Another Depressed 20 Something

A grounds for me to share my thoughts, Without risk of actually facing my fears.

[1312410]

A familiar evil

None asked me to be.

- 13.

[1312410]

Drifting somewhere between

Ruining my life

And wasting it.

- 13.

[1312410]

We live in yesterday's tomorrow.

- 13.

[1312410]

If ignorance is bliss,

Then bliss is ignorance.

- 13.

[1312410]

Next to silence,

Lit under the stars and moon,

The sound of embers making subtle cracks

Blends with the harmony of crickets sitting alongside us.

- 13.

[1312410]

I rush home to you

With the deepest, intrinsic need to be with you.

Across exit signs and speed postings

I gaze into your eyes,

Those infinite pools of rolling hills dappled with life.

I can't help but surge towards you.

-13.

[1312410]

My future was too bright,

So that to fix my eyes upon it would blind me,

To reach my hand to seize it would burn me.

But now the fire has died,

The light has dimmed

And now I can see that the luminosity of my future

Has faded into the shadows of my past.

- 13.

[1312410]

I remember learning about slaves in school.

I remember wondering how anyone could allow themselves to be shackled.

How anyone belonging to a majority could be abused by a minority.

How anyone couldn't escape their cell.

But now I have learned about slaves in the world.

Now I have seen how we are stripped of choice.

How we in the majority can be split and fractured.

How beyond our cell is a larger cell, and a larger cell beyond it still, in inescapable infinity.

- 13.

[1312410]

Life wasn't always good to me

But life was always good.

Life isn't always important to me

But life is always important.

Life won't always be kind to me

But life will always be kind.

- 13.

[1312410]

Anchored to my past by my memory,

So that the further I rise above it

The greater it strains my mind until finally

The chain snaps

And I am lost at sea.

- 13.

[1312410]

I'm trying and trying

The same things over and over

Fail again and again

Getting older and older.

- 13.

[1312410]

I have an immovable sadness.

I have become so bitter of our world, the decadent capitalist nightmare we slipped into. I sometimes think about taking medication, but ultimately the feelings I'm having are justified, and my issue isn't with feeling sad, my issue is with the world that forces depression on itself.

Talking helps very little, as the ideas and feelings are firm, yet speaking on them only stirs up feelings of suppressed rage and agony. Exploitive capitalism is so ingrained in our everyday life that we cannot escape it, barring revolution on a global scale. Meaning to say that we will likely extinguish ourselves before we see the death of the system that is strangling us. It's so frustrating to participate in something I don't want to be a part of, to contribute to something I don't support.

There is so much wrong.

-13

[1312410]

Every fire dies,

Every ember extinguished.

I will close my eyes,

And the flame is relinquished.

- 13.

[1312410]

I spent my last two dollars

Putting air in my tire

So I could make it to work

And in doing so

I resign all notions of an independent life.

- 13.

[1312410]

You never learned me.

Only learned about me.

As a grade schooler learns about rocketry,

You never understood me.

Only understood about me.

- 13.

[1312410]

I saw red in its brilliant crimson

And thought I had known colour,

Blind to the prismatic spectrum of beauty that rested one shade away.

I had heard a minor note

And felt I had known symphony,

Deaf to the scales of divinity that lay one chord apart.

And I had tried giving my heart to another

Thinking I had known love.

But I was agonizingly unaware of the implacable wonder that waited just one kiss away.

- 13.

[1312410]

WASDed my life away.

Four directions and yet I am entirely unmoving.

- 13.