enter if you dare @wildwestsurvivor - Tumblr Blog

I fucking love not participating in things that make me feel immensely uncomfortable

I'm severely depressed. I can't afford to live and breathe. I don't want to be here anymore 😢. Everything is so pointless.

Edit: I got my serotonin inhibitors increased, so I don't feel this way anymore. Until I do, again. It's inevitable. Lol

Premenstrual dysphoric disorder sucks ass, but I'm thankful for these anti depressants.

"Take your broken heart, and go make art." -Carrie Fisher

My skull is too small to hold my fucking brain

Holy shit.

I'm still processing this shit.

It makes SO MUCH sense, omg.

I'm not even officially diagnosed yet, I diagnosed myself 😂🤪 ... Once my cardiologist sees my fucking MRI he'll tell me it's a Chiari. I can't believe my primary care doctor didn't recognize it, but then again they don't recognize any of my issues at all without me steering them to certain tests and diagnoses after my research. At least they worked with me..

I've done HOURS of research. So much that when people tell me about it like they're teaching it to me, I'm proud and annoyed at the same time. Haha! And then my Alexithymia makes me look fucking CLUELESS! Lol. Oh the irony.

I've been thinking about the trouble I've had my whole life with this. Not just with my behavior, but my cognitive abilities like my memory retention along with muscle weakness, headaches, etc. Good God, I've always had migraines, but I was unable to recognize them and eventually I just ignored the pain...

I'm terrified of death! I hope I live long enough to complete some items off of the ol' bucket list.

I've been thinking about all of the trouble I've had and all of the people who were an asshole to me because of said trouble.... UGH! I fucking hate those people. I wouldn't be sad if they all received some bad news in their lives... Just saying 🤷 MY BRAIN IS TOO BIG FOR MY SKULL!!! You assholes.

And now I'm cutting myself some MAJOR fucking slack. Holy shit! I deserve all of the slack... I've been SO hard on myself, omg. I need all of the hugs and the cuddles from people I would let touch me. Hahaha 😂😭

If life wasn't so expensive, I wouldn't feel the need to escape it

The way I was diagnosed with Attachment Disorder is interesting to me.

I wasn't told I had Attachment Disorder, because my therapist said that she didn't feel like it was a problem that needed to be made apparent. I had applied for disability, and social security contacts all of the doctors the person who is applying has, to see what diagnoses they have. I was reading my "report" of denial 🖕 from stupid SS and there it was. Attachment Disorder. I was like... Wtf? Lol. So I asked her about it and that's when she told me... She said that usually she'll tell people if she feels like it's a problem. Like for example, somebody with Attachment Disorder could take something a friend says the wrong way or they could cut off all contact after one small disagreement or fight. She had even used some people who had cut me off as an example, so I guess I met other AD peeps in the wild... Anyways. So, yeah! She said that I have a very good judge of character and that my AD is not getting in my own way. It's interesting to think about.

Same

Wow. I'm so happy right now. Ever since I found out I have a chiari malformation. I fucking KNEW it! The Brain Toxicity diagnosis didn't sit well with me. I was super skeptical! I'm deformed as fuck! Haha! My arms are taller than I am, and my brain is too big for my skull. Well, I'll be damned. I'm still hot 😂. Ugh, but now I might need to look into brain surgery 😢. That scares tf out of me. I hate being put under. I have a panic attack each time.

My heart craves you.

My soul sees you .

It's interstellar magnetic.

I feel the forces of time pulling me into your tides.

It feels so strange yet so familiar.

I desire to blush of embarrassment while gazing into your beautiful eyes.

I feel so wild inside of my mind.

In my spare daydreams.. we devour each other.

I'm pulsating around you when we climax together.

I only want to be touched by you.

Grey eyes in my head

I'm magnetized by you, dear