3 Am And Your Not Here

For the broken hearted

[3amnights-blog1]

When it’s 3 am in your room do you ever think about me

When your in a mall do you ever look for my face

When your walking home do you ever think about me

When our song comes on do you change the station

When your parents ask about me do you lie

Do you even miss me half as bad as I miss you?

~r.m.e.s

[3amnights-blog1]

It’s been a year.

A year since you tore me apart

Again

I can’t relate to my friends

I don’t missed being loved

I miss you

I miss being goofy

I miss your funny comments

I miss you kissing my hand

I miss you pulling me close

I miss our conversations that were only for us to hear

I miss every piece of you

I don’t want anyone new

Because I miss you

~r.m.e.s

[buttonpoetry]

“I love you, but I can’t keep letting you show up where I am and remind me of what I said to you all those times I was drunk that one time.”

— Neil Hilborn, “Ballad of the Bruised Lung”

[3amnights-blog1]

20 hours is not enough

I want more of you

More of your presence

Next to me

More of you

More of this

More of what I think could be forever

We we only have 20 hours

Then you catch your flight

And I pretend to not miss you

I want more

~r.m.e.s

[3amnights-blog1]

“This hurts This is death This is what I was afraid of 3 am and you asleep And I wake up from crying I love you Do you? I love you Then why did you leave I love you Then why did I make you unhappy You make me unhappy Then why do you text me Do you like the pain it afflicts on me But it clearly doesn’t matter Cause it’s 3 am And your sleeping And there’s nothing I can do to change the way your feeling changed”

— ~rmes

[3amnights-blog1]

Been almost a year

And I though that my feeling would be gone

And some days they are

I can kiss someone and not think about you

I can go out and not look for your face

I can have something good happen and not want to tell you

But then there are days

Where I’m out with friends

And you pop into my mind

Then I am wrecked

I sit outside you house listening to our song

I dream about you

I want you with me

But you don’t want me

If you did you would put an effort in

If you did you would care for me

If you did you would text me

So maybe the tears that you made me cry can cure me

Can remind me that you are not good

Can help me

So the days I’m drowning in the thought of you

The tears can be the current that pulls me to the surface of the water and I can breathe with out you

But it’s harder then it looks

Because the truth is I do still love you

But I can’t do anything about that

So I need to be okay with me

~r.m.e.s

[3amnights-blog1]

How 13 reasons why helped me

I’m seeing a lot of people posting about how you shouldn’t watch 13 reasons because it’s triggering and that some things shouldn’t be in it because it can cause more harm then good. As some one who has taken 126 pills and has balled her eyes out holding a rope and staring at the pillars in the basement ceiling. Who has visited a mental ward 3 times and has seen numerous counsellors and has been on medication this is how the show helped me

1. It shows that I’m finally not alone in having these feelings

2. Not all counsellor are helpful but they do care

3. Some one cares even if they can’t say it or won’t say it some one does

4. If people watch the show they might watch their actions and words next time

5. People will miss you

6. If your assaulted sexually it’s not something to be embarrassed about sadly it happens more then it should

7. Most times (not always sadly) your parents do care, more then you think.

8. Suicide is a thing and we shouldn’t be embarrassed to reach out if we feel that way

9. Be kind. You don’t know what demons others are fighting

10. They made feeling nothing sound less insane then it feels

Unfortunately some people are more triggered then others and if this is the case 13 reasons might not be suitable for you. Unfortunately I still feel like I need to post this anonymously so people don’t think I’m doing it for “attention” but I think people should watch this. For me it helped. I think the things they deal with should be brought to light. If your feeling this way don’t stop, get help even if the first time doesn’t work try again.

[wonting]

[3amnights-blog1]

You stand there

You say you aren’t ready

Then you kiss me

Then I think you want me

Maybe your ready

Maybe I just need to hold on

I know deep down this isn’t how I’m supposed to feel

I know that I’m supposed to be loved

Not half loved

Not half used

You confused me

Confused me thinking you needed me

Confused because I wasn’t the only one

Then I realize I’m stronger then this

Then I realize I didn’t spend 9 months building myself back up

For you to ruin everything I built

For you to ruin the person who is almost over you

So I say goodbye

I leave the situation

I walk away

And that’s when you

You reach out because I’m no longer your puppet

You ask about me

You say I confused you

The thing about confusion is

I can be confused about you

You the person I once loved is using me

I can be confused

However you can’t

You used me and I decided no more

Nothing about that is confusing

Me standing up for myself

Is not confusing

It was what was coming

~r.m.e.s

[3amnights-blog1]

The relapse came all to easy

You were standing in front of me

Like a perfect vision

The person I used to know

And love so easily

But you

This person isn’t the same person

Because this person is hurting me

And the person

The person I first met

would never want to hurt me

But you are

So I’m leaving

And I’m not sorry

I can’t be sorry

For protecting the only person

The only person

who was there when you were not

Myself

~r.m.e.s

[3amnights-blog1]

How 13 reasons why helped me

I’m seeing a lot of people posting about how you shouldn’t watch 13 reasons because it’s triggering and that some things shouldn’t be in it because it can cause more harm then good. As some one who has taken 126 pills and has balled her eyes out holding a rope and staring at the pillars in the basement ceiling. Who has visited a mental ward 3 times and has seen numerous counsellors and has been on medication this is how the show helped me

1. It shows that I’m finally not alone in having these feelings

2. Not all counsellor are helpful but they do care

3. Some one cares even if they can’t say it or won’t say it some one does

4. If people watch the show they might watch their actions and words next time

5. People will miss you

6. If your assaulted sexually it’s not something to be embarrassed about sadly it happens more then it should

7. Most times (not always sadly) your parents do care, more then you think.

8. Suicide is a thing and we shouldn’t be embarrassed to reach out if we feel that way

9. Be kind. You don’t know what demons others are fighting

10. They made feeling nothing sound less insane then it feels

Unfortunately some people are more triggered then others and if this is the case 13 reasons might not be suitable for you. Unfortunately I still feel like I need to post this anonymously so people don’t think I’m doing it for “attention” but I think people should watch this. For me it helped. I think the things they deal with should be brought to light. If your feeling this way don’t stop, get help even if the first time doesn’t work try again.

[3amnights-blog1]

Its taken me 5 months

5 months to know

I am enough

I am worth something

I am not nothing

Even with out you

I am me

And that is enough

~r.m.e.s

[3amnights-blog1]

I finally don't regret you

I don't regret the person you made me

I want to think you actually

You gave me confidence

Some how in breaking me

You made me believe in me

I no longer want to go back to the girl I was before you

I am now a women

I am now comfortable in my own skin

I am now okay being me

And now I know that I got to comfortable with being me for you

I grew out of you

-I will not shrink for your convenience

~r.m.e.s

[3amnights-blog1]

You no longer have the power to hurt me and I now feel okay

-im back

~r.m.e.s

[3amnights-blog1]

Even though I couldn't be your everything

I hope she can be

Not because I want you to be happy

But because

I know the emotional damage you leave

The train wreck that follows when you walk out

I know that it's not her fault

I don't want her to be broken

I don't want to her to feel what you did to me

I hope she can be your everything for her sake Because I'm not sure if she's as strong as I am

-you leave people ubfaitly

~r.m.e.s

[3amnights-blog1]

It's been four months.

Four months since you tore me apart

You think id be over you

You think that I would feel clean from you

Youd think id be breathing again

And yet I'm still thinking

Remembering It's not as bad as it once was

It comes in waves now

But when the wave comes

It's not just a wave

It's a tycoon along with a tropical storm

And it leaves me after with hurt and devastation

Devastation that you don't even need to help clean up

Cause it's been four months since you tore me apart

~r.m.e.s

[teneedwards]

Never regret being a good woman to the wrong man; his loss.

Unknown

https://www.instagram.com/teneedwards

(via teneedwards)