Aoyama Nagisa's Life Until She Became a Voice Actress for Love Live! Superstar!!
Header image provided by Young Jump Weekly. Photography: Sato Yuichi
In her first ever essay, Aoyama Nagisa, a voice actress from the Love Live! Superstar!! franchise, details the path she has taken to get to where she currently is from the very beginning.
A photo from a ballet recital during early elementary school. Taking a closer look, you can see that my front teeth are missing since I was in the midst of growing adult teeth.
Aoyama Nagisa, known for her role as Hazuki Ren in Love Live! Superstar!!, is a voice actress with many young fans. Besides working as a voice actress, her work ranges from serving as the “Imadoki Girl” on the TV program Mesazhi Television to appearing in magazine gravure photoshoots with the tagline “Voice Actress Most Wanted as a Girlfriend”.
Even as she devoted most of her early years to ballet, she joined a band in middle school in blatant defiance of her teacher’s wishes. Today, we bring you an autobiographical essay detailing her unexpected route to becoming a voice actress for the Love Live! franchise.
A mother sends her daughter to ballet class upon seeing her dance to Love Machine
When people meet me for the first time, there’s a high probability that they’ll compliment me for my good posture. I spent thirteen years learning classical ballet, so it actually feels more natural for me to be sitting perfectly upright. In fact, it’s to the point where people constantly tell me to relax, that I don’t have to be so tense when talking to them.
Now that I think about it, I remember my teachers saying something like “There’s no need to be so nervous” almost every single time I attended a parent-teacher meeting. I wasn’t actually nervous at all, so I got accustomed to responding with, “This is just how I naturally sit”. It’s been eight years since I quit ballet in my first year of high school, so I’m really glad that I’m still being complimented for my posture.
I started ballet because of my mother. When I was two, she saw me singing and dancing to the rhythm of Love Machine by Morning Musume on the living room table. Apparently, that’s when it struck her that I might have a talent for dancing.
Apparently, she played music from all kinds of different genres to find out whether I had a good sense of rhythm and a natural affinity for dancing. When I learned about this incident, I could not help myself from thinking that parents can be quite scary… By the way, I have an older brother, but he’s terrible at dancing, so he didn’t pass my mother’s dance audition.
My mother also started dancing from a young age, though it was something other than ballet. But, she thought nothing could beat the expressiveness of an experienced ballet dancer, so she decided she’d make her daughter learn ballet if she gave birth to one.
Thankfully, I was the kind of girl to break out into song and dance every time I heard music playing, so I attended ballet school according to my mother’s wishes. The expressiveness I developed from my years of ballet still helps me in my work to this day, so I have nothing but gratitude towards her for introducing me to ballet.
In both elementary and middle school, I had to attend ballet classes right after class. The ballet school I attended was very strict, and some girls broke into tears while practicing. Obviously, we barely ever got praised for our performance there. Because of that, even now, I’m still not accustomed to receiving praise or hearing words that make me happy, so I tend to react rather unnaturally when it does happen.
A photo from my school's cultural festival during my third year of high school, in my club outfit together with my friends.
A transition from ballet to volleyball, which she hated
Because I grew up thinking that being in a tough environment was a given, I joined the girls volleyball club in high school, which was famous for being the toughest club there.
I knew several upperclassmen who ended up at the same high school, and when I told them that I’d be joining the volleyball club, every single one of them told me to reconsider. Not a single one of them told me it was a good idea, and that actually made me all the more curious to find out what kind of club it was.
I wanted to join the volleyball club precisely because I hated the sport! Receiving made my arms hurt and would sometimes even give me scabs, and volleyball was the one sport that I felt like I was bad at during gym classes, so I wanted to overcome that. I myself have no idea what I was thinking. Not even now.
That incomprehensible line of reasoning gave me the idea of joining the volleyball club, but there was actually another incident that cemented my decision.
On the day of my high school entrance exams, just as I was nervously walking towards the examination venue, a current student called out to me and asked, “Are you okay? Just nervous? Don’t worry, you’ll be fine!” It was as if a kind goddess had just spoken to me, which immediately filled my heart with warmth.
It turned out she was an upperclassman from the girls volleyball club, and she had been tasked with guiding candidates to their examination venues. The way she handled the situation was so incredible that it made me decide to join the volleyball club so I could become just like her.
Besides just playing volleyball, the girls volleyball club at my school was a club that expected its members to not fall behind on their studies while also proactively taking part in the school’s activities, such as organizing tours for potential students and patrolling the school during our cultural festivals. That was precisely why all of my upperclassmen told me without hesitation to quit the volleyball club if I wanted to enjoy my life in high school.
As I expected, it was really tough and there were indeed people who quit, but I felt like a tough environment like that actually suited me better.
Having loved singing from a young age, I went for karaoke sessions with my family.
Joining a band to spite her middle school teacher?!
This happened a little earlier, but during the new year break in my first year of middle school, I heard the song Kimishidai Ressha by ONE OK ROCK for the first time. That song got me completely hooked on rock music, and I joined my school’s rock band club as a guitarist and sub-vocalist.
I was still doing classical ballet at that time. Just imagine it. A middle-school girl in her school uniform, a guitar case on her back, and her hair up in a bun for ballet. Quite the sight, isn’t it?
I was also right in the midst of my rebellious phase back then. I was trying to recall what made me decide to join a band, and I happened to hear something interesting from one of my relatives. Apparently, I had even written about it in my graduation essay.
The middle school I went to was rather strict and strongly emphasized traditional values. I had a teacher there who didn’t have a good impression of band activities.
At that time, I was also the class president, so this teacher of mine constantly mentioned their high hopes for me and praised me for being an upstanding student. I started wondering why I was the only one being told that despite everyone else also doing their best. That incident made me feel very strongly about how my teachers really ought to treat every student fairly.
Of course, I was glad that they had high hopes for me, but as someone who has had a strong sense of justice ever since I was a child, I could never ignore what I perceived as injustice.
The very teacher who had high hopes for me mentioned something about how they thought a rock band wasn’t appropriate for the school’s image, which made me decide to join the band just to spite them. I decided that it was my duty to change their impression of the club, to show them that there was nothing wrong with it.
I even wrote about the incident in my graduation essay. Reading it now, it was so edgy that it’s actually quite funny. I’m really surprised that it got approved.
Although I do think it’s a good trait, every once in a while, my strong sense of justice would bring me into conflict with the people around me. For example, I never tolerated bullying, no matter the reason.
When I was in middle school, I became the target of a group of bullies after defending a friend from their bullying. Because of that, there was a period of time when I was so frustrated with the situation that I just curled up in bed crying, not wanting to go to school. But, because I knew full well that breaking into tears at school or in turn saying bad things about them was precisely what the bullies wanted me to do, I pretended to be fine no matter what they said to me.
Me when I was a child, feeling happy after eating ramen.
An unforgettable phrase from a friend that quit school because of bullying
Perhaps because my bullies got bored of me not reacting at all no matter what they said, they eventually stopped. Most of my classmates just pretended not to notice the situation, for fear of becoming their next target.
I can put up with it when people are giving me a hard time, but the one thing I cannot stay quiet about is when someone else is being given a hard time. When I see someone in need of help, I would confront the group of bullies alone, telling them to knock it off.
Around that time, a friend of mine, who always said “I’m fine” with a smile no matter how much she got bullied and how many unreasonable things happened to her at school, decided to quit suddenly. She told everyone around her that she was quitting because of something that was completely unrelated, but every once in a while, the sadness at not being able to do anything for her still gnaws at me.
What was on her mind when she said “thank you” to me, when I last met her? I will never forget the times when she forced a smile onto her face as she talked to me.
To write this essay, I asked my mother for stories from when I was younger. Apparently, a similar thing also happened in elementary school. I had a friend with a disability, which got them into conflict with my classmates quite often. Let’s just say that my other classmates did not take very kindly to them.
I don’t remember what I did back then, but apparently, my homeroom teacher told my mother something like “I’m very grateful to Nagisa-chan, who’s always on their side.”
Besides that, when I saw my grandfather blow up at my brother for not finishing his homework quickly enough, I went up to my grandfather and started hitting him, saying, “Don’t bully my older brother!” I was three at that time. By the way, I was the only person in the family ever to hit my grandfather like that. At that time, my grandfather was what you would call the supreme head of the family, so even all my relatives were speechless. They were like, “What on earth is this kid doing?”
Apparently, seeing what I did also emboldened my mother. “If even a three-year-old kid thought the situation didn’t make sense, I have to do something too. I need to get it together.”
Because of my personality, I’ve definitely had to spend a lot more effort than necessary to maintain my interpersonal relationships. But, because of my personality, I also naturally became surrounded only by people with kind hearts. I will forever pray for nothing but happiness for the people who truly care for me.
Image provided by Young Jump Weekly. Photography: Kuriyama Shusaku
Header image provided by Young Jump Weekly. Photography: Sato Yuichi
This is an essay penned by Aoyama Nagisa, best known for voicing Hazuki Ren from Love Live! Superstar!!. In the first half of her essay, she talked about spending most of her childhood learning ballet, and how she fought against bullying when she was a student. In this second half, she talks about the setback she faced after enrolling at a university with the goal of resolving problems in conflict zones, her beauty pageant days, and how she became a voice actress for the Love Live! franchise.
A selfie from when I was in university.
A privileged child’s encounter with reports of war
I was given the opportunity to attend classes for the things I liked from a young age, and was brought to visit any place I wanted to visit, so I am well aware that I grew up in a privileged environment.
Due to my father’s influence, I developed a habit of watching the news on NHK almost every day, ever since I was in elementary school. News about conflicts would particularly hurt me. I constantly thought about the people who were born into war, people who knew nothing but war. How would they live after the war eventually ended?
Watching news stories and documentaries about children who lost their parents and, because they are left without anyone to support them, fall into a life of crime made me wonder whether there was anything I could do for them. In middle school, I started thinking about working in a job that would help protect the human rights of the people in active conflict zones.
I then found out that the place to learn about the field was the Faculty of Policy Studies at Chuo University, so, in my third year of middle school, I decided that I’d work towards enrolling in Chuo University.
When I was in high school, I had the chance to read the book Disarmament is My Job by Seya Rumiko, which left a strong impact on me. The book made me realize that peace wasn’t a natural consequence of the end of the conflict and that the sadness and hatred of the people involuntarily involved in the conflict do not just vanish without a trace once the conflict ends. Collecting weapons from the populace to prevent a conflict from happening again, giving vocational training to former soldiers who knew only how to fight, and teaching them how to live, was a process known as “disarmament”.
I became convinced that this was what I wanted to do in life, so I started to research what I needed to learn in university to achieve my goal.
I found out about a political scientist, Prof. Mekata Motoko, who conducted lectures on international cooperation at the Faculty of Policy Studies at Chuo University. I came to the conclusion that if I managed to enter Chuo University, I’d definitely take her classes because it would lead me towards my goal. Before enrolling at Chuo University, I attended trial seminars conducted by Prof. Mekata, and the thought of joining her research group after enrolling and spreading my wings overseas filled my heart with anticipation.
After I managed to successfully enroll in the Department of Cross-Cultural Studies at the Faculty of Policy Studies, I immediately started searching for an upperclassman in Prof. Mekata’s research group to find out what I should do to join her research group. I went to see my upperclassman, eyes sparkling with anticipation for taking the first step towards my new life, with a face full of hope and a spring in my step. But, that was when I was told the shocking truth.
“Oh, apparently Prof. is going overseas next year, so her classes won’t be offered.”
What…? Indeed, that was the bell signaling the end of my life.
Me performing The Last Night of the World in the musical Miss Saigon during a university festival.
What kind of expression does one have on their face upon realizing that their hopes and dreams have shattered into pieces?
Students could join Prof. Mekata’s research group starting from their second year in university. But, just when I was supposed to start my second year, she’d be going overseas.
I was devastated. My future was pitch black. I enrolled at Chuo University because I wanted to join Prof. Mekata’s research group, but she wouldn’t be here?! You might wonder if something like that could really happen to a person, but it really happened to me. I had prepared myself to study hard in university and immediately head overseas to contribute to the field of vocational training after graduating, but my dreams were shattered the moment I stepped foot into university.
Though I wasn’t completely sure, I had heard that she’d only be away for a year. Some of my coursemates already mentioned that if Prof. Mekata would be returning after a year, they’d take a leave of absence for a year just so they could join her research group. What should I do? Taking a leave of absence… That would work… Right? But that’d trouble my parents. I decided to give up thinking about the research group. The moment my dreams vanished before my eyes was not one of sadness or disappointment, but one of determination.
Because of that single event, the direction of my life changed completely. I wanted to find something that I could completely immerse myself in during my days at university, so I decided to join the musical and acapella clubs without too much thought. I got into musicals after performing in The Sound of Music at the cultural festival during my last year in high school. That got me completely hooked, and during university, I’d sometimes watch a musical every week.
Also, when I was in high school, I frequently looked forward to singing, harmonizing, and playing the guitar together with my friends on the school roof. That made me think that the acapella club would be a good fit for me, and I decided to join.
I found that I enjoyed myself and derived a greater sense of satisfaction the more I improved in both activities. So, I practiced almost every day. I soon got accustomed to that pace of life and started wanting to aim even higher. However, in every club, there’s usually quite a distinct split between those who took club activities seriously and those who prioritized having fun. I was in the former group.
I knew that I couldn’t force anyone to come along with me given that it wasn’t their job to participate in club activities. So, to make it to the environment I desired to be in, I knew I had to take myself to an even higher level. That was when I decided to aim to become a professional.
Me wearing a wedding dress for the prize-giving ceremony of the beauty pageant I took part in.
Throwing the envelope containing job fair pamphlets her mother prepared at the door
When I was still learning ballet, I made it through the auditions for the well-known Tanimomoko Ballet Company and had the chance to perform at the Tokyo Bunka Kaikan.
It was my first time in such a large venue, with lights so bright that I could barely keep my eyes open, music performed by a live orchestra, and cheers and applause louder than I could ever imagine. That moment left such a strong impression on me that I still remember it vividly, even now. I could never forget how amazing the view from the stage looked, and I’m sure some part deep within me longed to return to the grandeur of the stage.
With my future path set, I decided to challenge myself to take part in a beauty pageant near the end of my second year of university. There’s a stereotype that beauty pageant participants all want to become news announcers, but I constantly emphasized my desire to become someone who sang and danced on stage for a living instead.
During the beauty pageant, I conducted livestreams at seven in the morning every single day of the week and put all my effort into maintaining my social media presence. It wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say that I spent all twenty-four hours of my days on it. In the end, I was crowned the runner-up. I didn’t manage to win the beauty pageant, but I was sure that the experience I gained there would definitely be useful for my future activities.
I knew that the path leading towards my goal would be full of challenges, but I continued doing my best even after the beauty pageant ended. Because I was treading on an uncertain path while all my friends were in the midst of job-hunting, my parents constantly fretted about my future.
One day, I found an envelope containing information about a job fair on the living room table when I got home. I thought that was of no use to me, so I threw it out without even taking a look. A few days later, my mother once again tried to offer me brochures for a different job fair, but I told her I didn’t need them, not even bothering to read them.
A few days after that, I found another similar envelope on my desk. When I saw that, I threw it at my door, saying, “I don’t need this!”. Why aren’t you supporting me, even though I’m taking this so seriously? Aren’t you supposed to be the ones who know that the best?
I was so frustrated that I broke into tears. I knew full well that my parents were just concerned and completely understood that they were suggesting that I take a different path because they didn’t want me to lead a difficult life. Even so, I didn’t want to give up and continued with my singing and dancing lessons with the determination to take hold of my dreams.
Messages I received from my relatives during the last day of Liella!'s first live tour. Next to me is my cousin, who is a huge Love Live! fan.
The first-ever Love Live! open auditions
Around that time, I received a message from my cousin that read, “Love Live! is having an open audition! Wanna go for it?”. My cousin is a big Love Live! fan, and thanks to her telling me things like, “Go watch the anime!”, “This song is super good so go listen!”, and “Yazawa-senpai is the best!!” I too became a Love Live! fan. A role in the Love Live! series would have everything I wanted to do: singing, dancing, and acting.
When I found out that Love Live! was holding its first-ever open audition, I immediately decided to apply. After making it through the many rounds, which included singing, dancing, acting, and self-introduction rounds, I somehow managed to make it through!
As the judges for the audition evaluated everything that I’d been through up till that point in time, I was almost crushed by uneasiness. But, I also found myself thankful that I managed to give everything I had. That was also the first time I fully acknowledged myself and the effort I put in. I was also relieved that I had finally managed to soothe the worries my parents had over my future career.
I debuted as the voice of Hazuki Ren in Love Live! Superstar!!, and have been given many opportunities to perform live as a member of the school idol group Liella!. Since starting my career as an artist and voice actress, I’ve also been offered new opportunities such as being involved in activities related to sweet potatoes, which I love, as well as recitation plays. It may not be much, but I believe that I’ve managed to achieve something worthy of note.
Perhaps because I finally managed to give them peace of mind, my parents now fully support my activities. When I get home, they watch the television shows I’ve appeared in over and over again, and listen to my new songs until late at night. Their actions make me realize just how much I’m loved, which really reassures me.
I’ll do my best to challenge myself to do all kinds of things so that my parents, who have always been there for me, can stay happy forever.
Image provided by Young Jump Weekly. Photography: Kuriyama Shusaku
Author: Aoyama Nagisa
Editor: Nishinaka Kenji
All photos were provided by the author herself
Aoyama Nagisa was born on May 16, 1998 in Tokyo Prefecture. She is 155 cm tall and graduated from Chuo University. Her hobbies include watching musicals and playing with little birds. Her specialty is classical ballet, and loves sweet potatoes. Currently, she voices Hazuki Ren in Love Live! Superstar!!. She's also currently serving as the “Imadoki Girl” on the TV program Mesazhi Television airing on Fuji TV, and holds regular livestreams on her Niconico Channel "Aoyama Nagisa no Katte ni IMO Kyoukai".
Nishinaka Kenji, a free writer, editor, and commentator, was born in 1978. Besides working as a news reporter and penning interviews, he is also in charge of editing gravure shots for weekly comic compilation magazines. His non-fiction book Hinatazaka46's Story, which follows the path taken by the idol group Hinatazaka46, is a hit that has sold more than 100,000 copies. He is also a contributor to the independent review magazine ARAZARU.
Translator: xIceArcher
Quality Check: Yujacha (@yujachachacha)