The 20SUMthing Blogger

[20sumthing-blog]

No matter the situation if your evicting someone your always the bad guy.  Doesnt matter if they owe you money, doesnt matter how much.  Everything will be viewed as a misunderstanding and your the harsh son of a bitch who didnt hear the tenant out or give them another chance or whatever.  Not by the court mind you, just by the tenant  Best advice I can give on this is get use to it.  If a tenant is willing to lie to you once, theyll do it again. If their willing to not pay rent once  theyll do it again.  You have to look out for your best interest and not sweat the small stuff.  Because no matter what, if a tenant is unhappy its your fault, even if its obviously theirs and your doing them a favor.  Your still the asshole.  So dont let it bother you.  Dont engage in the argument.  Remember.  The lion doesnt concern himself with the opinion of lambs.

[20sumthing-blog]

Its all fun and games until someone gets locked the fuck out

This past week I had to lock a tenant out.  She has been a serious pain in my ass for a few years now, but she always paid her rent.  Lately thats not the case.  First she started with the late rent, then with the partial payments.  Thats when I knew it was time to amputate.  

   The sherrifs knocking on the door and he gives me permission to take down the front door with a sledge hammer.  FUCK YEAH!  although this totally fucks up the door its still the most gratifying way to reclaim possesion of an investment property that youve lost to dead beat tenants.  And you absolutely have to scream “Heres Johnny” when the door caves.

Every tenant becomes the victim as soon as the sheriff is there. Until then, they would blow me off, lie straight to my face, they acted like they were doing me a favor by paying their rent.  Now that the sheriffs there  the game is over.

[20sumthing-blog]

When Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi studied geniuses for his book Creativity, he realized something fascinating about IQ. No one who changed the world had an IQ under 130 — but the difference between 130 and 170 was negligible. As long as you were past the 130 IQ threshold, it was all about how hard you worked.

[20sumthing-blog]

50 Free Things to Do in NYC for Summer 2014 - May 27, 2014 - NewYork.com

Life is just way to interesting to be boring.  Heres a bunch of free things to do in NYC from museums to shows to kayaking to festivals.  Not at all related to real estate but Anyone who knows me knows I dont care about real estate, its about the freedom to take off on a Tuesday and go do stuff like this.  Enjoy

[20sumthing-blog]

Wide diversification is only required when investors do not understand what they are doing.

-Warren Buffet

[20sumthing-blog]

Diversification is for people who don’t know what their doing

All I hear from the investing world and from any and all brokers I know is that diversification is the best way to ensure that your money remain safe.  That’s fucking stupid.  Plain and simple.  If something works then keep doing it.  If I can get a 25% return on real estate then why would I ever buy into a mutual fund?  The only reason that you should diversify is if you really don’t know what your doing.  I buy real estate because I understand how it works, I know the ins, the outs, and everything in between.  I can control it and make changes as I see fit.  That’s how Im able to produce such a high return.  I would never invest in stocks anything that I wasn’t willing to invest in blackjack.  Because the “experts”  Don’t even know whats going to happen. Their just guessing and hoping for the best.  The only thing that they really understand is their commission structure.

[20sumthing-blog]

Big decisions....

Alright time to make a big decision.

Do I smoke a cigar in the middle of the afternoon...or go pick out some new fish.  Landlord problems lol

[20sumthing-blog]

Not all people are jerks :-)

I have a tenant who through multiple broken arrangements and some late fees has come to owe me a bunch of money.  I spoke to him a month ago and he begged me for 30 days so that he could get the money together.  He was going to put a considerable chunk down then begin making monthly payments.  So I filed for eviction.  Within two weeks he got the notice to appear in court and he knew I wasn’t fucking around. As soon as he got it he called me to  schedule the meeting.  This morning, right around 2pm, He came into my office.  And low and fuckin behold, he came with cash in hand. This doesn’t happen all the time when you’re a 20 Sumthing landlord but every once in a while people realize that your doing them a fuckin favor.   He was so grateful  that I was able to work out a payment plan with him.  A weekly payment plan at that.  And based on a new strategy  I might be able to avoid even going to court if he fucks up.  Well see on this one,  I have high hopes :-)

[20sumthing-blog]

[20sumthing-blog]

Go sell crazy someplace else... Were all stocked up here

-Jack Nicholson

[20sumthing-blog]

Because psychos are magnetically attracted to me

Hey remember Raggedy McDonald?  Well shes back again.  After she lost her house to foreclosure… then lost a free and clear house to tax foreclosure, but before she makes millions on her “brush on a stick” idea, she needs an apartment.  Let me illustrate this  This fuckin lunatic thinks that I will rent an apartment to her, even though I know that she somehow lost a fully rented 3 family house…. That didn’t even have a mortgage.  I feel like this story should be in the news, that’s how fuckin hard it is to loose a house WHEN YOU DON’T OWE ANYTHING ON IT….  AND her only real income is SSI which is less money then her rent would be.  So this psycho thinks im going to rent to her based on the promise of Brush on a stick money.  So Im gonna tell her yes.  As long as she pays 12 months rent in advance.  Lets see how this once plays out

[20sumthing-blog]

[20sumthing-blog]

Most people are jerks

2 Family in Newark area.  I have a serious problem tenant,  He pays rent and that hasn’t been an issue since I dragged his sorry ass to eviction court.  Hes one of the few tenants who actually showed up to court with all of his back rent in cash.  Hes on the first floor and is having a plumbing issue that was coming from the floor above him.  I had a plumber out there yesterday who fixed the leak and said that in a week he could replace the line and everything would be good as new.  For now it was just a patch job.  This son of a bitch called me 3 times today to tell me that theres raw sewage pouring into his bathroom.  Naturally I called the plumber and told him about the situation.  Then called his wife.  Apparently there is no leak.  Everything held up like the plumber said it would.  He’s just a pain in the ass tenant and wants to be dramatic.  All I can think now, is it would really be a shame if those parts were backordered J

[20sumthing-blog]

A bad situation rarely gets better on its own

Remember the seller who didn’t want me to see the house because it kinda sorta burnt to the ground the night beforehand? She finally made it in to see me today. Turns out, we’ve met before. We met about 4 or 5 years ago when she was loosing her primary residence. She told me that she was getting a paten and she would be rich forever…. Well here we are 5 years later and this fucktard not only lost her house, but is in the process of losing her mothers house now. She drop 15k on a paten and prototype program and now is trying to sue someone who came up with the “Brush on a stick” idea before she did. Oh and on a side note, she also now looks like Ronald Mcdonald had a love child with Raggedy Ann and pelted it with chicken nuggets until she developed a stutter

[20sumthing-blog]

The importance of a poker face

Normally I love throwing a deadbeat tenant out of my rental property.  They agreed to pay and they fuckin lied so this is the repercussion.  Its time to meet the reaper.  Friday I had to lock someone out and I didn’t want to write about it until I had some time to think.  This was different from the usual lockouts.  The deadbeat wasn’t there at all.  Just his wife and two kids.  This scumbag didn’t even tell them about the eviction (so they claim).  It was a sad sight.  And this is when its most important to be non emotional.  Even if your crying on this inside, you need a stone cold poker face for this.  The bank doesn’t care that they have problems, your investors don’t care that they have problems.  So you cant either.  You need to collect the rent.  That’s the whole point of having rental properties.  To MAKE MONEY.  If your not then your hurting yourself and everyone else who trusts in you.  Don’t let it happen!

  However I will say his wife was fuckin hilarious.  She was screaming at the sheriff.  “Youll have to arrest me!”  the Sheriff responded with “Your wish is granted!”

[20sumthing-blog]

Stickey bandits!

Some tenants will always be time thieves.  My best advice if you’re a landlord is to never answer there calls.  Put everything in writing, and only use text messages.  No problem is ever to small.  Leaky faucet call the landlord, toilets clocked call the landlord, Contractor wont give an estimate because tenant wont let them in the house…. Call the landlord.  This week ive been dealing with an issue in one of my houses.  The tenants straight up fuckin destroyed my house.  Calls me to complain all the time, but wont let the contractor in to fix the problem.  This tenant kept me on the phone for 10 mins just complaining, she literally stole ten mins of my life for absolutely no reason.   I finally just gave her the contractors number and told her not to call me until the work was finished.  Oh and by the way… your rents due

[20sumthing-blog]

First week of the month

First week of the month is usually crazy when your a landlord.  Not for me, not this month at least.  Im taking it easy.  Its summer is beautiful out.  So instead of chasing tenants down all weekend im picking up some rent then heading to Ocean city MD for some fun and crab cakes.  Def the perks of being a 20Sumthing landlord :-)