not your toy boy

private & selective winn schott jr. of supergirl cw. penned by katie.

[whittledgiraffes--a-blog]

                      “       sorry for being       GOOFY       in the   priest’s   office.       ”

indie, private, & selective detective michael cordero, jr. of the cw’s jane the virgin. penned by katie. // psd.

[winndowsvista-blog]

SO i will be moving winn (at least temporarily — i might get a new blog up and running for winn in the near future) to my multi-muse as a secondary muse, probably until the hiatus returns, although the new promo was promising !! if you want to write/interact with me & winn, give us a follow over on @asheartsfade​ for the time being. i think things here are just kind of messy & i get overwhelmed by my dash sometimes, which decreases my already low productivity, and things are much cleaner over there and i’m super active there. you can also find me at @onamoonshadow as well.

[winndowsvista-blog]

SO i will be moving winn (at least temporarily --- i might get a new blog up and running for winn in the near future) to my multi-muse as a secondary muse, probably until the hiatus returns, although the new promo was promising !! if you want to write/interact with me & winn, give us a follow over on @asheartsfade​ for the time being. i think things here are just kind of messy & i get overwhelmed by my dash sometimes, which decreases my already low productivity, and things are much cleaner over there and i'm super active there. you can also find me at @onamoonshadow as well.

[winndowsvista-blog]

PSA: i am officially putting this blog on SEMI-HIATUS. i don’t know if it’s the show’s hiatus, my own discomfort with the fandom, or some uncomfortable/discouraging conversations & experiences on here or some sort of combination of all of these, but despite wanting to write winn i just cannot bring myself to log in here, and even when i can, it’s nearly impossible for me to get writing done. that being said, if you do consider me a friend, would like to continue writing with me, and are open to crossovers (aka my favorite things), you can find me on @onamoonshadow & @asheartsfade (which is also where my imra is now). i would move winn onto my multi-muse, but i’m not sure how much of the problem that would solve, and i know i would lose some of my favorite writing partners, as they don’t write with multi-muses. so all that being said, that’s where i’m at right now. 

[winndowsvista-blog]

PSA: i am officially putting this blog on SEMI-HIATUS. i don’t know if it’s the show’s hiatus, my own discomfort with the fandom, or some uncomfortable/discouraging conversations & experiences on here or some sort of combination of all of these, but despite wanting to write winn i just cannot bring myself to log in here, and even when i can, it’s nearly impossible for me to get writing done. that being said, if you do consider me a friend, would like to continue writing with me, and are open to crossovers (aka my favorite things), you can find me on @onamoonshadow & @asheartsfade (which is also where my imra is now). i would move winn onto my multi-muse, but i’m not sure how much of the problem that would solve, and i know i would lose some of my favorite writing partners, as they don’t write with multi-muses. so all that being said, that’s where i’m at right now. 

[winndowsvista-blog]

fracticns:

Kara’s lips thinned and she shrunk in upon herself. He hated her. The woman never thought that she’d see the day but it had finally come. Swallowing as if her throat was coated in sandpaper, she made an unintelligible noise. Kara cared. She did care, she cared too much. Closing herself off from that had been a mistake, she realized this. Having it thrown back in her face felt like Winn had just shoved a jagged piece of Kryptonite right into her heart. He didn’t want her in his life anymore. Was this a nightmare? She’d had horrific dreams like this before that involved James or Winn or Lena telling her that they didn’t want her around anymore. Maybe she was asleep. A soft huff of breath forced its way out of the Kryptonian’s lungs as her eyes teared up. “I’m sorry.” She choked out before she backed herself toward the door once more. “I’m sorry.” It was a broken whisper the second time before she bumped into the door frame, eyes averting from Winn’s. That look in his eyes made her feel like he was tearing a hole through her. Stumbling into the hallway of the apartment complex, Kara stood there as a single tear streamed down her cheek. This hurt even worse than the time they had taken a break from each other after Winn had told her that he was in love with her. Somehow this felt different, it felt permanent…..

          winn let the door slam after without a second thought, bolting the locks shut so that no more unwanted guests could get in. he retreated back to his room, getting back to work on what he’d so desperately been asking to do. it was obvious that he wasn’t himself; it was easy to tell just by looking in his eyes. there was no feeling behind them whatsoever. he was barely blinking. that wasn’t winn. and the conscious part of him, the part not trapped under his father’s spell deep, deep down, was begging for someone to notice and to help him. but alas, he just seemed to be burning more and more bridges, all a part of the big master plan, of course.

[winndowsvista-blog]

fracticns:

The woman swallowed but did not shrink back further, instead Kara reached out to take one of Winn’s hands and wrapped it up on both of hers. “Winn, please.” She begged him. “Please tell me what I can do to make things better between us. I can’t handle you being upset with me.” She hugged his hand close to her chest. “You are my best friend, no matter what. I know that I haven’t been a very good friend to you but I needed time to recover after Mon-El….. I’m so sorry that you felt like I abandoned you.” 

          winn yanked his hand away, his expression unchanged and eyes still as hollow as they’d been the whole time. “you can get out of my apartment,” he practically seethed. “i didn’t feel like you abandoned me, kara. you did. that’s just fact. ever since you met him, i mattered less and less and less to you. so why do you even care what i’m doing? why do you care how i feel now, all of a sudden?” he practically scoffed, inwardly rolling his eyes. “think about how much heartbreak i went through, and think about how often i was an asshole to my friends. to you. please, for the love of god, get out of my apartment, and don’t bother me again. i have things to do           important things. things that do not involve you. like everything else i intend to do with my life going forward.”

[winndowsvista-blog]

fracticns:

“I do care, Winn. You — I—.” Kara pursed her lips, the crinkline in her forehead raging. He was right, she’d been a terrible friend to him but she had been a terrible friend to everyone, not just specifically him. She had even blocked her sister out for two weeks after Mon-El. Yeah – well. Excuses. “You do matter and how can you say that when Kora is head over heels for you?” Loyalties? “Loyalties? What loyalties?”

         “actions speak louder than words,” winn answered derisively, taking a step towards her with an air of aggression. “kara, please get out of my apartment.” on paper, his request may have sounded polite, but his tone carried a hard edge. “i did not invite you in. i made it clear i’d like to be alone. barging in anyways has only made me more irritated.”

[winndowsvista-blog]

fracticns:

Blinking, Kara took a step back once she was inside of Winn’s apartment. It was so — worrying to see him act this way. He had never been aggressive toward her in the years she had known him. It made her very uncomfortable. “Winn.” Her voice was soft, almost a whisper. “What happened to you?” She was past worried now. Kara knew that her sister could piss just about anyone off, that was engrained in her but — this was definitely having to do specifically with Winn.

         “you don’t just get to turn around and be my friend again and act like you care --- that’s not how this works.” winn’s tone was like ice, biting and cutting and stone cold. his expression matched, save for the vacuous look in his eyes. “nothing happened to me, kara. nothing except maybe i realized where i stand with everyone and how much i matter --- or don’t matter --- to certain people. helped me to know where my loyalties should really lie.”

[winndowsvista-blog]

fracticns:

She didn’t want to have to do this, but Kara took her glasses off so that she could scan his apartment from where she stood. She didn’t even try to hide it, either. “What are you doing in there?” Her brows knitted together. “Winn — is this about your father?” She pushed the door open and walked into the apartment. “Tell me what’s happening.”

          something seemed to light in his eyes, ever so very briefly, at the mention of his father --- a quick spurt of fire that dissipated as quickly as it had appeared in the first place. “what i am doing in here is none of your business,” winn answered sharply, his tone biting. he hurried to stand in front of her when she just walked right into his apartment. “i didn’t say you could come in. leave, please. just leave me alone. what --- you ignore me for months and months, you push me away for months and months and now you suddenly want to spy on me and interrogate me? nope, no, i don’t think so.”

[winndowsvista-blog]

fracticns:

Well that was rude. Kara scoffed. “You think I’m here because of Kora? I thought she was with you.” The woman lied, thinking to herself about how it sounded like the truth. “Can we at least talk? Please?”

         “right, i’ll buy that,” winn muttered sardonically. he leaned against the doorframe, relaxing a little but still not letting the door open any more than he wanted it to, which was not very much. “what do you want to talk about? i’m busy, kara, i told you. i need to be left alone, and you are irritating me, actually, so i’d appreciate it if you either made this snappy or           even better           just turned around and scooted on home.”

[winndowsvista-blog]

fracticns:

“Hey, Winn.” Kara smiled, sucking in a breath after she spoke. “Can I come in?” She questioned, trying to play off the fact that he was totally acting weird. She thought about asking if Kora was here but she refrained. That would probably agitate him even more than he seemed to be. 

         “no.” he spoke bluntly, staring blankly ahead at her. “i’m busy, and i’m sure you’re only over here cause your sister said something.” winn leaned against the doorframe, still keeping the door barely open. “it’d just be so awesome if you all could just leave me alone.”

[winndowsvista-blog]

fracticns:

After Kora had come to her about Winn, Kara decided to go and check the situation for herself. She knocked on the door a few times, waiting for her friend to answer, but not letting him know who it was so that he would have to open up. If Kora was coming to her about Winn, then something serious was up. It was up to her to save the day.

         having reached a level of high concentration after kora left, perfectly happy to be shut up in his apartment alone, taking care of the work he could only take care of when he was finally left alone. all that being said, the knock at the door agitated him once more, and he would’ve ignored it had the perpetrator not knocked a few times. heaving a heavy sigh, winn made his way to the door, opening it just enough to be seen. “can i help you?”

[winndowsvista-blog]

fracticns:

None of it. Kora wanted none of it. Not with this shell of the man that she — she wasn’t even going to let herself think of the stupid feelings she’d developed. Those eyes. There was nothing behind them. They were empty. This suddenly struck fear into Kora. If he was this apathetic, he would hurt her. She wasn’t about to let that happen. Without another word, Kora showed herself out of the door, not bothering to turn around for one last glance, she didn’t want to remember Winn this way. 

          at least she’d left instead of just continuing to sit there and wallow. winn watched her go with apathy and annoyance, rolling his eyes and shaking his head slightly. honestly? good riddance, if she was going to be so weird around him and manipulate him. he had business to attend to, anyways, and he could get a head start on it now that she was finally gone. who just shows up to someone’s apartment like that, anyways? making sure he locked the door behind her, winn retreated to his room to start in on that work.

[winndowsvista-blog]

fracticns:

The woman, the strong woman, the defiant woman looked the complete opposite. Eyes hooded with regret and pain, she looked like she had collapsed in on herself. Kora forced herself to look into those dead eyes and she let out a shaky breath. “Just tell me that you never want to see me again.” She deserved this, didn’t she? For being such a cold-hearted bitch, for trying to protect herself from the world and everyone who was out to break her heart. 

            “why would i tell you that?” winn asked, agitation growing more and more by the second. “just cut it out, will you? the hell do you want from me? a sappy rom-com romance? huh? pity?” his tone was heated, loud, and raised, but his stare was dead. “look, if you’re gonna be such a damn buzzkill, i shouldn’t have to tell you to leave, you should just do it.”

[winndowsvista-blog]

my winn muse has been really tanking and i’m not sure if it’s the fact that we’re on such a long supergirl hiatus, the fact that there’s a ton of negativity on this dash as opposed to my others, or simply the fact that i’m legitimately terrified of ninety-nine percent of the sg fandom but i don’t envision myself being very active on here, at least for the rest of this week. if you’d like to find me/write with me over messenger or with one of my other muses (!!) i’ll be on @onamoonshadow & @asheartsfade.

[winndowsvista-blog]

fracticns:

If there was a form of kryptonite that could be used in words, then Winn had just shredded her heart with it. The feeling of letting someone in had been so nice for that short period of time, but now it was going to leave yet another scar. This was exactly why Kora didn’t trust anyone. Hands in her lap, the woman sat there staring blankly at the man that she no longer knew.  “If you didn’t want me around anymore, if you wanted me out of your life you should have just told me instead of playing games.” She stood up as she spoke, sounding utterly defeated. “I knew that this would happen, and I let myself fall for you anyway because I thought that you were different.” He wasn’t, he was the same as everyone else. 

         “i’m not playing any games,” winn answered bluntly, resisting the urge to roll his eyes at her again -- she seemed to be making him want to do that more and more as of late. “i don’t know what you’re trying to accomplish with your dumb little speech -- i’m sorry i wasn’t what you expected, but that’s how it works sometimes. why should i fault myself because you didn’t get what you wanted?”