"Stop, listen, and learn." @4lex4nder - Tumblr Blog

Tonight I acted like I was more intoxicated than I actually was, I was rather quite sober in fact. I just couldn't get over how I felt. How I felt-- i am the worst boyfriend.

I feel like you aren't really happy

Being in the real world is tough. The past two days I have began to really understand how your happiness is the one thing you should pursue in life. It's not about money; all money does is pay the bills and shit like that. You could have all the money in the world and not be happy. So, chase what makes you happy. I am glad I have applied to grad school, even if it was like pulling teeth for me, because it will make me happy in the long run. It will bring a job with security, but then also allow me to be in a place where my person is too. Which, to me, is the happiest place on earth.

What's going on? Idk. Idk how to express my feelings right now. I want you, but I feel like I hurt you to a point where we can't be ourselves anymore. It saddens me. I want to be back to normal. I just wish I could take that one statement back. 😞

I feel like the biggest fuck up. I've always had the hardest time forgiving myself. Damn it.

Wow you never post anymore. Rude.

Hi Lauren.

Maybe it's just me. Maybe I shouldn't be so clingy.

I just keep getting this feeling that you are about to leave. Idk why though. My gut keeps getting this feeling though. You just don't seem happy with me anymore.

"One day we hope you stop holding it all in, and learn to let go and to forgive." ~ Martyr -- August Burns Red

Glad rush week is basically over so I can get my girlfriend back, so to speak.

If she was a drink she’d be single barrel bourbon on ice//

Smooth with a kick, a chill and a burn all at the same time//

My sunshine// Killin’ me in that tshirt//

That girl right there’s the perfect storm//

Finding joy in music again. Finding joy in movement again.

Smokin' on the loudest out Tryna see through a cloud of doubt Goin' till a pound is out We all got problems too proud to pout More than '99, I ain't about to count Takin' long walks when I'm out and about Dreaming 10 mil just to round amount Used to look for direction, till I found a route Wonder how the charts feel Paranoia thoughts stay dark, still Everyday I'm here I try to write songs Cause I know the beat'll longer than my heart will Yeah, tryna see every state No white lighters, hope I see 28 You can tell my girl i'mma be runnin' late Can't tell how much longer she's gonna wait A real good girl with a dirt bag guy She could probably do better than me Like a rich-ass lawyer with a house and car Who takes care of her and never leaves Man, shit I try my best Nobody here for me to try and impress I'd rather chase a dream Than be content to sit behind a desk I used to live with the highest stress But fuck it, I digress Just believe

Lately I've been losing sleep Stressed, sorry if my mood is deep No one to talk to, I use the beat A couple bad habits that I choose to keep My intake of booze is steep Pop a couple of pills that I use to sleep I think I took a few this week I'm trying to adjust to the hugest leap I'm living off this music, here But I'm afraid of failing That's the truth, sincere My anxiety is getting too severe But I ain't giving up, there's no excuses here Dying young might be my truest fear But now my future's bright and my view is clear Told her I'mma get it, I'mma do it, dear There's no way in hell I could lose this year I worked 10 years 'fore it ever paid off You don't know what I had to trade off I shed tears when my moms got laid off Life's never fair, it never plays soft I'mma go get it, I'mma do it for my folks Every day I'm out, man I always do the most You would do the same shit if you was on the ropes Shit gets realer when you zooming up close Just believe

I feel so distant from everyone, everything.

airows

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"Stop, listen, and learn."