Rant
I have told you this before. I can't share and I won't share. This is fucked up and I know it. I said shit so she would stop hounding me about her and I. I need time to be me. I need time to find me and that's what I told her as well. Shit just came flying out. You and I both know I can't share and I wont. I have told her time after time I need to be me and she just pins me between a rock and a hard place. She is the one who talks to my mom and tells her what I do. I feel as though she is making it impossible for me to live. I'm not a victim and never will be. Her and I's relationship is unhealthy. But I need her to know I'm will to be friends. I want her off my back and to sit and figure shit out for herself. If she wants to leave then let her leave. My mind can't comprehended her immature tantrums any more. But she needs and friend and I will always be there. I want her too see that nothing is about her. I broke up with her because I feel abused and so unhappy. But I don't know how to say it. If her and i we're ment to be then it will happen. This isn't the time. I know it's not. She needs to get a little more mature and see if she can find someone who can take care of her better than I can. You heard what she said that day. Ever since then I have been crushed. I can't make her happy I am not the one she needs her life will never change because she won't let it. I'm tired and so exhausted for trying for a most 2 years to make sure she is happy. I can't do it.
