[11092008]

people are calling first years whiny and fussy when we complain against unjust treatment and i can't help but feel sorry for them because everyone can tell they're projecting since they didn't have a choice (or just didn't have the guts) to call out unjust treatment from THEIR seniors and had to go through with whatever it is they made them do. just because you sat through it obediently doesn't mean we have to sit still and cooperate with a system that inconveniences us. they hate us because we don't tolerate being taken advantage of and refuse to accept work beyond what's expected of us???

[11092008]

i've only now found out that angel devil is deceased because fujimoto found out his editor and other people generally liked him more than kobeni so he decided to kill him offscreen for giggles and announce it in an interview

[11092008]

i find it amusing that angel devil from chainsawman and medea by euripedes share several similarities. in this context, makima would be the (somewhat but not really) equivalent of aphrodite. i know it's such a reach but hear me out

makima controlled angel and had him kill his loved ones, aphrodite made medea fall in love with jason without giving her any say in the matter and it became really intense to the point that she betrayed her homeland and killed her brother. plus they both are (were?) depressed and suicidal

[11092008]

(the handmaiden 2016 spoilers below)

oh my gosh i just finished the handmaiden and i need everyone to understand that we are being told this story how hideko would read those eroticas to the perverted men. not sure if it's intentional, but even after hideko managed to escape her life as an entertainer for men, an audience (us, the ones watching the movie) remains to intrude on her intimacy with sookhee

[11092008]

finally got around to watching the lesbian gaze by verilybitchie and she basically worded my handmaiden review better. in the end, we become the spectators, they're never truly free.

ALSO just learnt that the movie is adapted from fingersmith by sarah waters and pcw left out a lot of important details regarding the plot (which, disappointingly, isn't really uncommon in movie adaptations). verily also compared pcw's work with aisling walsh's 2005 fingersmith and how they each portrayed intimacy was pretty... distinguishable.

if anything the essay only convinced me more that intimacy in film shouldn't only be shown or achieved through sex. give me tension, give me longing looks. i'm talking wong kar wai's in the mood for love and miyazaki's princess mononoke

[11092008]

really wanna grow out my bangs but i panicked before picking up my almamater suit yesterday and and cut them AGAIN just under my eyebrows. i'm being for real this time i'm growing them out

[11092008]

so my arms are aching. i spent all day assembling a drawer and a utility cart and organizing my items to their respective places and it's only convinced me more that i NEED to buy pain relief patches soon

[11092008]

just got to my indekost and i legitimately can't get sad because i'm EXHAUSTED. i left home around 9 am and arrived at 9 pm. 12 hours of transportation. then i ate (i was running on an empty stomach prior) before cleaning my room and mopping the floors. lots of chores i haven't done but i'll do it tomorrow whatever.....

[11092008]

i've been going out with my friends at my hometown for two consecutive days just hanging out and coming home midnight because i'm leaving for uni tomorrow :(

[11092008]

i just realized maybe the reason why i get so exhausted whenever i socialize is because i'm really sensitive to other people's changes in tone and body language since i watch out for social cues all the time and i would adjust my demeanor and shift the conversation to lighten up their mood and i've been training myself to do this since i was little because whenever my mom gets in a bad mood she'd give me the silent treatment all the while expecting little me to understand her wants and needs based on passive aggressive nonverbal cues which, if i inquire further, would get me in more trouble. she won't admit to this but it's stuck with me for better and for worse

[11092008]

some people genuinely believe we're here to marry and reproduce and die. sometimes i wonder why they get so upset and agitated whenever i say i don't want to marry or have children. it doesn't affect them in any way. plus their arguments are either 'it's God's will' or 'who's going to take care of you when you're older?' which amuses me, because really, neither is any of their business. my relationship with God is very personal and why should it matter to them if no one will take care of ME when i'm older? i know most of the time it's likely that they're merely envious because not marrying and not having children had never been a choice for them to make, but i still find it silly that they think they have the right to meddle in my business and that it's necessary that i listen to them

[11092008]

i need a good tagging system for my ao3 bookmarks i just think i haven't clicked with any organization system yet

[11092008]

only three more days until i move out for real and suddenly i'm REALLY nervous..... i feel sick to my stomach

[weltenwellen]

For years I lived Maggie Smith

[11092008]

since summer's in full swing and the heat's getting to me i decided to pick up a summer read from ao3 since i've been reading a looooot of fanfiction!!! read buried treasure by starmapz and i think that's exactly how i'd describe this fic: a buried treasure :) it was so cute?? gojo was the perfect balance of annoying and sweet

[11092008]

need more books with EXACTLY the same vibe as carley fortune's one golden summer. i should probably read the first book in the duology but eh

[11092008]

i'm gonna sleep it off because i need to wake up early tomorrow but i believe in miracles. watch spain win 1-0

[11092008]

called it

[11092008]

i'm gonna sleep it off because i need to wake up early tomorrow but i believe in miracles. watch spain win 1-0