Haunting and deeply chilling from Lydia Davis.
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
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@42crowsinatrenchcoat
Haunting and deeply chilling from Lydia Davis.
I had a dream that the king and the queen of a small country had a daughter. They needed a son, a first-born son, so in secret, without telling anyone of their child’s gender, they travelled to the nearby woods that were rumoured to house a witch.
They made a deal with that witch. They wanted a son, and they got one. A son, one made out of clay and wood, flexible enough to grow but sturdy enough to withstand its destined path, enchanted to look like a human child. The witch asked for only one thing, and that was for their daughter.
They left the girl readily.
The witch raised her as her own, and called her Thyme. The princess grew up unknowing of her heritage, grew up calling the witch Mama, and the witch did her very best to earn that title.
She was taught magic, and how to forage in the woods, how to build sturdy wooden structures and how to make the most delicious stews. The girl had a good life, and the witch was pleased.
The girl grew into a woman, and learned more and more powerful magics, grew stronger from hauling wood and stones and animals to cook, grew smarter as the witch taught her more.
She learned to deal with the people in the villages nearby, learned how to brew remedies and medicines and how to treat illness and injury, and learned how to tell when someone was lying.
Every time the pair went into town, the people would remark at just how similar Thyme was to her mother.
(Thyme does not know who and what she is. She does not know that she was born a princess, that she was sold. She only knows that one night after her mother read her a story about princesses and dragons, her mother had asked her if she ever wanted to be a princess.)
((Thyme only knows that she very quickly answered no. She likes being a witch, thank you very much, she likes the power that comes with it and the way that she can look at things and know their true nature.))
The witch starts preparing the ritual early, starts collecting the necessities in the winter so they can be ready by the fall equinox. Her daughter helps, and does not ask what this is for, just knows that it is important.
The witch looks at Thyme, both their hands raised into the air over a complicated array of plants, tended carefully to grow into a circle, and says, sorry.
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Being a kid was so fucking funny we’d just go around lying to each other’s faces constantly to impress each other one of my classmates told me he was the first person to visit the sun and when I asked him what it was like to prove he was lying he said he didn’t remember because they sent him there when he was just a baby and to this day the mental image of NASA launching an unsupervised baby into the sun still makes me crack up
I’m in love with the great British bake off
This is my personal favorite(so far)
I must start watching this.
please do not force an lgbt label onto anne frank. she died before she had the chance to explore her sexuality and if you need to think of her as lgbt to have empathy for her you need to reconsider how you think of holocaust victims. please do not vilify her father, a man who lost his entire family in the holocaust, for censoring the parts in anne’s diary where she expresses attraction for women. it was 1947. jewish girls were already seen as hypersexual. he was protecting her legacy as best he could, and you have no right to call him a villain for wanting what was period-typical best for his late daughter.
Non-Jews, please read and reblog.
The reason Nazis, white supremacists, and other far-right groups have to resort to revisionism (often including the appropriation of pagan symbols, myths, and practices) to provide “historical support” for their ideals is because those ideals have no actual ancient counterparts. Fascism is a product of the modern era. There were no fascists in the ancient world, and there has never been a religion that genuinely supported fascist values.
For the most part, humans have always cared about each other. We have always had a strong sense of community, and we have always been willing to go out of our way to help other people. These are fundamental parts of human nature, and they are reflected in our religions. They are also, incidentally, totally incompatible with a fascist worldview, because fascism goes against human nature.
Fascists want you to believe that fascism is in your best interest. They want you to believe that the world is inherently cruel, that people have always been at each others’ throats, and that hatred is natural – because if you don’t believe these things, then fascism is of no use to you. They know that the easiest way to convince you to adopt fascist values is to infiltrate your religious community, to convince you that fascism is what the gods intend for us. To do that, they have to make you believe that your religion is inherently fascist – even though we know, based on copious written and archaeological evidence, that this is not true.
This is how we get Nazi revisions of Norse myths. This is how we get domestic terrorists storming government buildings while wearing Norse iconography. This is how we get the image in pop culture of the white, blond, blue-eyed, hyper-masculine Viking, a figure that did not exist in actual Old Norse society.
This isn’t just me talking out of my ass. This isn’t speculation. This is a documented tactic used by fascists to give their movements the appearance of legitimacy. Nazi Germany is largely responsible for our modern idea of the Vikings as a hyper-masculine, hyper-militant group of white dudes. Fascist Italy is a large part of why Ancient Rome is remembered for their military might rather than for their incredible infrastructure or their populist government. (Even the word “fascism” comes from an appropriation of Roman political symbols.) Irish American white nationalists are responsible for perpetuating the “Irish slave” myth (which is used to devalue the impact of the transatlantic slave trade and its effect on Black people), and for the popularity of Irish and Celtic symbols among modern fascists.
What all of these fascist revisionist histories have in common is that they are almost entirely baseless and have little-to-no connection to any genuine historic sources. There is no evidence for them beyond “because I say so” arguments from fascist authors. These histories are false, and their falsehood is very easily provable. The ONLY reason they are as widely accepted as they are is because fascist sources are very good at being louder and more aggressive than legitimate, objective historians.
If we want to reclaim paganism from fascists, the first step MUST be to set the historical record straight. Read good sources. Share resources with your community. Correct people who are unknowingly spreading fascist propaganda. Tell people who the ancient pagans really were, and what they really stood for.
Fascism is a weed. It is an invasive species that has forced its way into our religious spaces and is choking out the warm, loving communities the gods intended for us. Pull it up, burn the roots, salt the earth if you have to – if it is left unchecked, it will kill every other interpretation of our myths, until the truth is forever lost to the void.
pls don’t let this flop
doofenshmirtz’s mental process i think
Mans was literally so respectful he never assumed every turquoise platypus he met wasn't automatically going to be the one and only turquoise platypus he's ever met 😂😂😂
I think it’s very sweet that Perry the Platypus recognized that the poor dude is effectively platypus-face-blind (and possibly colour-blind as well), cannot tell if a random platypus is or is not Perry, and is never going to assume in case it is a different platypus because that would be RUDE - and therefore carefully puts on his hat every time, so Doofenshmirtz knows who he’s talking to.
That is some prime Politeness-Between-Nemeses right there.
To be fair, the tri state area apparently has a LOT of platypuses.
Every time you guys make those cute jokey joke posts about how you have to scroll forever to get to the real recipe, I die a little inside
We live in a world that all but refuses to pay women for engaging in the arts because misogyny. So they either find one creative outlet, or find a way to monetize their art, and yalls internalized misogyny really Jumps Out
LMAO
when youre an upper middle class white woman but you want to be oppressed really bad so you Go Off on twitter at people skipping your 3 page rants that theyre obligated to read (and enjoy) bc you performed the emotional labor of having a recipe blog
Im going to lose my goddamn mind
It’s the burning rage inside me that gives me that luminous glow (:
what if we were sitting in a field and i plucked some grass and put it on your knee. what then?
made your favorite babe. skyrim dinner
People who I think killed Prince Phillip
Hatsune Miku
The penguins from Madagascar
The down with the cis bus
Someone playing the call me by your name music video
Christopher Eccleston finally snapped and did it
John Mulaney
So funny story actually. One of my friends was hooking up with this girl, they were friends with benefits. She needed a date for some work party so he agreed to go with her. Turns out her dad owns like 3 dental practices and she worked as the business manager for one of them.
Anyway my friend had some not so nice teeth and during dinner the father of his fwb was like “you work where you work, you sleep with him and his teeth look like that? Get him an appointment.”and then bounced. So his fwb made him an appointment at the practice she managed and my friend ended up needing like 3k worth of dental work and his friend with benefits just gave it to him for free.
So that is the story of how my friend not only got sex, but dental out of the friends with benefits deal.
🔮 like to charge 🔮
🔥 reblog to cast 🔥
🌎 for good news on earth day 🌍
you know how most of the things humans use as spices are poisonous or repellent to most other mammals? and you know how anything vaguely d&d inspired has dwarves being way more poison resistant than even humans?
dwarf cuisine shouldn’t be bland, it should be unimaginably spicy and potentially harmful or fatal to humans. like green potato and rhubarb leaf salad with a festive garnish of yew berries and deadly nightshade berries, that kind of thing.
Concept: humans think it’s bland cuz rather than memorizing what kills humans it’s safer to just pass on the spices.
#‘should we add salt? everyone eats salt right?’#‘no that’s a rock there’s no way humans eat rocks