[nowindever]

Sometimes you gotta just pace around a room and give yourself your own damn TEDtalk

[yoonswife]

i love myself but i dont love me back

[slavery]

Thanks to my axe™ body spray and nike™ elite socks I have over 12 gf’s

[vv-cool]

me: I really!!!! want!!! people!!!! to help!!!! me with!!!! my problems!!!!!!!

brain: you have to tell people about your problems first.

me: disgusting. atrocious. completely repugnant. I have never heard anything so vile. get out of my sight immediately.

[rijaujkani]

[rubbertit-deactivated20171226]

2k14 is gon be my year

[rubbertit-deactivated20171226]

2k16* fo real this time

[vv-cool]

Reporter: What is 2+2?

Donald Trump answers the question: "I have to say a lot of people have been asking this question. No, really. A lot of people come up to me and they ask me. They say, 'What's 2+2'? And I tell them look, we know what 2+2 is. We've had almost eight years of the worst kind of math you can imagine. Oh my God, I can't believe it. Addition and subtraction of the 1s the 2s and the 3s. It's terrible. It's just terrible. Look, if you want to know what 2+2 is, do you want to know what 2+2 is? I'll tell you. First of all the number 2, by the way, I love the number 2. It's probably my favorite number, no it is my favorite number. You know what, it's probably more like the number two but with a lot of zeros behind it. A lot. If I'm being honest, I mean, if I'm being honest. I like a lot of zeros. Except for Marco Rubio, now he's a zero that I don't like. Though, I probably shouldn't say that. He's a nice guy but he's like, '10101000101,' on and on, like that. He's like a computer! You know what I mean? He's like a computer. I don't know. I mean, you know. So, we have all these numbers, and we can add them and subtract them and add them. TIMES them even. Did you know that? We can times them OR divide them, they don't tell you that, and I'll tell you, no one is better at the order of operations than me. You wouldn't believe it. So, we're gonna be the best on 2+2, believe me."

[dalmatianed]

kids having birthday parties and no one showing up is the worst thing im in math class and im gonna cry thinkin about this

[halogenuine-deactivated20150201]

i was babysitting a little boy and girl once and the boy asked me if i had a boyfriend and i said “no!! but i have a girlfriend!” and he said “like a friend thats a girl?” and i said “no like a boyfriend but they’re a girl instead of a boy! we still do couple things but we’re just both girls” and he said, without missing a beat, “oh ok! are you gonna marry her?”

like it’s literally that easy for kids to understand

[halogenuine-deactivated20150201]

the cutest part of this was when afterwards the kid said ‘so i could have a boyfriend if i wanted to?’ and i said yes, but to be careful because some people are mean to boys who have boyfriends and he pushes up his sleeves and goes ‘well then i’ll beat them up! if i wanna have a boyfriend i’m gonna have a boyfriend!!! i’ll even marry him if i wanna!’

[linoondles]

oh hey it got more adorable

[lintott-blog]

no one ever likes me as much as i like them and that’s it 

[amazoogle]

me on chopped: *makes a smoothie out of all the ingredients*

[amazoogle]

*stands around for the remaining 18 minutes*

[joemerrell]

[grandestrology-deactivated20150]

I don’t wanna get involved in the drama I just wanna know 103% of the information on what happened

[vv-cool]

My aesthetic is 2012 1D lyric videos where they have their faces next to the lyrics so you know who's singing.

[rangeofsight]

[zourseok]

[2treehill]

how do you get a nice body without moving

[childmagazine]

by learning to love yourself

[nachtfunken]

wow