.” Vanessa chuckled. “That last part’s probably just me. I guess, like, I got used to the idea that having a boyfriend sounded increasingly shitty and uninteresting, and having a girlfriend sounded increasingly awesome.” She hummed. “Actually, I guess, if there was a turning point, it was kissing Brittany Pierce after school on the first day of our sophomore year...my first time kissing a girl, and I was fucking hooked.” She smirked, despite herself. “Apparently, all it takes is one, if she’s good enough.”

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radiantxxrose:

The idea of leaving home like that scared her, but if they really needed to, she wouldn’t mind. It would take an adventure to get some blood rushing through her veins. Although her nerves set her back, she had always wanted to do something crazy for once. She smiled back, nodding. “I’ll keep that in mind,” she started. “Just think, the two of us in Paris.” When Vanessa questioned who it was, Rose lowered her head. She really should have expected that question, but she wasn’t ready to admit it. “Maybe your gaydar isn’t as good as you think it is.” She really wanted to avoid it, but her mind was screaming. Looking at her, she knew she couldn’t tell her about what she had been thinking about her, but she at least owed her part of the truth. “I know a girl here. She’s only recently thought about it, but enough to consider it might really be happening.” She stopped. “She’s terrified, just like you.”

Paris. That was the city of love, right? And wasn’t ‘Paris is for lovers’ a thing? What was her sister trying to say? Vanessa easily brushed that thought aside -- her gaydar may be off these days, maybe as much as Rose was implying, but her sister was also as innocent as they came, to the point she’d even wondered if Rose knew what the word innuendo meant. “Well, tell her to keep it a secret if she wants to stay out of therapy,” Vanessa said, a little more bitterly than she’d intended. “But, like...if she wants to talk or something, you can let her know I’m here and I won’t tell anyone.” Vanessa wasn’t generally helpful or nice, as a rule, but there were exceptions, and she knew whatever girl Rose knew could probably use someone to talk to, like she first had when she’d first realized how curious she was about what it felt like to kiss a girl.

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radiantxxrose:

As sweet and caring as Rose was, giving advice terrified her. She didn’t want to say the wrong thing or hurt anyone. Half of the time, she felt unqualified to help with the matter, as she lived a pretty sheltered life. She hoped, at least, that she could help her sister understand how great she was. Sensing her calming down, Rose grinned gently, glad that this was going in the right direction.

When Vanessa insinuated that she felt alone, Rose’s grin fell. She knew she couldn’t have meant that like it had come out. Of course, Vanessa had Rose. Was that not enough? She supposed not, as she figured that Vanessa wished that she had someone other than her sister to turn to for advice - an unbiased opinion. Her sister had a lot of friends at home, and she was sure that she missed them, so Rose tried not to take it too personally. “But that’s what makes you… you. I can’t imagine my sister any way else.” She paused. “We won’t be here for too long, and before you know it, we’ll be back home.” Home. A place where Vanessa wasn’t necessarily safe, either. “Or, we could always run away to Europe,” she half-joked, trying to make her grin. Becoming serious again, she lowered her head. “You can’t be the only one who likes girls here, you know.”

The cloud over Vanessa lifted slightly at her sister’s reply, her shoulders relaxing like a weight was lifted. She was right. This was her identity they were talking about. All those things, together...they formed who she was. And even if no one else ever accepted her completely, Vanessa knew Rose always would. She couldn’t help but grin when Rose mentioned Europe. “I have a friend back home who can get us passports, no questions asked,” she said, wiggling her eyebrows. Vanessa wasn’t joking with that statement, actually, but Rose probably didn’t need to know that. “Mm, why, do you know someone?” she asked when Rose mentioned she couldn’t be alone in at least one of her deviancies. “Don’t tell me your gaydar is better than mine.”

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radiantxxrose:

Rose looked out the window from her desk, watching as the raindrops scattered down the glass. The way the small amount of sun shined through the window made patterns on the wooden desk, so she traced them lightly with her finger. Her brain had been scattered lately, especially with Vanessa going to so many sessions. When her twin was in pain, she was in pain as well. Not physically, like many people believe, but seeing Vanessa in pain hurt her heart. She wanted her to be happy and to be herself, but no one was letting her. No one wanted Vanessa to be who she has always been.

Deciding to focus on her homework, Rose opened her notepad and began her math work, scribbling through the papers. Math was easy for her. It stimulated her brain enough to make her forget anything that was hurting her. On a day like today, she needed a distraction. Her math homework wasn’t strong enough to make her ignore Vanessa coming through the door. Turning around in her chair, she was about to greet her before Rose noticed Vanessa’s body language. 

Immediately, Rose stood up, pushing her chair against her desk. Before she gave Vanessa her answer, she thought about it. Sure, Vanessa wasn’t what most people would call normal. She was rough, and rebellious, and liked girls. On top of that, her organs down under were a lot different, but that had never bothered Rose. So yes, her sister wasn’t like other people, but that’s what she loved about her. “I think… you’re… hopelessly unique,” she responded. Making sure to clarify, she continued. “You’re not like everyone else. And if that makes you ‘weird’, than other people can call it that. But to me, everything right here is different and perfect,” she told her, placing her hands on her forearms. 

Looking to the ground, she figured that therapy hadn’t gone well. “You can’t listen to her, you know. The people here have their own version of how the world should work. That doesn’t make them right,” she told her. She wished that she could take all of her hurt away, but it wasn’t that easy.

Unique? Vanessa wasn’t sure what she was expecting from her sister, but it definitely wasn’t a paraphrase of the exact thing that was bothering her. When Rose continued, though, Vanessa got what she was saying, and she started to calm a bit, especially when Rose touched her arms. Her sister’s touch always had that effect on her.

“I know,” Vanessa sighed. “I just...sometimes I feel so alone, you know? Like, there’s no one here like me. Or that likes me, for that matter.” She hastily added, “I mean, I have you.” Oh, wow. Vanessa kicked herself internally. Way to cheapen the sacrifice your sister made to join you here, you jerk. “But like...” She gestured emptily. “Maybe things would be easier, especially here, if I wasn’t so unique, I guess.” If she didn’t have a cock. If she didn’t dye her hair. If she liked boys. She left the specifics unspoken.

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Vanessa was having a shitty day. It had rained all day, loudly pummeling the windows in every classroom, and she’d gotten a B- on her History quiz, then a C- on her English Lit critique, probably just for drawing random doodles in the margins. Grapes of Wrath was a shitty, boring book and she’d nailed her takedown of it; she was sure of it. To top it all off, her therapy had actually gotten to her, no matter how hard she tried to fight it off. They were just fucking words, but the old crone was crafty. Somehow, she’d figured out the right angle to play, and once Vanessa slipped, she’d gone in for the kill.

Don’t you want to be normal sometimes? she’d asked. Normal friends, normal, healthy hobbies, a normal relationship? One where everyone doesn’t look at you strangely?

Vanessa shut down even more than usual. She went from one-word answers to zero words, nods or shakes of her head. She wanted to keep fighting her, to be defiant, and tell the bitch that no, she didn’t want normal friends. Normal people were fucking boring. But she was exhausted, and somehow that last bit was enough to drive deep. Did she want a normal relationship? Fuck, yes. But more than anything, she wanted her relationship with a girl to be normal in the first place, and that might never happen. Where would that leave her? On the fringe, which is exactly where she liked to be...but not about this.

Vanessa had never been more glad to see her sister. She closed the door to their room behind her and leaned against it, crossing her arms, unconsciously defensive. “Hey,” she said, looking down. “Do you think I’m weird?” She cleared her throat. “Just...like...hopelessly, abnormal. You can be honest.”

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radiantxxrose:

Rose felt her body tense at Vanessa’s suggestion. It was like she was teasing her, tempting her to lose her cool. Suddenly, the idea of kissing Vanessa didn’t seem so bad. She thought it over for what felt like hours, but finally came to her senses. Vanessa couldn’t possible want to kiss her, she thought. She was just teasing her. Who was she kidding? And besides, only today did thoughts such as those come into her mind. It could have been a phase, and she didn’t want to ruin things between them. She put on a grin, still looking at the television. “I couldn’t do that to Lizzie,” she said, referring to Mr. Darcy’s lover. Keeping her eyes on the screen, she kept watching. Instead, she rested her head on Vanessa’s shoulder, taking a deep breath.

Vanessa didn’t realize she was holding her breath waiting for Rose to respond, but when her sister declined her offer, a soft, shaky exhale was followed with a needy inhale of oxygen. As disappointed as part of Vanessa was, another part was relieved. It was for the best, probably. If she actually kissed her sister...well, everything between them would change. Was she really prepared for that?

“Your sense of honor is inspiring,” Vanessa murmured with a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. She was glad Rose didn’t try to look at her, because she had no idea what she might have gleaned from her expression. Her thoughts whirled as Rose rested her head against her and Vanessa leaned against her in turn, both twins choosing to focus on the screen, though for Vanessa’s part, she wasn’t seeing a single frame. A kiss was one thing, but what if it didn’t even need to go that far? What if she’d already fucked everything up just by suggesting it?

“Ah shit,” she mumbled after looking at the clock. “I’m gonna be late for my meeting.” It wasn’t completely, entirely true -- she may have gotten away with finishing the movie, but she’d be cutting it close. “I’ll be back after I’m done serving my penance for the day, I guess.” She didn’t like it, but she’d rather serve time in the kitchens than face Rose after what she’d said. She felt achingly cold as she extricated herself from her sister. “Don’t wait up.”

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radiantxxrose:

Rose immediately shook her head. “I love my blonde hair,” she said in a huff. Twirling her own hair, she couldn’t imagine coloring it. It simply wasn’t her style. She did agree with her, though. When they were younger, they would play countless pranks on their friends and family. As they got older, Rose was more reluctant to play again since the obedient daughter began to form, but it was always fun nonetheless. “We had a pretty fun time, didn’t we?” They had become closer ever since, and she was so happy for that. Turning her head towards her sister, she noticed her flushed cheeks but didn’t question it. Watching the movie, she distracted herself. As soon as the lovers in the movie kissed, she bit her lip, wondering what it felt like to be kissed with that much passion. 

Vanessa only grinned wider at her sister’s huffy response. Rose was so easy to tease, and it only made it more fun. “Yeah, we did,” she said, remembering some of the fun they’d had together. “Fair enough, though. I love your blonde hair, too.” With her arm still around Rose’s shoulders, Vanessa toyed with the tips of her sister’s hair as they both fell back into the movie. When the kiss happened on the screen, Vanessa risked a sidelong glance to see Rose biting her lip, and the worst idea ever came to her. Vanessa lived to act on bad ideas, and before she could change her mind, she joked, “You look like you really need to kiss someone...if you want to close your eyes and imagine I’m Mr. Darcy I won’t tell anyone.” Despite the lightness of her tone, there was enough seriousness mixed in that it was up to Rose to decide whether she meant it or not.

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radiantxxrose:

Rose felt her nerves light on fire when her lips grazed her cheek. They had been close plenty times before, but ever since they had came to the boarding school, Vanessa seemed to have something new on her mind. She wasn’t sure what had been going on, but Rose was starting to feel something new as well. Her lips were so close to grazing Vanessa’s, and she almost hated that she wanted that. It was wrong, and she knew she’d hate herself for even thinking it. Distracting herself from her thoughts, she turned her attention back to Vanessa’s words. “Only a little,” she said with a shy smile. It was true that they were twins, but even without the difference in hair color, they had a different way about them that made them unique on their own. “At least now, people can tell us apart,” she added, playing with Vanessa’s hair. 

Vanessa grinned at her sister’s touch, leaning into it slightly. “Are you sure I can’t talk you into a little cut and color?” she chuckled. “C’mon, you know it was fun to switch places back in the day.” It felt like forever since she’d had long, blonde hair like her sister, but she hadn’t exactly been born with her artfully messy pink locks. More than anything, Vanessa was glad the subject had turned away from anything...unsafe. With the adrenaline from the near-kiss and her sister’s closeness and touch, her body was reacting, her cheeks flushing a little from arousal.

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radiantxxrose:

Rose’s body switched back and forth between being tense and relaxed. It didn’t make sense to her, but she knew that she had to keep it cool. Vanessa was right about one thing - since the school was short on boys, her chances of kissing anyone anytime soon were low. But in the back of her mind, she wondered what it would be like to kiss a girl. She had never really considered it, but she wasn’t against it. Hearing Vanessa calling her lips kissable made Rose’s heart drop, and she grinned nervously, glancing quickly at her sister’s before turning back to the TV. “If we could find someone who’d be willing to kiss them,” she responded, keeping her eyes on the screen. 

Vanessa smiled. “Anyone who wouldn’t is crazy,” she said. “You’re really pretty, Rose.” Impulsively, she leaned in and kissed Rose’s cheek, almost the corner of her mouth, her lips dangerously close to brushing against her twin’s. She settled back, her heart pounding at how close she’d come to doing what she really wanted to, and how she wouldn’t have a good explanation if Rose asked her why she’d just done that. They were close and always had been, but comforting cheek kisses were a new thing from her. “Wait, does it make me vain if I call you pretty?” she teased.

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radiantxxrose :

Rose smiled softly, nodding. “Everyone’s allowed to have feelings. It’s a part of being human,” she mused. “Even if some people are stubborn about it.” Teasing Vanessa, she sighed. She knew that Vanessa’s history with relationships was a lot different than her own, so if she didn’t want to show her feelings, she had every reason to. But she hoped in the future that Vanessa would want to open herself up again. She deserved to be happy, even if that meant she was alone. She would always have Rose.

The question spurred her heart. She took a few moments before responding. “Two years,” she responded. She hadn’t really thought about it, so she was surprised how long it had been. Her last ‘relationship’, with Evan, was short and sweet, for as long as it lasted. She wished that he had fought for her instead of falling to her father’s wrath. Her father had no reason to dislike him, he just had high standards, and according to him, Evan didn’t make the cut. “I almost forget what it feels like,” she said honestly.  

“I’ll take stubborn,” Vanessa said with a nod. It was only fair. When Rose said it had been two years for her, she knew that was about the time she and Even were a thing. For it to have been so long though... “Then your memory’s better than mine,” she said. “It’s been a couple months for me and I thought I was forgetting.” Not for the first time, guilt crept over Vanessa about Rose being in this virtual prison with her. “I’d say let’s find you a cute boy to remind you, but.” She shrugged, her gaze dropping to Roses’ lips again. “Those kissable lips are kind of out of luck in here as far as that goes...we’ll have to sneak you out to find you one of those.” Vanessa smirked quickly to recover herself, playfully squeezing her sister’s shoulder as she returned her gaze to the movie. It was no big deal for her to compliment her sister’s appearance like that, right? Sisters should be able to call each other’s lips kissable. Especially when it was true.

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radiantxxrose:

Curling into her more, she grinned, feeling at ease. Facing her, she noticed Vanessa’s eyes glance at her lips. Biting her lips quickly, she felt her heart race. She wasn’t quite sure, really. She had been this close to Vanessa before, and they were sisters. She dispelled any want to move her head closer. That crazy thought passed her mind, and she hoped that Vanessa wouldn’t do it again, or it’d come back. 

Rose murmured softly. “Mhm.” Grinning, she looked at Vanessa again. “That’s what I love about you. You act all tough but you can be sappy when you need to be,” she said with a giggle. At least to her, Vanessa was sweet. She may tease her and joke around, but she cared about Rose and showed it. Rose didn’t doubt that Vanessa had feelings - she was just more reserved about it. “Your secret is safe with me,” she responded. That crazy thought crossed her mind again, so she quickly turned her head back towards the TV. “At least you’ve had someone to share those feelings with,” she added softly. Rose had a boyfriend a few years ago, but it wasn’t serious. She had yet to experience what people described as ‘true love’.

“I’m not sappy,” Vanessa protested. “I’m just allowed to have feelings sometimes.” She cleared her throat. “Top secret, of course.” When Rose mentioned her having had someone, she held Rose a little tighter for a second, hugging her at her side with her head tilting to rest against her sister’s. “It’s not all it’s cracked up to be,” she replied, just as soft. Yeah, she’d had something a little more serious than Rose, but she’d gotten burned for it. She can still remember how she felt when Jess asked her to stop dying her hair pink so people stopped looking at them ‘like that’ in public. What still pisses her off to this day is that she liked Jess enough that she actually thought about it for five seconds.

She almost changed herself for her.

Vanessa sighed, sadly, as the scenes played out in front of them. “When’s the last time you kissed someone?” she murmured.