♡ GUSUQIN.
“mn,” a lucky person… he wanted to ask how could wuxian feel such a way and still have tossed his confession aside, lips pressed together. he wanted to reach out and touch wuxian, feel the warmth of his skin, run his fingers through disheveled locks of hair. always overwhelmed with affections for him, he had lost him time and time again, finally sent into the deepest pit of regret. he prayed for just another day, at least a glance at wuxian, anything. now, seated before him and still wangji could not reach out and interlock their hands, still he could not speak freely of the feelings that had tided him over for thirteen long years of mourning. but it was enough, he had the one more day he begged for, the glances he dreamed about.
“it was unwanted. not lucky, after all.” ( i was unwanted. )
in just an instant, the mischievous mask he adorned slipped from his face, crashing with such a palpable, thunderous shatter that stirred within him, replacing his smile with parted lips of near - astonishment. he had not expected such a response from lan wangji, a man who had almost everything, a man who was everything everyone aspired to be, in strength, in discipline, in temperament, even in looks. there was a softness to wuxian’s expression now, not one of pity, but perhaps empathy, sympathy. he began to reach for wangji, to place a hand of comfort upon his shoulder, but retracted, thinking ---- no, knowing ---- that it was not a gesture that would be welcomed, remembering how wangji hated touch.
“ what ? no way ! who would reject lan zhan ? you’re so good looking, and good at everything ! aren’t women at each other’s throats to vie for your attention ? how could it unwanted, i don’t understand. ” if only wei wuxian knew what he spoke of, if only his memory permitted.
