what i said when you weren't listening

i would have kissed him one last time

[whatihaveyettowrite]

I tasted the vodka on your lips that night. I should have known all you said was a lie.

excerpts from a book I have yet to write // what I said while you weren’t listening

[whatihaveyettowrite]

you came back, but you never really came back to me.

excerpts from a book I have yet to write // what I said while you weren’t listening

[whatihaveyettowrite]

She asked me what day I would replay if I could Any day that I got to be with you before you broke my heart

excerpts from a book I have yet to write // what I said while you weren’t listening

[whatihaveyettowrite]

I find myself praying every night, "either let me be with him, or let me forget him."

excerpts from the book i have yet to write // what i said while you weren’t listening

[whatihaveyettowrite]

It’s true you will be the one I tell my children about. I’ll tell them how they should aspire to be like you. Love like you. Live to the fullest like you. I’ll tell them of your strengths and how you overcame your weaknesses. How no one could ever have one bad word to say about you. But it would have been a lot better if you could have been here to show them yourself

excerpts from a book i’ll never write // what I said while you were’t listening

[whatihaveyettowrite]

i tried not to look for you in every person I met, but without fail I would find your eyes staring back at me from a perfect stranger. I would recognize the back of your head or the shape of your nose, or the warmth of your smile.  the only thing I could never find was your kiss.  like the rest of you, it had ruined me.  you see I could never look at the boy who asked me to run away with him without seeing you in his eyes and knowing I would leave him in the beat of a heart just to see you one more time.  I would give up the boy who worshipped at my feet to be kissed by you, if only just once more.  there is no competition between the scraps of those who loved me and you.

excerpts from the book i have yet to write // what i said while you weren’t listening

[whatihaveyettowrite]

I could tell you what love feels like, but more than that I can tell you what it doesn't feel like; it doesn't make your heart break every time someone mentions his name.  your heart won't pound to the point of panic with every passing day that pulls you further from him.  when he achieves his dreams you will be happy for him, rather than resenting that it was not you who stood next to him as he did it. but most of all, when you know he doesn't love you back, it won't feel like the world has ended.

excerpts from the book i have yet to write // what i said while you weren’t listening

[whatihaveyettowrite]

i met you and then it was as if every sad song i heard was about you

excerpts from the book i have yet to write // what i said while you weren’t listening

[whatihaveyettowrite]

when i first realized i loved you my life was crumbling around me, but your presence was enough for me to forget it all; to not feel any of the pain. for once in my life i was actually, finally happy. and then you left.  you left and i had to feel it all.

excerpts from the book i have yet to write // what i said while you weren’t listening

[whatihaveyettowrite]

what would i say if i could see him again?                                                                                                       i’d say: i love you.  i loved every second i got to spend with you.  i love when your face is the last thing i see at night and the first in the morning.  i love the sound of your heartbeat as my head lays on your chest.  i love the drunken words that spill from your lips.  i love when your hair get too long and hides your eyes. ahh, your eyes; i love the worlds buried in them.  i love your kisses.  i could write poems about your voice.  love letters to your laughter. songs to your lips.                                       i would say, “i love you, still.”

excerpts from the book i have yet to write // what i said while you weren’t listening

[whatihaveyettowrite]

how am i to write the perfect poem when he is already living on earth?

excerpts from the book i have yet to write // what i said while you weren’t listening

[whatihaveyettowrite]

and suddenly everything had been striped from my life.  except you.  you were the only thing remaining.  you became my home; my heart.  i really did let myself believe i was finally safe.  and then as sudden as before, you were gone too.

excerpts from the book i have yet to write // what i said while you weren’t listening

[whatihaveyettowrite]

i changed everything about myself.  i bleached my hair, changed how i dressed, moved. but nothing could make me not the girl that loved you

excerpts from the book i have yet to write // what i said while you weren’t listening

[whatihaveyettowrite]

he told me he loved me the other night.  i was laying in his arms and he said it so simply, it was as if it was the easiest thing for him to feel or know. i know i care for him as well -he's the best thing that's happened to me- but still, nothing can stop me from wishing i could hear it come from your mouth one more time.

excerpts from the book i have yet to write // what i said while you weren’t listening

[whatihaveyettowrite]

i did it; i cut you out of my life. it was the hardest thing i've ever had to do, and you knew it would be. tell me why then, why you insist on clawing your way back in whichever crack or crevice you can find? can you sense me healing? does it draw you to me in some attempt to heal yourself

excerpts from the book i have yet to write // what i said while you weren’t listening

[whatihaveyettowrite]

it’s hard to watch the person you love the most continue to ruin their life. After a while you find that you must walk away; not because you’ve fallen out of love, but because sitting by only breaks your own heart.

excerpts from the book i have yet to write // tessa elise // what i said while you weren’t listening

[whatihaveyettowrite]

i just want to go back; maybe i could hold you a little longer

excerpts from the book i have yet to write // what i said while you weren’t listening