E•Storya

[world-of-e-nonymous]

At kung hindi manatili Ikaw ay hindi mali Mahalaga ang sarili Mahal ka Nya palagi ~

[world-of-e-nonymous]

"Okay lang yan, ano magagawa natin ganon talaga." Yan yung nagtop2 ako nung 3rd year highschool. It was the only validation that I need on the first time I heard this from you. Nung mga oras na yon naramdaman ko na hindi ko kailangan ng opinyon ng iba. Im hugging you while you're driving me to school. The feeling was very comforting.

Ngayon, sinabi mo ulit may mga salita ka pang idinagdag. But this time the impact is different. Hindi ko matatanggap yung hanggang dun nalang. Excuse lang yan ng mga taong tinamad na sa pangarap nila. I am immature and selfish, kahit sabihin mo sakin yan thousand times, I will not be hurt kasi totoo naman. Pero eto: "Bumagsak ka sana" "Bakit ba kasi ayaw mong tumigil, kung hanggang dun nalang, hanggang dun nalang" iba yung impact. You are the first person to believe me, alam na alam ko yun kaya ngayon sobrang sakit.

Bukas, gigising ako na kunwari wala akong narinig. Gusto kong may sabihin, gusto kong ipaliwanag na mali ka but I'd rather do it. Hindi ako hanggang dito lang. Walang may gustong bumagsak. Mahirap bumangon at mag-umpisa ng paulit-ulit pero paulit-ulit ko ding pinipili para sayo, sa inyong lahat. Hindi lahat ng magandang bagay ay nakukuha agad-agad. Darating din yung panahon na maiintindihan mo ako. ✨

[world-of-e-nonymous]

Grabe yung iyak ko nito pero naintindihan ko na, somehow it’s your way of protecting me pero buti nalang makulit ako kasi ngayon may CPA ka na. I love you Appa!  Happy Father’s Day!

[world-of-e-nonymous]

Pagbabalik

Hiling ko ay kapayapaan

Hanap sayo ay kaligtasan,

Malayang pagpapahayag

Nang buhay na naglalayag

[world-of-e-nonymous]

[E]ntry #3

Eto nanaman ako sa yugto na nagtatanong kung kaya ba o kakayanin ba? Nagbabasa ako tapos sa loob ko gusto ko ng maiyak. I dont want to share this to my parents because I dont want them to worry, ayokong pauwiin nila ako because I still have a lot of topics to read and to learn.

You are the only one that I can and I want to talk to Lord. Natatakot nanaman po ako but I prayed for this diba? Ginusto ko na maramdaman na mahina ako. Sabi ko remind me to be humble and to recognize that I cannot do this alone. I want to acknowledge You in every minute of my life. Ayokong maging masaya palagi kasi natatakot ako na baka makalimutan ko Ikaw. Gusto ko na sa tabi Mo. Gusto kong lumaban kasama Ka. Hindi ko alam kung saan patungo ang lahat ng ito, bukas ako sa posibilidad na baka bumagsak ako. Hindi ko gustong kumapit Sayo dahil gusto kong pumasa but rather I want to feel your presence because You bring peace to my heart. You are my safe haven. Hindi na ako natatakot para sa sarili ko kasi alam ko na nandyan Ka, na may plano kang maganda sa akin, na totoo yung "In God's perfect time". Nababagabag ako para sa pangarap ng pamilya, sa mga magulang at kapatid na nagsakripisyo sa laban na ito. Hawakan mo pa ang kamay ko para magpatuloy na lumaban para sa kanila, samahan mo pa ako para sa kanila para sabay tayong babalik sa aming tahanan at ikukwento kung paano Mo binago ang pananaw ko.

[world-of-e-nonymous]

Lord, break my heart if necessary.

It is indeed one of my boldest prayer lalo na at naguumpisa palang din yung faith ko nito pero salamat Jesus! Masakit, mahirap but I can’t even deny the fact na it is unexplainably a good feeling. Sobrang iba sa pakiramdam after 2 years, its still my prayer pero iba yung confidence knowing and feeling that there is Your presence. Salamat sa faithfulness mo Abba!

[world-of-e-nonymous]

07.25.21

Provider > Provision

[world-of-e-nonymous]

Food for the spirit

You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, 6 but showing love to a thousand generations of those who love me and keep my commandments.

Exodus 20:5-6

Its hard to follow the rules because sometimes it ruins our definition of fun and independence but in reality obedience brings us freedom. Freedom from harm and danger. Nagging and shouting from parents cause misunderstandings and “tampo” from a child or a teenager but now that we are a little bit older, I actually realize that following those do’s and don'ts eventually bring good. I appreciate them more now.

Same with Our Father in heaven, he established the 10 Commandments for us to be guided and be away from sin. God do not want his sons and daughters to be in danger. God loves us so much!

[world-of-e-nonymous]

Laban pa din!!! ❤

[world-of-e-nonymous]

CTT

Thank you G! The best ka talaga!!! 🥺💖

[world-of-e-nonymous]

let love be genuine

[world-of-e-nonymous]

[E]ntry v2.0

Its been a year, ang dami ng nangyari. I'm very thankful because eventhough that 365 days did not become smooth sailing you never leave me Lord. 🥺 Some opportunities closed but you gave me another blessings. Thank you for making what seems impossible to me becomes possible through your grace.

Blessings 20.20

I launched Paperrella Project and it able support my online classes.

2020 CPH Team Supervisor

Certified Tax Technician 2020 (No official result yet pero claim ko na Lord ha)

I moved on and accepted na hindi sya para sakin

You made me realize not to chase and wait for someone who will pursue me.

You continuously open my eyes to see room for improvements.

Thank you my Constant, mahal kita!

[world-of-e-nonymous]

Lord, sana para sakin na to. 🥺

[world-of-e-nonymous]

The bad side about me is I can be heartless and I can be rude. Kaya kong mawalan ng pake, when you pushed me to the limit.

[world-of-e-nonymous]

I miss life without corona 🥺 Since today is sunday, usually I'd force myself to wake up early to catch a bus bound to QC. Id listen to podcasts and take down notes para magising yung diwa ko tapos excited ako sa last subject kasi punta kaming Victory after.

[world-of-e-nonymous]

"Okay lang yan, ano magagawa natin ganon talaga." Yan yung nagtop2 ako nung 3rd year highschool. It was the only validation that I need on the first time I heard this from you. Nung mga oras na yon naramdaman ko na hindi ko kailangan ng opinyon ng iba. Im hugging you while you're driving me to school. The feeling was very comforting.

Ngayon, sinabi mo ulit may mga salita ka pang idinagdag. But this time the impact is different. Hindi ko matatanggap yung hanggang dun nalang. Excuse lang yan ng mga taong tinamad na sa pangarap nila. I am immature and selfish, kahit sabihin mo sakin yan thousand times, I will not be hurt kasi totoo naman. Pero eto: "Bumagsak ka sana" "Bakit ba kasi ayaw mong tumigil, kung hanggang dun nalang, hanggang dun nalang" iba yung impact. You are the first person to believe me, alam na alam ko yun kaya ngayon sobrang sakit.

Bukas, gigising ako na kunwari wala akong narinig. Gusto kong may sabihin, gusto kong ipaliwanag na mali ka but I'd rather do it. Hindi ako hanggang dito lang. Walang may gustong bumagsak. Mahirap bumangon at mag-umpisa ng paulit-ulit pero paulit-ulit ko ding pinipili para sayo, sa inyong lahat. Hindi lahat ng magandang bagay ay nakukuha agad-agad. Darating din yung panahon na maiintindihan mo ako. ✨

[world-of-e-nonymous]

1 year ago, I was the girl who feels like lovelife ang solusyon sa lahat. Pakiramdam ko may kulang sakin, may empty space na akala ko pagkakaroon ng boyfriend ang makakapagpuno. I had the crazy idea that having a lovelife will give you value as a person. Guess what, it was all wrong. 🙃

Hindi ako nagkaboyfriend pero nasampal ako ng realidad. Love is more than the kilig. Its about choosing to stay kapag nakita mo na kung gaano kagago ang isang tao. Love can either make us or break us. But it doesnt mean that a love that did not prosper is a waste of time. Its a learning experience to become better version of ourselves. Sa mga pinagsasabi ko na to, hindi pa talaga ako nagkaboyfriend HAHAHAHAHAHA. Whatever I'm saying right now is a combination of my experiences and also sa buhay ng mga kaibigan ko. Expound ko pa to kapag sinipag akong mag-organize ng thoughts.

Uhaw na uhaw akong magkajowa last year to the point na I lowered my standards and I did some crazy stuffs. I was so excited kaya tuwing may kakatok, laging welcome. Why am I writing this ba? I want to be reminded how devastating it was (well baby heartaches lang naman ang meron ako pero ayun nga it took away my confidence and value for myself). I was so marupok. Kaya siguro ako bumagsak sa board kasi tuwing tumatawag sya, binababa ko agad reviewers char. Patol pa sa mga drunk calls HAHAHAHA. Humanap din ng kalandian sa tinder para makalimot. But girl, mali yon! HAHAHAHA. Hindi majujustify ng isang pagkakamali ang isa pang pagkakamali. We have to endure the pain, walang shortcut sa pagpapagaling ng sugat.

So eto nga nga ang reflection ko. The more we search for love, the more na maliligaw tayo. It is a feeling that is not build overnight. Kapag minamadali, nagiging substandard. Let love find us (by the Grace of God syempre). Last year, ako yung tipo ng tao na ang prayer ay: "Lord ibigay mo na sakin si ****, kung hindi sya para sakin ako nalang bigay mo sa kanya." Pero ngayon my prayer is that may God prepare me to be the best version of myself na gusto kong makita sa partner na ilalaan nya sakin. Hinay-hinay nalang. Di baleng matagal basta maramdaman ko na kaya ko ng maghandle, magcommit at wag sumuko na piliin yung taong inilaan sakin without losing myself in the process. Sana habang hindi pa tayo handa pareho, maging productive yung waiting season natin. 🥺

[world-of-e-nonymous]

damn!!! balik nalang tayo sa 2019

[world-of-e-nonymous]

Maganda yung concept ng "uncoupling" its a series on iwant. Maganda in a sense na pinapakita nito yung evolution of how we see things. I did not expect the flow of the story. Its about breaking the norms. Ang hirap kasi kapag the society already set a standard na ganito o ganon dapat, nakahusga agad tayo without knowing how things happened and how things worked. Sana unti-unti mawala na yung pag-uugali na just because yun yung nakikita natin na typical, yun lang yung dapat, na yun lang yung akala natin na acceptable. It also made me realized kung gaano kahirap maging babae but then kahit gaano kahirap we need to be strong and courageous. So ayun lang hahaha gusto ko sana magshare ng mga insights na ganito at ng makakaexchange of ideas but I think the one I've been waiting for is somewhere listening to other stories pa. God is in control, I know that he is preparing us. See you soon!